music, therapy, and me

How can it already be Sunday again? And the 20th? Already?? This year seems to be flowing past me in a rush. Since it is Sunday, it is time for a Sunday Song post, and I actually have one this time! On Monday, I hosted a reward session for one of my clients who shared the song, "Brighter Days," with me. Sung by Blessing Offor, and written by him and a co-writer, Sam Mackenzie Ellis, the song speaks about remembering that bad days are not the only things that we experience - or, at least, that's how I am interpreting the lyrics right now. That even in the pain, there is love. So, right now, I am wallowing in the music of Mr. Offor. While he is a Christian artist, I find that many of his songs work for those who are not Christian but who are humanistic in outlook. There is something about hearing that someone else feels like there are positive things happening in the world, even in the midst of all the horrible things going on, that helps me move forward.  There are so many...

First of all, I LOVE thesaurus.com. I now have an "S" word for "thought" when I was unable to find one using my own brain. Second, yesterday's park event was not as bad as I thought, and my wish for rain almost manifested! We all huddled around the shelter, wrapped in blankets, while the principal grilled hamburgers and hot dogs for us. After that, we had an egg hunt and were released for self-care. I took a long nap for my version of self-care. It was wonderful! This is the first year since 1998 that I do not have Easter duties. I am up and down about that, but I am feeling much better about not being part of the church right now. I think I dodged a bullet in that situation, and I do feel much happier without Sunday School duties! I miss the ceremony and tradition, but not the people determined to stab my in the back. Okay, for my own health, I am going to stop this train of thought and go with other things. Today is reserved for going to the pharmacy to pick u...

Today is a professional development day where NOTHING that is being done will develop me professionally. How do I know this? I have been through 30 years of this pattern - I know. We will be hearing an update on the curriculum that we are trialing (not applicable to me as there is no music therapy element), and then will be going into a very-ABA formatted training on how to deliver KUDOS to staff members for doing their job. Ugh - it will include fidelity checks and rehearsals and things that I really don't need to hear, be present for, or practice. It is stupid and ridiculous, and we are not even given the actual KUDOS to pass out. We have to report our remarks to the supervisor of the staff member and they fill out the little slip of paper. It is a demeaning program all around, but we continue because there are some folks who believe that the only way to interact with people is the ABA way. I disagree. I have not been a fan of ABA since I was first introduced to it all in the ear...

Today feels like a rambling day, but, seriously, what day doesn't involve rambling around any given topic?? It is raining today. Yesterday, I had a comedy of errors going on around me. In the space of three hours, I had five vials of blood drawn, ate pizza, had bad intestinal issues, vomited due to a coughing fit, took two quick showers, and talked to my family members about it all. I also had to go outside several times to pick up my trashcans that scattered my recycling all over the place. My neighbor was throwing away a big joe chair that I really wanted for myself, but I did not pinch it, and now it is storming which means that I should not salvage it from the curb now. Too much mold and mildew would happen (but, I still want it! I might have to examine purchasing one for myself...). I deviated from my recent pattern of session topics to include a game day in the music therapy room this week. These games tend to be more active or song-based than board games or games on the Prom...

A couple of months ago, I decided that I needed to be more money conscious about my extraneous spending, so I started an envelope system. I started with five envelopes - fast food, books, crafts, home, and miscellaneous. In the past four months, I have used this system to help me make decisions about spending in these categories. Let's do a little bit of an update on how this is working for me. Overall, I think it is going pretty well. I have spent my fast food envelope more than the other four, with the books envelope coming in second. I have spent a bit from the other three envelopes but have not come to end of the cash there. I have done less spontaneous shopping, and that is making a difference in my budget. Today is payday which means I am currently flush with money. That will only be sustained for a couple of days as bills will be paid, but I have enough money to get my envelope allowance to replenish my envelopes. Since I spent some of my account money on books and food this...

This is the first Holy Week in over two and a half decades where I am not leading worship as a church leader. I had a very down day yesterday, and I think that this is part of it. I am still mourning the loss of my part-time church job this school year. I know that they took advantage of me and used me in ways that were not part of my job description, but I still miss that role. I loved the people in the congregation (at least, the ones that didn't make do everything that others wouldn't volunteer to do, the ones who changed aspects of my job every Sunday morning, and the ones who outright lied to me many times), and I loved being part of their worship routine. I don't miss the liars and the hypocrites who felt that I should be doing jobs that were not my own without changing my salary or even giving me a cost of living increase for eight years. Even with all of that, I still miss the job - or is it the worship that I miss? I do not know. The feeling of grief was exacerbate...