music, therapy, and me

This is the first day of the last week at my current job. On Thursday, I will turn in my keys and head out into the world of uncertainty known as my first retirement. It is currently raining outside with rumors of severe storms on the way. I have tickets to see Disclosure Day  this morning, and I am hoping that the storm activity will not lead us to huddle in the lobby like I had to do during Avengers: Endgame . That was an interesting evening that ended up in a Tornado warning that wiped out houses and trees about a mile away from the theater.  Last night, I was unable to sleep, so I sat down and worked in my home planner/journal thing. It is hard to describe exactly what that book is to me, but it is where I keep track of all the things that I want to keep track of. Since the day of retiring is rapidly approaching, I am getting ready for what life will look like next week at this time. A couple of weeks ago, I set up the pages for the rest of the year. The planner will last ...

I am one exhausted introvert this morning. I spent four hours last night in the company of crafters and scrapbookers. It is always a good time that leads me to doing all sorts of creative things, but it is also tiring. I engaged in small talk conversation with a couple of other people last evening. The craft store owner seems to be an extravert, so she stops by everyone's table to comment on what we were doing. She complimented my coloring last evening. I find that particular type of interaction to be a bit fake, but it tickled my funny bone. I only lasted four hours, but I am heading back in about an hour to do some more stuff. I have the innards of several books ready to be put into currently nonexistent covers. I will take some floss and my bookbinding kit and the pieces that I need to make books for the signatures I put together. I looked for some inspiration for themes for the signatures that I put together, but I didn't find any. I will search a bit more here at home. I h...

After 30 summers of working an extended school year as a music therapist, I can tell you that the best part of having to work all summer is that my school has Fridays off! This was something that came from a need to keep school as part of the daily routine of our students and led to less time away from the classroom, but having three-day weekends all summer long has kept me going during the hot, humid, depressing summer months this entire time. This is my last three-day weekend during the summer. Next weekend will be my first time as a retiree. I am both ready and not ready at the same time. I feel like the Schrödinger's cat experiment is my life right now. My life is the cat in the box where there are possibilities that cannot be known, and people keep asking me for definitive answers about things. Answers that I cannot give because I don't know what the state of the cat is at any given moment. I wish I had more of a plan in place, but I am also needing to rest. I figure that ...

This is the last day of my work week, and it will hold the first "last" session of my current job. I found out yesterday that my first group on Thursdays will be going on a field trip next Thursday, so today is my last group with them. I am not sure if they know that they will be going on the field trip, so I can't really tell them that it is our last group, but I know that it is.  This is difficult. So far, three kids have cried and many more have asked me to stay. I cannot, but I am also feeling the guilt that people can dump onto you when you are choosing to leave a work situation. My facility is famous for trying to guilt people into feeling bad about their decisions to leave, so I have not been very vocal about my retirement plans unless asked.  One group of coworkers noticed that I attended a meeting yesterday afternoon without my work planner. I figured that there was no reason to take notes, so I left my notebook on my desk. I have no more meetings to sit through ...

It is time to finish this all up. I am ready to be on my way into my future, but I have to do the process of saying goodbye to clients and co-workers before I can get started. Kids are crying at the thought of my leaving. Co-workers are stopping me in the hallway to tell me that they will miss me. All of that is fine, but it is more attention than I am comfortable with. At my last job, they forgot that I was leaving on my last day and scrambled to get me some roses (which I am very allergic to) as a good luck token. I kinda prefer that type of departure to having to go through gifts and recognitions. Celebrating myself is not something I am comfortable with in groups of people. I just don't like it. I am steeped in nostalgia this week. I have spent lots of time thinking about old clients as I have been taking things out to my car. Remembering is a good exercise when you are shifting into a new reality, but it can also make it difficult to leave. I am retiring from my current job be...

