music, therapy, and me

It is Friday, right? That's what the calendar says at least, so I bet it is actually Friday. My day started the way most of my working days started - early but rested. It was a nice change from the way things have been going lately. I am getting ready for a trip. I will travel across the entire country twice and across half of the country twice as well. There is lots of travel in my future, and I love that, but it brings some additional tasks and things to prepare that do not usually come up. My desk is littered with reminders and things to move into my various planners. I tried to do some work in my next planner yesterday. I wanted to decorate my personal planner and get started with the new year. I messed up every page that I tried to complete. After fixing some of the mistakes, I just gave up because nothing was working the way I wanted. At all. I was very frustrated with myself. Frustration is one of those emotions that can color your entire day. I experienced this over and ove...

Oh dear. It is starting to blur - the day, the week, the time that I have to spend doing things. It is horribly hot here (for me, at least), so I have no desire to go outside for anything - no shopping no movie, nothing outside my home. The biggest problem?? I don't want to do anything inside my house, either, but I am doing that inside stuff very slowly right now. I made my decision about health insurance, and I used some of my savings to cover the cost right now. I have to go six weeks between paychecks right now, so I am budgeting very strictly at the moment. I have a month to do before I get my first pension payment, and I am still not sure what that payment is going to be. Today is my first official day without a teaching contract. I am finished with all things that were part of my old job, and the space, the clients, the position is someone else's. Strange thoughts and feelings right now, but something anticipated and invigorating as well. One of the things that I have ma...

I am exhausted. If you don't know (because you're new to this blog), I finished my job of 30 years two days ago, and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything that has happened in the past 72 hours. I was hugged by more people than usual, including the maintenance guy, on Thursday when I was saying goodbye to my clients and coworkers. For someone who does not hug much, it was lots for my body to endure, but hugs were important for others, so I did it! Yesterday, I was wide awake at 2am, and I could not get back to sleep. I have been having trouble both getting to sleep at night and sleeping for my usual 7 hours. Wide awake at 2am meant that I started to panic about everything that I have left behind and not knowing what is coming in the future. Ugh. I ended up going through a webinar and signing up for a continuing education business course by 5:30am. I also put together almost all of my information for the adolescent conference in August so I can submit the CBMT proposal an...

Good morning. After two days of seriously angry attitudes and just feeling like everyone and everything outside of my home was stupid and set to make me even angrier, I think I am coming out of the mood - we will see, though. I haven't left home since Friday afternoon, so I am not sure if my anger issues have receded or just been unchallenged. Today's foray into the world will let me know if I am actually doing better or not. My random number generator spat out post #1711 for consideration today. I went back into the archives and found this post from December 15, 2017 - titled "...The 'Must Do' Rather Than the 'Want To Do' List. "  I am always a bit amused when I read past posts because they remind me that I am always struggling and striving to grow in many areas. This post tickles my fancy because it reminds me that I try really hard to be organized and to get things finished up in a logical manner but... I haven't used my "want to do" ...

It is Wednesday again, and I am finding that I need a bit of an attitude check as I head into the busiest day of my week...every week. At the end of today, I will have done more group sessions than are ahead of me. That never feels like a good thing when it is 4:15 am on a Wednesday morning, but it feels great when it is 4 am on Thursday. We have seven groups today - six of the required groups and one that I have added because I wanted to do something more for some of my clients. Seven groups. This is also the day that I do the most group sessions in my clinic. I lead three of the groups, my intern leads three of the groups, and the last group is musical support, so we work together. I have no prospective interns coming in this month or in January, so it looks like I will be returning to full-time therapy in the new year. In some ways, that role is easier than the role I have right now. I am both looking forward to and dreading that switch back into the full time therapist role - mainl...

Okay. This is going to be a strange blog post because I am feeling pretty fragile and not at all happy about things going on in my life. I find that writing about things like this helps me to navigate those feelings and figure out ways to move forward. My Dad used to be the person who helped with that more than anyone else, and his counsel is something I really miss at times like this. So, I am sitting here, waiting for the plumber to call me (30-45 minutes before they arrive) to fix a leaky faucet, and trying to keep myself together. I got the results of my allergy testing yesterday. It showed that I was only allergic to one thing that they tested for - a mold that grows on indoor plants. I don't have any indoor plants. I am not allergic to anything else - according to this test. This doesn't answer the main question in my life right now - why can't I breathe?? At least I can consider getting some kitties now - my blood did not respond to cat dander even though my eyes swe...

