music, therapy, and me

I am struggling this morning with the return of grief. I was able to think and miss and mourn my baby for a bit without tears, but they came back as soon as I got up - I am not sure why that is. I am moving from moment to moment at this time, catching sight of one of my curls out of the corner of my eye and thinking that it is Bella coming to see what I am doing, then remembering that she is gone, and taking the time to cry about it. Most of my gifts this year were cat-related, so looking at those things bring tears. I still love cats, but mine is gone, and that hurts right now. Even though this has happened, I still go on, and there are things that need to be done that are not related to my Belle at all. Tomorrow, I return to my Occupational Therapist to do more finger exercises. My fingers are very stiff and it hurts to bend them, but I am doing so. I am trying hard to keep to my regime of stretching them in specific ways four or five times a day, but each time is more painful. I nee...

I spent some of my planning time yesterday looking at Pinterest, time sucking device that it is, for some creative inspiration. I'm in the mood to make some things, so I am searching for concepts, and there is no better place to look at stuff than on Pinterest. I now have lots of ideas, and it is time to flesh them out into realities. This is fun part! So, I have lots of cutesy clip art that I've purchased, so it is time to start putting my ideas into that clip art pool and then see what comes out of the mixer. I tend to go towards two poles - really cute and really functional. This help with my students - some like the cute, some absolutely do not - so, I can find use in both types of resources. The things that I want to focus on right now are multi-step and multi-functional activities. I did some work box activities like this for a co-worker who had absolutely no clue how to assemble work boxes, and I found it to be an amazing thought process. Here's how it worked. ...

At the beginning of this year, I selected a word to act as a focus tool. I wrote it in my start of the year 2019 pages and have added some notes about what this means to me since then. I also added a graphic on the other page that exemplified this particular word to me. In the picture, there is a stylized person standing on the edge of a cliff which is labeled "What We Are." There is a gap and another cliff. The gap is labeled "Leap of Faith" and the other cliff is labeled "What We Want to Be." (I do not know who the original artist is, so I'm not going to put a picture of this graphic here on my blog - I insist on being able to source all materials presented! It's a copyright thing, you know!) The graphic really spoke to me since the person standing on the cliff is looking down over the cliff into that leap of faith. I very much identify with that lonely figure at the edge of "What We Are." I took another leap of faith yesterday when...

This is the eighth post I've started today and it will be the last. I am not very interested in much of what is going on in my life right now, and I want something to invigorate me. It's not really happening by osmosis, so I need to start searching for something. The problem? I have no idea what something to look for. I do best when I have a challenge with a clear goal in mind and that is the part that is eluding me. I am just coasting through my music therapy life right now. My interns are doing the things that they are supposed to be doing. My clients are responding the way they always respond to music therapy treatment - some positively, some negatively. My professional goals are happening as I spend time on them. I've settled into a boring routine which is not very stimulating, so I feel my brain atrophying. This is not a feeling that I like. I need an interest. I want to find something that will allow me to grow as a music therapist. Maybe I should move int...

Over the past two weeks, I've been involved in a video challenge. The opportunity was offered by a music therapist that I know, and I decided it was time to expand myself into video work. Now, I am a comfortable public speaker - I can speak more confidently to a large audience than to a smaller group of peers, so the actual talking part of this video challenge is not what is challenging. For me, it is the sheer shock of what I actually look and sound like on recordings that keeps me from making recordings of myself. Point a camera in my face, and PRESTO! Immediate self-doubt and extreme discomfort. I am trying to become more comfortable with who I actually am rather than the picture that I have of myself. The challenge is good for me because it is making me more comfortable with being recorded. I watch my videos every so often, and I am getting ready to expand my video bag of tricks by starting to learn about editing and post-production thingies (can you tell I am a novice??) -...