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Good Days, Bad Days, I Have Them All

This is the seventh week since my Father died, and I am in a mood. My mood is comprised of many different emotions, and I think I will name this mood something that has never been part of my consideration before - this mood shall be called, droplet. This word is making ripples in my mind right now (pun intended) because my emotions seem to be doing the same thing. One thought starts lots of feelings and responses and those feelings and responses ebb and flow and emanate from that one thought. When that one thought reaches the end, another begins. It is an interesting mood to be experiencing. Now, not all of these emotional ripples are negative or based in mourning. Many of them are pleasant and positive and areas of growth, but some are sad and tough to experience. For those, I cry a bit and then dry my tears with a small prayer of thanks for the lives shared with me. I allow those ripples to move across my body and then lose energy until the next thought starts the next ripple. I am r
Recent posts

Ranting of a School Music Therapist

This evening, I have to do my least favorite thing - listen to lots of talk about IEP construction. This is not because the topic isn't important. It is simply because, due to the way my facility categorizes music therapy, it is irrelevant to my position as a school based music therapist. My administrators don't think that it is "fair" for those of us who are not considered related services to do other things during that time. They think that we should sit in the presentation so things will "look good to the other faculty who do have to write IEPs." Ugh. I have tried to fight this battle over and over again and have lost each time. It is one of my biggest frustrations. I find mandatory training in areas that I am not allowed to access to be ridiculous, and I know that some of my fellow "educational enrichment" service providers feel the same way about sitting in these trainings. I am not sure that my administrators realize how much training and con

Try, Try, Again

Oh, my goodness. It has been a week already and it is only Tuesday! I am tempted to call in for the last little bit of my personal time just so I don't have to go to work today, but it is the last little bit of my personal time, and I think I should hold onto it as much as possible. It would be three groups that I would skip, and that seems like lots of work to skip, but the call is there, especially since it is Tuesday, and that means working with THAT group. You know the one I mean. The group that challenges every single part of my determination to be calm, cool, collected. The group members who know all of my insecurities and are determined to make me lose my cool. The ones who test me week after week, day after day, and moment after moment. The group that I cannot relax about because as soon as I settle into complacency, they flip and zig when I am expecting them to zag.  (I just realized that I originally put in the day as Thursday - oh dear, I'm losing it already! Changed

Exhilaration of Plans Coming Together...

I set up another Zoom meeting this morning. This one is focused on music therapy students and is all about finding an internship for each one of those students. I have a week to coordinate it, but this is a topic that I have presented on for many years, so I feel confident that I can get this coordinated pretty quickly. As I was putting this together, I realized that my website is pretty out-of-date, so revising that goes on the to-do list. This task joins several other tasks that I have neglected, so the list is growing and embiggening (word courtesy of Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess!) in leaps and bounds. Most of the things that I have on the list are things that I enjoy doing, so neglecting them is pretty silly. The only reason that I have not accomplished those things is because other things became a bit more important in the moment. I spent some creative time yesterday putting together a digital kit for theme-based communication boards for music therapy sessions. My goal is to have a

Taxes: My Number One Anxiety-Causing Topic

I admit it. I am useless when it comes to the taxation system in this country, and the subject of taxes is something that causes my anxiety responses to go off the charts every single time I think about it all. I wake up at 3am in a cold sweat at times, worrying about getting those taxes done and correct and all that stuff. It is one of the biggest stress-inducing activities of my year...every year. Now, I act as the treasurer for a not-for-profit organization here in the states and that has increased my anxiety rather than decreasing it. I didn't want to be the treasurer for this not-for-profit organization, but I kinda fell into it because of where I lived. My role has been the source of great joy over the past eleven years and also the aforementioned stress. This year, my accountant retired, so I now have a new tax preparer. I met with her this last week to complete my personal taxes, and I will never go back to doing my own ever again! I found things that I could itemize tha

An Oasis in a Sea of Change

As I was on my way to work yesterday, I remembered that this would be the day that everything at work would be changing. I mean everything. None of my students have the same classrooms that they had last Thursday when we were last in school. Everyone has either a new teacher, new actual classrooms, new classmates, or new classroom support staff members. No classroom has been left unchanged. So, three snow days, one holiday, and two weekend days ended and we then changed every bit of familiarity that my students knew for all sorts of new experiences! Apparently things were a bit strained in classrooms as clients are trying to figure out their new situations. We had three groups in music therapy and folks seemed to be glad to be with us. We had no issues with engagement or stress behaviors in our sessions. Kids who do not always engage got involved in what we were doing. New kids were demonstrating their skills in music therapy where they had just sat quietly in their new classes. It was

Time to Go Back to the Routine of Work

As far as I can tell, today is a regular work day for me as a school-based music therapist. I have checked and rechecked the closings list and it has remained at 55 schools closed for quite some time now. It is doubtful that my school district will close at this late time in the morning - not unprecedented, but doubtful. I tried to go out and do some errands on Tuesday and found the world to be a slick, electricity-free mess, but yesterday was a bit warmer (seriously! We got up to 22 degrees Fahrenheit with full power in my town), so things should be a bit more controlled and less scary out there today. I am enjoying the last little bit of my relaxed morning (been up for 3 hours already at 5:00am) before changing into my winter uniform and heading to work. I am anticipating that my current intern will be asking about whether we are going to be working - I think I'll send an email right now while I am thinking about it. Today is an easy scheduled day but it will be the first day tha