music, therapy, and me

My Niec-at So, my sister reads my blog and sent me her ideas about what my themes should be for each day of the week. I got a text last night (after I was asleep) about what she wants to see as my themes. Here it is - Maker Monday - Tune In Tuesday - Website Wednesday - Thinking Thursday - Fact or Fiction Friday I am still navigating the ideas for each of these themes, but I will start some of them. Since today is Tuesday, let's investigate a bit more about what Tune In Tuesday could be about. It could be about music, music videos, musicians, therapists, or educators that are part of my life or that I've noticed. I'm not sure I could sustain that for long. It could be something about things to pay attention to as a therapist.  I just don't know. I am kinda dithering these days. I have little to no focus for anything other than medical appointments and reading books. I want to do more, but I just can't get going on any project. I have one more step to go through befo...

I am bored. This happens during breaks. There is just too much to do here at home, so I am overwhelmed and a bit depressed that I haven't accomplished much, and some denial about what I will actually get finished during the remaining time off from work, and disinterest in going back to work the way it is right now, so this all adds up to boredom in my mind. I am bored. I want to do so much, but I am not doing any of those things. In fact, I am just sitting here writing my THIRD blog post of the day - the other two were not really all that thrilling so were deleted. I am watching The Mandalorian because, why not? I have a package that I need to send out into the world later today, but the post office doesn't open until 8:30. That's 2 hours off still, so you know, can't do much about all that. I need to make the bed with clean sheets, start clearing out the closet and transferring winter clothing and summer clothing, and continue my ongoing quest for decluttering, all whi...

It is the end of this calendar year, and I always become nostalgic when it comes to changing the year from one to the next. This year has been full of challenges and ups and downs, and I feel the need to talk about where I am in this moment right here, right now. I took my cat's leftover consumables to the vet yesterday to give the resources to cats who will be able to use them. I have closed the door to her bathroom and haven't cleaned out her litter box yet. I know that it is silly not to clean up, but I just can't do it yet. I am allowing myself the opportunity to grieve the way I need to grieve. I will know when it is time to say that final goodbye. I also went to my Occupational Therapist for my second appointment. I increased my range of motion in all joints but am not to full mobility or range yet. She told me to start playing the piano and to attempt the guitar again. I also have these wonderful straps to "help" me stretch. Doesn't that look like fun? ...

I am in the most difficult part of my role as music therapy internship director right at this moment - that of observer and NOT therapist. My interns have taken over all groups but two and a practicum student has taken over one of the two groups leaving only one group per week for me. This will continue for the next two and a half weeks and then we'll have spring break, and I will get 10 groups back. In the meantime, I have to sit by the wall, watching and trying REALLY hard not to interfere in what my interns are doing in their group sessions. As a result of all of my time sitting and watching, I've had lots of time to just think. So, I think about all sorts of things - the future of AMTA, the ways that the difference in age groups seems to be working - or not working, education, clinical training, TME ideas, the price of chocolate, the list of chores that I have to get done pretty soon, whether group members are engaged in therapy well, whether I will finish my day in a g...

I've started this post two other times already, written about three paragraphs, and then deleted everything that I've written because it just hasn't felt right to me. Let's see if version #3 makes it to the final posting stage. There are lots of thoughts in this post - things that affect me as a music therapist at this moment right now. I'm not exactly sure if this is the type of post that you all will like, but this blog is called music, therapy, and me, so today you get mostly me. You can certainly stop reading now, if you don't want to know what is going on in my brain. I need to get it out of my brain in a way that allows me to acknowledge what is going on and how I think about it all...there you go. Anyway... I have made it to the half-point of my time off, and I am starting to have some twinges of boredom and guilt and shame and all that. I am managing to get lots of rest, and my sleep patterns are all screwed up, but I am feeling a bit better tha...

I went back to work yesterday after a (sorta) restful five day weekend. I was greeted by about 70 emails (not bad for being gone for 3 work days), and the news that several students had left and new ones had arrived. In other words, a typical return after being gone. My office was a bit more cluttered than usual, thanks to an order for the student incentive store, but I could still get where I needed to get and was able to do some stuff. I settled in to figure out my morning, and readied myself to watch some therapy. The first three groups went very well. We do five groups a day, so I'm sure that you can extrapolate what I am trying to say here. During my morning, when things went well and kids seemed to enjoy being with us, I was able to do some journaling. I'm trying something that I have never done before while I am at work. I'm actually doing some daily journaling and bullet journal type tracking of my mood and my productivity. In my home journal, I don't do th...

