music, therapy, and me

Oh, reader of mine, I have finished my last Talent Show at my job, and it was a doozy! Not for my performers, but for me! At 10am, my slipped discs moved into absolute pain stage. Things just pinged and were accompanied by sharp, deep pain. Of course, the talent show started at 1:15, so I had to hobble to my desk and request assistance from my big kids to take things down to the gym. Then, none of the speakers worked with the adapters and cords that I had available. We ended up starting 15 minutes later than planned as I tried to get my pain-filled body to and from my music room to the gym more than I originally wanted to get some sort of music system happening. I finally rigged a microphone to the bluetooth speaker, but that's a really poor way to run music. No more! (I am going to order a bluetooth speaker system for the next music therapist to use. I am not going to pay for this one, but it is imperative that the next person does not have to struggle through the things I've ...

Today is the day. Today is the last Talent Show that I will run at my current facility. I have no idea if there will be a Talent Show next year, and I am okay with that thought - mostly. I have sixteen acts to coordinate and one of the students is coordinating a "surprise" for me that I will have to play guitar for... we'll see how it goes. I think I have run at least 29 of these shows. We even did virtual talent shows during COVID. It has been an interesting process of finding how I like to run things to provide my clients with opportunities to show off a bit. There is not one right way to run anything, and I've found that my attitude towards the talent show is that flexibility has to be the key. I've had students freak out about being looked at by everyone in the school and run out to pull the fire alarm. After that happened, the student sent someone to tell me that the student wanted another chance. I did not allow that. Sorry, but putting everyone in potential...

I know my "why." I know why I am leaving a good job after 30 years. I know why I want to move from full-time work to part-time work. I know why I want to work from home for a bit. What I am not quite sure about is "what" I want to do. Now, I am trying really hard to relax into the idea of not having a set plan, but my structure-seeking brain really wants me to know everything in my immediate future. The problem is that I am not exactly sure what I want to do. It is always an interesting situation to have no plan reaching before you. I was this way when I moved here back in July 1996. I knew I was going to graduate school, but I had no idea how I was going to support myself while I was doing that. The TA position I had been told I could have disappeared, so I had to find a way to support myself and my education habit while paying full tuition. The job that I scrambled to find did not start when I needed it to start - there was much turmoil happening at the facility w...

It is Tuesday again, so here is a therapy technique that I use when working with my current crop of children, adolescents, and young adults in a psychiatric residential and day school. Overplanning everything! Sound simple? It really is. For every session that I lead during my workweek, I have about twice the options of therapeutic music experiences (TMEs) available than I actually use. I use my session strategies like a menu. Students come in yelling at each other - that calls for some non-verbal interactions - let's play a game! Students seem exhausted - that calls for some alerting - let's do some stretching and movement. I have my options available for me at any time in the session. This means a bit of strategizing on my part. I have to know the materials that I have available to me during the session time. I hate having to get up to get materials out of cabinets during sessions, so I use my strategy to plan what I might want to use. I have ways that I accomplish this. Most...

Happy Monday. I had another insomnia night where I did not sleep well at all, and now I am going to do five groups and an individual session with less than usual rest. I do not know what I want to do with my students this week, but I will figure something out before the first folks walk into my room at 9am.  I am starting to feel the stress of leaving start to come over me and my ability to do this job. We have two weeks of "regular" school before a break and then our extended school year is starting up. I will tell students about my retirement in June as I am taking things off the walls and out of the cabinets. I expect a mixed bag of emotions and responses from them. I know that I am a mixed bag of emotions myself, but I am swinging towards the "I wish I didn't have to get up and go to work" state of being right now. Knowing that I will be able to sleep when I want and turn over when I have a rough night for a couple of months seems very luxurious. For now, th...

Ah, my primary nemesis, we meet again. Standing in front of you, I feel shame and disappointment in myself - not anger, but the more cutting disappointment. It is entirely my own fault - I set deadlines and timelines and then listen as they whoosh by my head. I have a project that I wanted to get started last month, but that didn't happen, and this month's deadline came and went without any sort of movement towards accomplishing the project. Other things have taken precedent, so I have accomplished other stuff, but that poor project is just sitting there, neglected and crying out for attention. That is my usual pattern with my side job - it gets buried in the mass of things I have to get finished for my main job. Today, I have a bunch of chores to get started and finished surrounding a trip to the theater to see The Devil Wears Prada 2. I have to get multi-vitamins and avocado mash as well as my regular grocery order, then come home and put the groceries away before heading to ...