Today's Sentimental Sunday post is from September 15. 2015 . On this date, I shared a song that I composed for a consultation contract that I had been asked to do. I wonder if the school district is still using my materials. Anyway, check out the link for that free song! I used to share entire TMEs on my blog on Tuesdays. This was my practice until a comment on Music Therapist Unite made me very angry. The comment was basically critical of any music therapist who dared to ask for payment for their intellectual property. The comment was not directed or in reference to me at all, but it made me angry. The attitude of the new music therapist was that she should get anything that she wanted from other music therapists because she was new and needed ideas from others. She was upset because other music therapists (like me) required payment for access to our ideas and work. That was the end of free ideas from me because I found the attitude of "gimme, gimme" to be very privileg...

Today's sentimental post comes to us from July 25, 2019 . It is on a topic that makes up the cornerstone of my organizational system - bullet journaling. If you are interested in reading this particular post, here's the link .  I am currently starting the process of migrating into a new bullet journal, so this random selection is interesting to me. It is interesting that this came up (I use a random number generator, so I didn't actually select this post, it was selected for me) this week. I sat down on Friday and selected my next book from the stash of blank books that I have available at all times. So, when this was the post that my generator selected, it seemed to be a good time to review the reasons why I do what I do... I have always had a planner of some sort. My aunts and uncles gave me planning systems from the time I entered high school until I graduated. After that, I used my own calendars to keep track of assignments, tasks, appointments, etc. I use this planner ...

If you are new to this blog, then just know that I am a bullet journaler (sorta), and I tend to write about my journals on a regular basis. I love blank books - I make them, I buy them, I use them for all sorts of things. I have a personal journal that has a theme to it, but most of my journals are functional rather than decorative. What this means to me is that I don't spend much time making pages look pretty in my working journals. My personal journal, on the other hand, is a place where I spend some time with decorating my calendar pages - but, even that goes by the wayside when I am tired or pressed for time. So, let's get into the journal systems that I have in place. Journal #1 is my personal journal. Like I mentioned, it has a theme, and the theme I selected is Star Wars. Again, if you have been a reader of this blog for awhile now, you know that I am a Star Wars fan from the very first time I saw the first movie in a drive-in movie theater. So, having Star Wars as a the...

I am a non-digital type of person. While I love technology and use it for all sorts of purposes (ahem - music therapy blogger over here), I also strive to maintain healthy boundaries for my digital usage and consumption. I have not been as healthy with mindless consumption lately - and it shows - but one place where I remain firmly away from the digital lifestyle is my project and calendar management. I am a bullet journaler. I am also a decorative planner user as well as a project tracker. I am a journal hoarder. I have a different book and different style for each book that I use on a regular basis. I have many more journals that do not have a use yet - they just sit on a shelf in my office, awaiting their glorious purpose in my organizational quest.  A couple of months ago, I told my boss that I was bored with my job. I asked if I could get some funding to make task boxes for some of the classrooms. I started thinking about the types of projects that I wanted to make, and that l...

It is almost over...Star Wars week, that is. Oh, also, Teacher Appreciation Week is almost over as well, but that's almost secondary to the first celebration in my life! I love all things Star Wars, so this has been a good week for me. I started a new thing in my favorite system of all time - my bullet journal! I tend to use my books until I fill almost all the pages, and it was time to change from my current book to a new one this week. I have filled up my yellow book with weekly planning calendar spreads and notes and things that I feel are important to know about, and I decided to start up my new book for the month of May because...well, it is Star Wars week, and my new journal is a Star Wars themed journal. I am focusing on a different character each week. I found a list of characters from the Star Wars universe, used a random number generator, and now have a different character to research every week. I am trying to work on my drawing and lettering and just making time for doi...

I am working really hard on not working very much during this break. I tend to overestimate the things I will get done during my breaks, so I tend to spend my entire time away from work engaged in criticism of myself and getting into a downward spiral of coulds, woulds, and shoulds. To avoid this miasma of feeling this time around, I have set one goal for myself - to get a toilet paper roll holder and two towel bars installed in my house. That's it. If I can get these things finished, I will be happy with how I have spent my break. At the moment, I have overcome (mostly) my anxiety about drilling holes in my walls. I have drilled two holes for the toilet paper holder thing - neither of them is big enough for the screw holder thingies yet, but I have drilled into the walls. I have one drill bit that is bigger than the others that I have tried, so I will drill once more. If I cannot get the screw holder thingies into the larger holes, then I will give up and call someone to come into...

It is Monday. I was going to start this post with a title that included the word "exhaustion," but that's really the theme of life at the moment, so I decided not to focus on feeling tired and on getting ready for this week. This is the busiest week of my year, everyone. It is Online Conference for Music Therapy week, so my life will be taken over by last minute registration questions, trying to keep myself from losing it when other people make demands on my time and my process, and combating the stress that comes from having to do my parts of the conference. It is a difficult time for all of us who run the conference - anyone who tells you that running a conference is easy is seriously lying to you! I get very frustrated by the people who "forget" to register and then complain when they do not get information. I get very frustrated by those who seem to think that rules and deadlines are not meant for them. I tend to get very frustrated by those who do not read ...