It is difficult to wake up right now, so this is going to be a short post because I was up at midnight, did not get back to sleep, and now am wanting to get the sleep that I missed. My eyes are bleary, and my brain is not wanting to go to my hot music therapy space to clean, do therapy sessions, and clean some more. I am going to be "late" to work today - I can feel it. I have reached the "I don't care" stage of this termination process. This is not a good place to be, but it is happening now rather than a year ago, so that's good. Everything that is going on is temporary for me. Who cares about the clinical team meeting? Not me. Who cares about whether the thermometer gets fixed? Well, that is something that I care about at the moment, but I only have seven more days of work. I have ten days until I actually am finished. Having a deadline is making me feel frazzled as well as excited, but it is difficult to get up in the mornings. My Seasonal Affective Diso...

I did not make anything yesterday, but I did move my desk to a different orientation in my office/craft basement room. That has resulted in a huge mess, but it has also allowed me to see things and evaluate how things are arranged in my living space. It was worth the strain on my back to have a new orientation for my working space. I am almost finished with the transition. I still need to move things off the desk and into more permanent locations, but I am not finished figuring those places out. I have invested in lots of different types of storage options for all the different things that I have collected, so I am trying to figure out where these things will live from now on. The main problem that I have is that I have to remove things from places so I can fill those places back up with other stuff... As I move things, I often find inspiration in the form of notes or resources that I have collected and then not looked at for a time. I have old ideas that I want to develop further writ...

My home is full of stuff. Music Therapy stuff that I have collected, curated, and used over my career of 33 years as a music therapist. Thirty of those years were at a facility where I worked with school-aged clients in a residential and school setting, so I have lots of materials that are meant to spark the most uninterested of people into some sort of interaction. Add into that all the years of textbook purchases, intern training information, and several decades as a church musician, and I have lots of music and music therapy stuff around, and it is piling up. Right now, my focus is on getting things from work to home. I am almost finished with that process. Once everything is home, I will be ready to organize into my piles - give, sell, toss, and keep. Fortunately, once everything is home in two weeks, I will have all sorts of time to engage in organizing, but I am starting to do some of that right now. I am looking around my space and am trying to envision how I will need to access...

Today is my busiest music therapy day during the summer. I have five music therapy groups and one leisure skill group to get through in a hot, humid room where I cannot change the air conditioning level. After today, I have only five more sessions to get through before a three day weekend. Last week, one of my afternoon groups arrived 30 minutes early and then got miffed when I asked them to leave and return when they were scheduled. "But it was at noon on the board in the classroom." "The schedule says 12:30. I'll see you all again in 30 minutes." "Hmph." (That was the staff member.) I thought I was losing my mind. Let's hope that doesn't happen again today. We are exploring my decrepit piano this week. It keeps breaking and then breaking more, but it is time to use it before I leave. Many of my students do not realize that the instrument is in the music therapy room all the time. They act like they have never seen the instrument before despit...

For my entire career, I have rebelled against the idea of session planning. I struggled with procedure sections in my undergrad training. I've written about this recently - how I would take the example in our practicum handbook, change the details but not the format, and would be told that it "was not right." That was all the feedback that I would get. I would ask how to make those sections "right," and no one could tell me how to do that. I had a revelation in the summer between my junior and senior years (thank all that is good in the universe), and then I was able to figure it all out, but that experience has left me a bit leery of writing session plans. One of the biggest issues that I have with session plans is that there is so much that happens in a session, and it is impossible to foresee every response. Plain old impossible! So, I don't write session plans. I haven't for my entire career because I find the practice to be busywork. Instead, I focu...

Not many words today - lots of pictures!! Join us at 2026 Creativity Camp - link to registration and all the details here . 

Today is a lazy Sunday. I spent my Friday engaged in music therapy resource creation, my Saturday in actively avoiding anything other than sorting materials and clearing carpet, and now it is Sunday. Today's plans include a shower, washing bedding, a movie at the local theater, and spending some more time with music therapy stuff. I have to arrange my first-ever full conference scheduled for the second weekend in August. That is something that is zapping my energy right now. I have cleared some spaces in my home which has helped a bit with my attitude. Basically, I shifted piles from here to there, but I also went through those piles and started the sorting process. I want to get materials sorted into zones in my house. Instruments in one location, visuals in another, books in yet another. You know what I mean. This morning is something that I treasure. After working as a church music director for 26 years, it has only taken me 2 years to start to treasure my Sunday mornings. No mo...

