music, therapy, and me

This is the time of year when school work seems to be never-ending. For some reason, the spring semester is SO much LONGER than the fall semester. I don't know why that is, but it is. Today is the start of the three weeks we have before Spring Break. After break, we have a stretch of time that just goes on and on and on before the end of the regular school year. For some reason, most of our days off happen before Winter Break and the spring has very little to look forward to in terms of self-care and designated time off. We also haven't had many snow days this year - just one so far, and very little indication that others will happen. Of course, the weather is still very unpredictable, but I'm not holding my breath for more inclement weather days this school year. This also makes the spring semester seem very long. In my behavior management training, we are often told to consider the difference between actual and psychological time, especially when in conflict with a studen...

Today is the start of the #The100DayProject , a creative challenge that lasts for 100 days starting today. This is the third time that I am attempting this challenge, and I have decided to make things using the stuff that I already have rather than purchasing new materials for the next 100 days. I started yesterday because I had a creative itch that I needed to scratch. I made a summer-themed journal with some paper that I bought about a year ago. It is not finished, but I made a good start on it. The cover is done, except for the strings to keep the signatures secured. It is a frothy type of journal - lots of pastel colors. I will post pictures when it gets a bit more finished. I will not be creating every day of the next 100 days, but I do strive to use what I have in my creative exploits. I have lots of materials to use and to use up. I have stamps and dies and paper and cardboard and all the stuff. I am allowed to buy double sided tape if I need it, but everything else is off the p...

I had a couple of rage moments yesterday at work. They were not pretty, and one of my suitemates came over and shoved some chocolate under my nose to placate me. It helped a bit, but I was still very angry at the situations and people involved. This has been a long week. It started with a day off where I got many things done. For some reason, Monday days off make the rest of the work week go poorly. In addition, we had to work 11 hours on Wednesday to make up time in our contracted hours. So, we ended up working a 36 hour week rather than a 40 hour week. The extended hours meant that I had to take my pain medication later than usual so I ended up being very tired yesterday morning which did not help my disposition. All sorts of things just culminated in a temper tantrum yesterday afternoon. I am a bit ashamed about this, but I am also reaching the end of my patience. People are shouting out comments about my retirement in the hallway when I am not ready to share that with the general p...

Apparently, today is Ash Wednesday. This used to be a big deal when I was a church music director, but it is just another day for me now. In fact, I just figured out that it is actually the beginning of Lent. I have been blissfully unaware of the church calendar for the last two years, and I have found that I really don't miss the work, and I REALLY don't miss the people who tried to make me do their jobs without proper payment. There you go. As I remember the things about my spiritual practice that I loved, I find that most of what I miss is the rituals present in that practice. I had never had my forehead crossed before I started working at the church that I was part of for 26 years. I loved the ritual, the comfort of the same words through nine pastors, and the ability to share music in those spaces and times. It was something that indicated the busiest part of my liturgical year, but it was also the most meaningful. I am still angry about how things ended at that job, but I...

I am supposed to have a list of questions for my current supervisor to ask interviewees along with key phrases for him to listen for. I have been struggling with this because I honestly don't know what would be meaningful for him to know about candidates. The questions I would ask as a therapist are very different from the ones that a principal would ask. I really am feeling very reluctant about being part of this process because I was interviewed by the person I was replacing, and it was not an interview at all - it was them telling me how to do things. I didn't do any of the same things when I started - it was complicated, but I was doing two jobs for the facility at that point so things had to change. I do want to meet the candidates, but I want to be the person who gets to show them what we already have in place rather than being the one who asks questions. I don't want to end up being a scapegoat if things do not work out with the person selected. A cruise of AI-genera...

I did quite a bit yesterday - not all of it was good, but I got lots done. It is time to start the last day of this long weekend on a good note and just get it all done. Tomorrow, it is back to the grind, but today is just for me to do what I need to do around here. The dishwasher is still clogged. It got worse when I tried to "fix" it, so I will need to call someone else in to fix things up. I will do that around 8am when the business opens to see if they can come in today. If not, I'm not sure what I will do - perhaps they can come tomorrow after I am finished with work. I hope I can get things to work pretty soon because I am just not able to continue with things the way they are. Blech! I need to get to cooking up some food for my next several days at work and here at home. I'm trying some new nutritional programs, so I have to get going to keep up the momentum. I am navigating the things that I cannot eat versus the things that I will not eat (there are LOTS of t...