music, therapy, and me

I spent a couple of hours making a journal yesterday. I am also currently making some leprechaun rhythm cards and puzzles for use in my March sessions. (If you are interested, here are the links to my Leprechaun Puzzles and my Lucky, Lucky Leprechaun Rhythm Cards in my Teachers Pay Teachers store. The files are low cost to you, and I get a little bit of money if you purchase the files.) The journal is a work in progress. It has 160 pages of 24 pound weight paper (left over from my thesis and just sitting there in a box, so I thought, "make a journal!"). It is based on a tropical theme because I just got some tropical scrapbook paper, and I felt an urge. Making a book is something that helps me concentrate, relax, create. I start with a piece of cardstock or cardboard, and I turn it into something new and functional. I get to figure out how to match papers. I get to decide if the papers are stitched into the book or can be removed and replaced. I get to decide if I add pocke

...I am thinking quite a bit about music therapy and how things work. It is always interesting when I get pulled into specific thoughts and ways of thinking because these are the times when I become very focused on certain things and lose sight of the bigger picture for a while. After a bit, I do find that I am able to widen my gaze and find where specific thoughts and theories reside within the larger music therapy community. It does take some time for me to move from narrow thoughts to wider thoughts, though. At the moment, I am into the thoughts about using established melodies and then changing their words to reflect what I need the words to be in the moment. See my post from 2/26/2022 for some short thoughts about that particular topic. I am also spending some time reading a dissertation that a friend of mine asked me to read and comment on - very interesting topic - goes in nicely with my quest for a Grand Unifying Theory of Music Therapy, so I am engaged in some music therapy re

A couple of days ago, I was struck by a thought. My intern was using familiar folk songs and changing up the words to accommodate specific goal areas.  I was listening to the familiar melodies with different words and wondered if this was a form of cultural appropriation. Just for the record, I use piggy back songs all the time, but I've never really thought about it from this view before. Is taking a folk song and changing it something good or something not so good? Does it matter how you are using the song? Is it part of the life of a folk song? Is it negating a part of cultural heritage to change a song into a music therapy tool? Do I owe it to those who created the song and who then passed the song through generations to know about the origin and intent of the original song before changing it to make it something that I use for convenience? Should I honor the traditional aspect of the song at all times? Or, is music a tool that can be used at any time by anyone? Does anyone els

As Friday rolls around again, I find that I have done little to no organizing with my current system project - my visual aid files. I have, however, dived straight into one of my other systems - my monthly boxes.  Each month has a 13 in. by 13 in. by 3 in. scrapbook storage box where I stash things that are related to specific things that happen in the month. They are labeled with the month name and include copies of my sing about mini editions , visual aids that go along with specific therapeutic music experiences (TMEs), and anything that has something to do with the month or the theme or the holidays that are in each month. This is a system that I have had for many years and that I use at times to help me spur my creativity and get myself going again in the TME development process. On Wednesday, I took down the March box from the cabinet next to my desk at work and opened it up. Inside, there are St. Patrick's Day books and visuals and activities. There are some Easter things si

My life has been ridiculous lately. I really have tried to sit down and write a bit about it all, but each time I start, I get bogged down in all the stuff that is happening and then I just get crabby and depressed about all of it, so I abandon one of the tools that helps me be a better me - my blog. Today, though, I am going to write something. I don't know what it will be yet, but I will write something on this blog.  I am the type of person that craves structure, order, and consistency. When those things are hard to find, then I spiral a bit. I have finished my spiral (I am hoping!), so it is time to get back into my structure, order, and consistency. Most of these systems are things that I impose upon myself - some of them are imposed upon me by work, by family, by other structures - but, most of them are my own. So, I am finding myself in need of the structure that I've neglected recently. To start with, I am blogging this morning. To be honest, I did attempt to blog over

I fell down two days ago. To be specific, I slipped when I was going downstairs, and I tweaked my foot. All I could think of was, "I should have gone down on my butt like I thought about before heading down the stairs," and "please, don't let me die." I obviously didn't. but I am going to have to do some stuff to make sure that I am less likely to fall in the future. After all of that, I hurt my foot. Yesterday, I wrapped my foot, headed to church, and then started a migraine headache. For my migraines, I get a ocular migraine first which disturbs my vision but does not have the headache as part of it until the ocular migraine leaves - then the head starts to pound and the light makes it difficult to function. I was able to stay at church through my Sunday School time, but then I had to leave as the headache was coming and I could not fathom being able to sing and listen to what was going on with a pleasant look on my face. I went home, took the headache med

Last night, I attended a webinar hosted by Alverno College that was led by Jenny Cook-McKenna. The title of the webinar was "The Genealogy of Music Therapy Theory," a topic that merges into my areas of interest in music therapy very nicely. I was not disappointed at all with the topic. It further strengthens my resolve to find the commonalities between music therapists while acknowledging some of the differences we have as well. Are you confused? Let me explain a bit more. All of my music therapy life, I have been baffled by the attitudes of some music therapists towards others that practice within a different philosophy of music therapy. I have been the recipient of these attitudes several times, and it makes me wonder why we have these thoughts and feelings in our profession. I have removed myself from many of the places where people seem to profess their beliefs that their way of doing music therapy is the only way to do things because I cannot fathom a helping profession

