music, therapy, and me

I have officially entered the time of the year where it is difficult to tell what day it is on any given day. I have to look at my calendar to see what I will be doing today. As a result, I wake up a bit confused each and every morning. Today will include a change in my schedule - most of my clients from my first group will be gone for the morning to compete in the local Job Olympics. So, I will have an extra hour to sit and contemplate things - or take stuff to my car - that would be a better use of that extra time. I have so much stuff, and I have so little motivation to organize it into useable systems. Just can't get myself to take control of the stuff yet. I am hoping that I will find that motivation before I am finished with stuff, but that's not really happening - yet. I have set up some shelves, and more are on the way for the library.  I am a hoarder. I don't think it is pathological - yet - but it could easily become that way. I have difficulty getting rid of just...

In a week and a half, I will be the only inhabitant of my therapy suite. One of my suitemates is retiring, and the other accepted a great, new job and will also be leaving. This will mean that I will have that space all to myself again, and I am in a state of anticipatory grief. I have worked with these co-workers for my entire time at my current job, and I am also getting ready to retire, so there are lots of feelings swirling around and in me at the moment. I find that anticipatory grief is the worst state for me. Knowing that something is going to happen and having to get used to the idea is more difficult than being thrown into grief. (Now, please know that this is my opinion rather than a fact, so you are encouraged to form and express your own opinions about what I say - any time or any topic!) Knowing that my co-workers are leaving is hard to process, especially when I still have to see them for the next week and a half. I have not told my clients that I am retiring from this jo...

Why are Tuesdays more difficult than Mondays in my world? No, seriously. I am struggling this morning more than I did yesterday when I felt horrible. I now have a headache and chills to complicate matters. It is not virus or bacterial, it is all about the headache. Recently, I've been waking up with what I consider a migraine situation - difficulty with temperature regulation (it is interesting having hot flashes and chills simultaneously), headache that moves all around my brain, and light sensitivity. I have not had these types of headaches before - usually my migraine activity happens when I am awake, and I get a visual migraine first. Not with these things. When I woke up this morning, it was when the light turned on. I was not feeling it. I allowed myself to stay in bed until about an hour after that event. Now I am up and not really looking forward to going to work today. I found out yesterday that my second suite mate is leaving in two weeks when the first suite mate is reti...

It is the first day after Spring Break, and I have torn myself away from my bed and to the computer. I will be taking a shower here in a bit before heading to work, stopping to get gasoline on the way. I will see five groups of students and one individual before doing bus duty and then returning here to collapse into my bed. My knees are still hurting after kneeling on the floor to do behavior management training and CPR during the professional development day that we had just before we left for break. This means that I will not be moving much until my knees are no longer hurting. The first day after a break is usually pretty smooth because students are glad to be back. The second day after a break is usually pretty rough because none of us want to be back. I am hoping that today goes smoothly because I have lots that I need to get done in between session times. They have hired my successor, so I need to get my things out of the storage space as soon as possible. I have made a good sta...

It is the last day that I can sleep in for about two months. Spring Break is over as of this evening, so I will be returning to my work routine for three months and a week more before I will retire from this job and start my next music therapy iteration. I have had a busy week of appointments and spending money like I have it. My car is aligned and the brake fluid has been replaced. I have my taxes submitted and refunds on the way. I am feeling confident in my financial situation, and I have plans swirling around in my head for what comes next. I took some time to play with paper and made a small book. It has been a pretty good break. I also missed a meeting that I was supposed to run, so there is that.  Yesterday, I had a peer supervision meeting, constructed some shelves for the library room, and finished a book by Mercedes Lackey. I made a big breakfast and had a pizza bowl for dinner. I also ordered new shoes, new shopping bags, and some more shelves. I will be going grocery sh...

Oh, no, here I go again, trying to find something new to keep my brain going and not atrophying from lack of use. As the reality of moving from full-time employment to something else entirely is getting closer to actually happening (lots of discussions with different people about this topic this week and more to come). I alternate between panic and excitement, anticipation and absolute terror, and all the other emotions as I think about what will happen on July 1. Meanwhile, I still have three months and a week to go before this becomes a reality. In the meantime, I am getting ready to release a new thing via my website (ugh, the website needs SO much work - put it on the list!). For a long time, I have wanted to put together a subscription box - themed or goal-based - for music therapists. About the time I wanted to start this up, I found a company who was doing just that, so I did not pursue the idea further and just subscribed to Music Therapy Mailings. They have since discontinued ...