I love it when I am bored. Boredom leads to many different things for me - napping, chasing the cat, going outside, and making things. Yesterday was a boredom day that led to a new idea. Let me explain. Yesterday morning, I got up, blogged a bit about my intentions for this week-long break, and then did the chores that I needed to do. I went to the car place and got new brake pads, rotor repairs, and a brand new battery. I went to the Dollar Tree and bought some new storage containers. I then came home and started thinking. By late afternoon, I was completely and totally uninspired to do anything. I didn't want to work on anything, the television shows were uninspiring, and I was restless. This started me thinking. One of the things that has always frustrated me about my music therapy clinic is the lack of communication options that I have available for clients. It is difficult to anticipate requests and needs for icons for 110+ clients, so I have always erred on the side o...

My mother has a phrase that she would pop out any time one of us would utter the statement, "I'm bored." After hearing the phrase once or twice, we learned quickly not to make that type of statement within her hearing because she would respond, "I can find you something to do." SHUDDER! What Mom found for us to do was usually something like mopping the kitchen or weeding the garden. It wasn't usually all that fun and did not necessarily combat the boredom issue, but it was something to do. I believe in boredom. I believe that out of boredom comes creativity. Mom taught me that. When bored, I can find a path out of that boredom because Mom encouraged me to do so! I heard "I'm bored" from clients all week this week. Many of them made these statements when they entered into the session room before I was even able to do anything with them. I am wondering what is happening. Once my clients get used to the fact that they had to walk 25 feet...

I know it's late, but here's the blog post for today. (So sorry, Janice!!) I woke up this morning, finished a couple of tasks, got distracted by one of my games (it gave me unlimited lives, Janice, UNLIMITED LIVES!), and then had to get ready for the appointments that I had to do. Now that the tires are rotated and balanced, I can focus on thinking about my blog post. Today is a day for self-care through the completion of tasks.  I have taken care of my car care, I went shopping at Target, and now I am eating a late breakfast/early lunch. I went shopping before I ate, so I ended up with lots of stuff for lunches for the next month and not much nutritional value, but I am going to enjoy these things as well. The next step in my self-care day? Talking to my parents. They will call as they go through their own Saturday morning routine - breakfast at McDonald's, grocery shopping, trip to the post office, to another store for more shopping, and then home. These weekly ch...

I am sitting in my bed after waking at 5am, trying to figure out what to write about. There are some more advocacy situations brewing (and I find that I have some relatively unpopular views on these particular situations), so I could continue in the trend of yesterday, but I don't want to do so. I get tired of being in the minority (and being the one jumping up and down in the corner screaming "Don't do this! It just makes us seem like music-owning viragoes who have no common sense"), so I say my piece and then try to move on. I would rather keep my advocacy efforts for others instead of wasting them on my fellow professionals. (I'm thinking I may need to take a break from Facebook groups for a time.) Anyway, I don't want to dwell, so I am looking around for other relevant topics for this music therapist to write about. I am on the second Friday of my recuperation and leave from work, and I have not had client contact since the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. I...

It's been 8 days since my surgery, and I am currently in a bit of a restless state. My brain is craving things that I don't have at home. My legs hurt from all of the positioning that I've had to do, and I don't have the ability to drive anywhere, so I'm pretty much stuck. My major interaction with the world is through the internet, and there are just some strange things going on out there. Bella alternates between wanting to be on top of me and not wanting anything to do with me. (There's nothing like a cold shoulder from a cat. I walk into a room, she stalks out. Gotta love that feline personality.) On the up side, I've weaned myself off most of the pain medication and am walking with support on my new ligament, so things are progressing (I think - the doctor will tell me tomorrow if I'm doing well). I have little to complain about. It's time to just be. My life has been simplified by the fact that I am homebound. Usually during this month, I am ...

The brain is starting to work (I think) after three days of heavy duty medications that made me a bit loopy. I switched medications at 3 am this morning when I woke up, and then fell back asleep immediately. When I woke up again, I was able to focus my eyes, think a bit, and make a plan for the day. Chemistry is quite amazing, especially when you are the beneficiary. So, I spent the day watching television, trolling social media, and doing some stretching. I changed my dressing all by myself a bit ago. I am now back in bed, elevating the new ACL, and am waiting the nightly phone calls from my family members. The cat is grooming - she's been smack up against me most of the time and hasn't walked too far away from me since I came home from the surgery center. She's not very good at fetching things, but she's excellent at lowering the blood pressure - she's got a wonderful purr! So now it is time to start working again. I don't spend lots of time just sitting a...