I spent a good part of yesterday putting together three projects as well as the task analyses for those projects in preparation for Creativity Camp 2026 . It was fun to create things to share with others, and I have three more projects to complete to get ready for Camp. I like it when I feel that I have made some progress towards reaching the end of my quests. Today's quest is to make a difference in the upstairs portion of my home. There is laundry to put away, dishes to wash, carpets to vacuum, and all of that cannot be started until some of the music therapy materials are stacked and sorted. Before all of that can happen, though, I have to go pick up my grocery order and get the food put away. I will also need to eat as I keep moving through my to-do list. I am feeling kinda jumpy and twitchy today. I don't know why, but my back itches, and I just keep having muscle twinges in my arms. I don't know if this is a reaction to my summer SAD or if I am just overwhelmed and th...

This is the most challenging season for me, and it makes it difficult to get motivated to do ANYTHING! I am getting ready for a large life change (retirement, here I come, kicking and screaming and trying to pretend that I know what I'm doing) that is adding stressor after stressor after stressor. My brain is struggling with all sorts of things, so I am taking out my self-care and brain sparking routines to help me get started on some creative projects. When I find myself in a creativity slump, the only thing that really works to get me feeling inspired or remotely interested in composing or drawing or making things for my music therapy clinic is to create using rules. The rules are arbitrary, made up by me, and something that I can break at any time if inspiration takes hold. I have found that my rules for creating help me break out of a stagnant state. When I am in need of some new songs, I break out my composition kit and my rules. Chance composition is the best technique for me...

One of my favorite movies is called Bowfinger . It stars Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy (in a dual role), Christine Baranski, Heather Graham, and a bunch of other people. There is time when one of Eddie's characters is experiencing a crisis brought on by the rest of them, and he is talking to his spiritual leader. He has established a mantra of "Keep it together," which becomes an acronym for him and is also his name - easy to remember. "Keep it together, keep it together, K-I-T, keep it together." Since I love this movie, this has become one of my mantras over the years. I love it because it reminds me of something I love as well as gives me something to think about and hold onto during times that challenge me. This is one of those times. I am entering a time of year that is usually pretty difficult for me to navigate. I am not fond of the summer months where I live. I tend to have more depression symptoms during the summer months than the winter months, and this y...

When I was in my undergraduate training, learning how to be a music therapist for the first time, we did all sorts of data collection during our clinical practica. We did time sampling and frequency counts and all sorts of mathematical processes to interpret the data that we took. As a graduate student, I had to delve deeper into data analysis. Data drove everything in those environments, and there is a role in my current job, but it is not as difficult as it was when I was in school. Here are some setting details: I am an educational enrichment therapist. This means that I see every student in the school for an hour a week. I do not do eligibility assessments, formal assessments, or carry any IEP goals. All students have music therapy whether they want it or not. All of the goals and objectives that I carry are internal rather than formal. Most of the music therapy sessions are groups. Individuals are rare these days. Okay. Now that you know where I am coming from, let me explain how ...

I am currently organizing my Creativity Camp packets for Creativity Camp 2026. If you don't know, this is my latest CMTE offering to the music therapy community, especially those who like making things for their music therapy sessions. Part of the CMTE is a digital kit with instructions and all the information needed to make several projects. Right now, I am going through the task analyses of each project and writing them down to include in the digital kit. Task analyses were something that we focused on when I was in my undergraduate education, and it was something that I struggled with at every turn. Some of my peers were able to do them quickly, and I was able to do it when I was simply writing an analysis - we had to do one on taking a shower. That was easy. My difficulty came when I was expected to write these analyses for clinical interventions. I think I was bogged down more on the "what-ifs" than just writing things. This was my major struggle during my clinical ...