My exhaustion hit a wall yesterday, and I crawled home from my 16 hour workday with the news that today is another snow day. I am home, dressed in my snow day uniform of one of my Dad's college t-shirts and "not appropriate for anything other than home" pants. We have deep snow outside. When I drove home from choir practice last night, it was still 46 degrees Fahrenheit. It is hovering around 20 degrees now and the snow will continue for the next five hours (at least - I am hoping for more!). So, today's agenda includes rest. It includes resting and cooking and setting up the toilet paper dispenser that is missing in my upstairs bathroom. There may not be much else happening. I am struggling to be okay with that fact. I know that I need to rest. I also know that resting here at home means that my co-workers who have to work with my clients are not able to rest. My clients are not able to rest. This means that when we no longer have snow days, my co-workers will be mor

Yesterday was another rough day for my session - not for the ones that my intern ran, but MINE! I am starting to feel that this is a personal vendetta from my clients, but I know that is ridiculous. Today, I am heading into a full-moon (don't doubt, scoffers), upcoming winter storm, short-staffed, mess of a job to lead three groups. I am hoping that they will be at least a bit receptive to music therapy today. We have two other groups to go through - my intern will lead one completely and will do as much of the second as possible! In another setting event, I got home to a home without power - on webinar night. I was able to start a communication chain but had to cancel because I was unsure if the power would be on at webinar time. Sigh. At one point during my ONLY group session yesterday, there were two kids in crisis, one kid taking a break, and all sorts of situations happening. We had a new staff member in the session - don't even know the person's name - who did not app

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel? Look for MJ Landaker, MT-BC to find all sorts of recorded presentations, Sunday School videos (I didn't have access to any other channel), some music therapy thoughts and therapeutic music experiences (TMEs). I don't post things very often, but there is lots of stuff there, so please check it out, and if you like what you see, then like, subscribe, and hit the bell so you can get notifications when I post new content. For now, though, here is a video from a bit ago (you can see a cameo from my Bella) showing off one of my favorite instruments!! Have a great Tuesday, all!!  

I finally got my safety goggles and now I have no excuses for not working on my bookshelves. I am scared. I am still not used to the idea that I can actually anchor things to the walls without the landlord getting all upset about stuff. I am the landlord. I am the landlord. I am the landlord. I cut off the first two legs of my bookshelves on Saturday. I managed to cut off too much and scare a LARGE spider in the process, so I just gave up. My anxiety took off, and I compensated by going to lie down the rest of the day. I didn't go downstairs at all yesterday afternoon. Instead, I did laundry and emptied a bag of clothing and put most of the laundry away. Not all of it, but most of it. Since I cut the bookshelf a little too small, I bought some brackets to add to the wall to keep it in place. Now, I have to learn about anchors. It seems easy enough, but I have never done one before, so it is something new to study. I have to find my drill bit. This morning started really early. Most

Now, don't worry. I am not making this statement because I tried something foolish and now know that I need the aforesaid goggles. This statement comes from many decades of trying to do various projects and then realizing that I need to think things through a bit better. So, this time, I am waiting to start using my new saw to cut my shelving down to size until I have safety goggles. I have about an hour before I head outside to clean out my car and get it over to the mechanic for a tire change. After that, I will head to Walmart for my goggles and various other things that I think I will need before heading back home to work on my project of getting my library looking the way I want it to look. Before that, though, I am sitting down to write this blog post. I am restless. You know, my down times tend to come with restless times as well. I am unsatisfied with what I am doing with my life, and that tends to lead me into thoughts about why I am doing nothing to move myself forward. M

I made a bit of progress this week on my current visual aid organization system. I sorted the visual aids into different boxes and brought some rainbow photo card cases that are currently labelled and starting to be filled. I am excited that things are starting to come together the way that I want things to be. I wish I could say the same thing about my house. I am craving order right now, and I am not finding much of it around me. So, the progress that I have made is moving me towards finding that order. I have found a couple of categories for my boxes. I have songs, music things, games, tools, and visuals. I haven't been able to find my large sticker paper, so I have not made my labels for the boxes themselves, but I now have my categories. Progress! My photo card cases are also labelled. I have one for miscellaneous cards. I have one for emotion cards (I have tons of those!). I have one for music cards. Some of them are song cards, some are instrument cards, some are music game

