music, therapy, and me

this picture will make sense - keep reading It is a snow day. My superintendent made the call yesterday afternoon, so I knew that I did not have to go to work today since yesterday, and I am embracing the day away from work. Yep, you read that right. I decided to stay home today. I am trying not to feel guilty about staying here, but it is a difficult reach for me. I feel guilty. So, time to embrace that feeling and then release it into the world. I may try to get out of my driveway tomorrow to get to work, but I might not. (I think we will have another snow day tomorrow, by the way.) Today is already full of chores and things to do for work. I have to make some signs for an upcoming after school event run by the clinicians at my facility for our residents. I like making signs, so I am going to take this time to do this task. I will be Zooming with my intern who is also having to take a snow day at her house. I was able to finish up her busy box of things designed to stimulate her crea...

Boy, howdy, this has been quite a year! I am sitting in the darkness and quiet of my home, looking at the glow of the Christmas lights and trying really hard not to think that I see my dear one walking down the hall to see if I've filled her food bowl yet, reflecting on the year that is almost over now. I am not holding out lots of hope that 2021 will be better, but at least 2020 will be over. I remember how many people were stating that 2020 was going to be so much better than 2019. I have several reminders of that prediction on my social media feeds this morning from friends far and near. Everyone was looking forward to the start of the Roaring 20's, 21st Century style, and the year definitely looked like it was going to be lots of fun for me! I made all sorts of daring plans for my future and was stepping out into ways of interacting that I had never even dreamed of before. I was ready and looking forward to challenges! Then came March 13th. One of the bad things about havin...

Yesterday, at 8:10am, I said goodbye to my cat, Bella. She had kidney issues and rapidly got worse to the point where it was obvious that she was not able to take care of herself. So, I had to make the difficult decision to let her go. The vet gave me the option of hospitalization for a couple more months or just giving her a release. I chose release. I am sitting here, not quite 24 hours after giving her one last stroke, in sobbing hysterics as I miss her snoring, her scratches at the covers, and her way of sleeping in between my legs in a way that completely immobilized me. I haven't left my house since I got home yesterday morning, and I know that returning to my home without her greeting me at the door is going to be rough. I know that one of the responsibilities of being a pet owner is making decisions about end of life for those pets. Bella was my first pet of my own. I first took her to the vet on September 2, 2006 - about a week after she became mine. She had been living wi...