music, therapy, and me

I know my "why." I know why I am leaving a good job after 30 years. I know why I want to move from full-time work to part-time work. I know why I want to work from home for a bit. What I am not quite sure about is "what" I want to do. Now, I am trying really hard to relax into the idea of not having a set plan, but my structure-seeking brain really wants me to know everything in my immediate future. The problem is that I am not exactly sure what I want to do. It is always an interesting situation to have no plan reaching before you. I was this way when I moved here back in July 1996. I knew I was going to graduate school, but I had no idea how I was going to support myself while I was doing that. The TA position I had been told I could have disappeared, so I had to find a way to support myself and my education habit while paying full tuition. The job that I scrambled to find did not start when I needed it to start - there was much turmoil happening at the facility w...

It is Tuesday again, so here is a therapy technique that I use when working with my current crop of children, adolescents, and young adults in a psychiatric residential and day school. Overplanning everything! Sound simple? It really is. For every session that I lead during my workweek, I have about twice the options of therapeutic music experiences (TMEs) available than I actually use. I use my session strategies like a menu. Students come in yelling at each other - that calls for some non-verbal interactions - let's play a game! Students seem exhausted - that calls for some alerting - let's do some stretching and movement. I have my options available for me at any time in the session. This means a bit of strategizing on my part. I have to know the materials that I have available to me during the session time. I hate having to get up to get materials out of cabinets during sessions, so I use my strategy to plan what I might want to use. I have ways that I accomplish this. Most...

Happy Monday. I had another insomnia night where I did not sleep well at all, and now I am going to do five groups and an individual session with less than usual rest. I do not know what I want to do with my students this week, but I will figure something out before the first folks walk into my room at 9am.  I am starting to feel the stress of leaving start to come over me and my ability to do this job. We have two weeks of "regular" school before a break and then our extended school year is starting up. I will tell students about my retirement in June as I am taking things off the walls and out of the cabinets. I expect a mixed bag of emotions and responses from them. I know that I am a mixed bag of emotions myself, but I am swinging towards the "I wish I didn't have to get up and go to work" state of being right now. Knowing that I will be able to sleep when I want and turn over when I have a rough night for a couple of months seems very luxurious. For now, th...

Ah, my primary nemesis, we meet again. Standing in front of you, I feel shame and disappointment in myself - not anger, but the more cutting disappointment. It is entirely my own fault - I set deadlines and timelines and then listen as they whoosh by my head. I have a project that I wanted to get started last month, but that didn't happen, and this month's deadline came and went without any sort of movement towards accomplishing the project. Other things have taken precedent, so I have accomplished other stuff, but that poor project is just sitting there, neglected and crying out for attention. That is my usual pattern with my side job - it gets buried in the mass of things I have to get finished for my main job. Today, I have a bunch of chores to get started and finished surrounding a trip to the theater to see The Devil Wears Prada 2. I have to get multi-vitamins and avocado mash as well as my regular grocery order, then come home and put the groceries away before heading to ...

It is finally Friday, and that means one individual and two groups to go before the weekend is upon me. I am getting ready for a crop night at my local craft store where I will do something for the time that we are going to be there. I have to go straight after work, so I have to figure out what I will need to take with me before I leave. I am up to two boxes and a backpack to lug out to my car and transport to and from work before using it all tonight. These are the types of things that keep me going when I am needing a creative boost. This evening will be hosted by the craft store, but we can work on anything we want to work on - with 15% off any purchases all night! I have done one of these already, and I am looking forward to this one. Before I get there, though, I have to get through my last two groups and that individual session. It is also the deadline for talent show submissions, and I only have three submissions so far. I will cancel if I don't get more people interested. ...

Happy Thursday, all. It is time to think a bit about stuff going on in the music therapy world - well, at least stuff that I know about. I am no longer a member of the American Music Therapy Association. This is my second year of not paying membership dues, but I still get all the emails and announcements. I was thinking about my separation from this organization yesterday because a job that I felt I would be good at but ultimately decided not to apply for was filled and announced. I have a little bit of jealousy about someone else getting this position, but I am also relieved that I did not apply. I left the organization because it was feeling less like a professional advocacy organization promoting music therapy for persons we serve and more like a political action organization demanding socio-political changes in the greater world. I do not feel like a professional organization should be making political statements about situations that are not directly related to the profession. No...