It is Thursday. I am trying really hard to be thoughtful today. I spent time yesterday involved in a very loud drumming group with a bunch of very cooperative students who responded to the iso-principle in front of the principal exactly as I hoped they would. Everyone got a drum when they entered the room. We drummed loudly and enthusiastically until we tired and then engaged in active mood vectoring until everyone was happy and content and quiet! The principal got called out of my session after 20 minutes, but that is the longest time that my recent administrators have spent in my room, observing my music therapy, in about 15 years! He was complimentary when I saw him in the hallway later. I always approach these formal evaluations with a bit of bemusement. I have never had a supervisor who was a music therapist. I have had three out of my seven supervisors who have worked with other music therapists so had a smidgen of knowledge about what music therapy is supposed to be. For most of

I woke up at the usual time (around 3am), wasted some time on social media (TikTok is addictive for me), showered, and I am now sitting here, thinking about what I am going to write about on this Wednesday.  My boss surprised me with the announcement that it is time for my formal evaluation (happens every three years) and asked when I would like for him to observe. I offered the four remaining sessions that I have this week that are mine alone (translation: My intern isn't running her TMEs in these sessions). He selected my 10am group - a bunch of late adolescents with significant involvement in their developmental concerns. I am nervous - a little - but more about whether he will "get" what I do with kids or whether he will be like his predecessor who really didn't care at all. In fact, the last time I had one of these, the principal didn't even bother to come and observe - she just used the notes she took in the minimal observation that she did the three years b

I released my sing about may 2022 edition on Saturday, a bit later than I usually release these subscriptions, but on the 5th which is my release date! I looked back at my releases in May over the past several years, and I noticed a trend. Every year, I have a release during my busiest weekend in February. I didn't really thing my release date completely through when I decided that I would make it on the fifth of every month, but this only happens once per year, so it isn't really a big deal. There are implications, though. In February (when I release sing about may editions), I am always in the midst of the Online Conference for Music Therapy's annual conference. I rarely have time to do much other than conference stuff, so I end up with less ideas to share. As a result, I end up padding the May edition with some of my other writings. Last year's edition included my music compilation of popular music from 1900 to 1979. This year's edition included my Music Therap

Two years ago, I was in the middle of some sort of mystery illness. I had been tested for Influenza (all sorts of types), and I did not feel fluish, but I did not feel well, either. This was before our world shut down, and who knows if what I had was COVID or not, but the timing was pretty interesting. I did not have nearly as many symptoms as listed on the information from the CDC at that time, and I don't think it was COVID, but it remains a mystery nonetheless. I will always wonder if that illness was COVID. I did not hear anything about COVID until March 13th when my school shut down for COVID when we all shut down. The idea of a global pandemic was not on my radar at all. I avoided all things news-related because I got too angry with decisions made by leadership and the results of all of those decisions. It was better for my mental health not to engage in consuming news. I still avoid most of the news, but things are a bit better for my health these days.  In the past (almost)

My busiest weekend of the year is almost over, and I have survived with little to no aftereffects (as of now!). Last night, at 5:45pm (my time), the eleventh Online Conference for Music Therapy finished up. We had started the evening before and then hosted music therapists from all over the world as presenters and attendees in our online format. I have been part of the planning of these conferences from the beginning of it all, and I love and dread every moment! Now, the love of this conference definitely overcomes the dread that I get, but the weekend of conference is usually my most stressful weekend of the entire year. I have anxiety dreams about the internet going down, missing presenters, things that I have to do not getting done, trying to talk and not being able to use my technology, and all sorts of things that are related to helping to run an online conference and many other things that have absolutely NOTHING to do with anything! It is the one Saturday morning per year that I

This evening is the beginning of OCMT - the Online Conference for Music Therapy's annual conference. So, I am awake an hour before I set my alarm, sitting here, trying to figure out when I am going to get all sorts of things done before tomorrow morning when I have to be moderating presentations. Today is not a snow day...yet. I am not holding out much hope that it will be a snow day at all, but another snow day would be really convenient for me. So, that means that it will not happen. I will do my usual things for this conference. I will spend some time explaining to people that they cannot register after the fact. I will send lots of links to panicked presenters who didn't register. I will be present for the opening part of the ceremony, and then I will head out to get some sleep while the other folks take their turn at the helm. I will come back when I wake up. I am an early morning type person, so I will be helping out in the early morning hours. Then, I present on music th

this picture will make sense - keep reading It is a snow day. My superintendent made the call yesterday afternoon, so I knew that I did not have to go to work today since yesterday, and I am embracing the day away from work. Yep, you read that right. I decided to stay home today. I am trying not to feel guilty about staying here, but it is a difficult reach for me. I feel guilty. So, time to embrace that feeling and then release it into the world. I may try to get out of my driveway tomorrow to get to work, but I might not. (I think we will have another snow day tomorrow, by the way.) Today is already full of chores and things to do for work. I have to make some signs for an upcoming after school event run by the clinicians at my facility for our residents. I like making signs, so I am going to take this time to do this task. I will be Zooming with my intern who is also having to take a snow day at her house. I was able to finish up her busy box of things designed to stimulate her crea