music, therapy, and me

I am sitting here, at the computer, an hour later than usual, just not able to think about anything. I think this is my medication still in control, so I am taking a later start time this morning and trying to jump start my thinking process. This is not a pretty picture. My fingers are going all over the keyboard and even typing is difficult at the moment. Today will be yet another interrupted day for us. We have the annual holiday dinner which is a fundraiser for one event that our students participate in later in the school year. I am on food duty this time, so I will have to find a chair to sit in because standing for long periods of time is not something I can physically do at the moment. So, we will be doing holiday dinner things in between music therapy groups today. This day is more about the staff members being busy than the students - most of the students will not be involved in this at all - but, the dinner will interrupt our regular schedule. After today, the only holiday ho...

I am starting to fill up the gaps in my music therapy schedule with individual music therapy treatment times. This is a great feeling. I'll start individual treatment on July 11th when we come back for our second session of our Extended School Year. I'll get things going for three weeks, reevaluate, and then start up again when the regular school session starts. I am excited about getting back into this type of therapy. I've missed it, but there's something else going on. I'm a bit scared. You would think that my 23+ years of being a therapist would make things lots easier for me to jump back into this type of therapy interaction, but I am a bit scared still. I think most of these feelings have to do with forced light duty and almost a year of being out of my comfortable routine. I know that some of these feelings are rooted in fears of being hurt again. I don't want to be hurt again. I know that many of these feelings are somewhat irrational, but they sti...

I have laryngitis. It's a wonderful effect of the asthma medication that I'm on, and it is not getting any better, it's getting worse since the medication has increased significantly in the last three days. Wonderful, hunh? It's time to break out the laryngitis plans and do music therapy without singing or speaking. Easy to do? Of course not! Necessary? You betcha! What am I going to do this week? First of all, stay as silent as possible. I will play the guitar, I will start and stop the graduation songs, but I will not be able to sing along. I will do a saxophone and clarinet demonstration - playing what I cannot sing or speak about. If I really get in a bad way, I'll play my clients one of my favorite music-based Disney DVDs. I can also break out the card games, Jeopardy, mini-Uno, rhythm BINGO, the instrument memory game, Instrument Go Fish, or any of the other non-verbal TMEs that I have in my TME file. We could also have a dance party or do karaoke (y...

I am on medication again - the same medication that I was on all of last year that causes me to be depressed and VERY non-therapeutic. I hate being in a medical fog. The lesson learned, though, is a small inkling of what my clients go through on a regular basis. It is amazing how medication can affect everything that goes on around you. I wonder what happens in the perceptions of my kids when their medications are switched by their parents/guardians and the psychiatrist. They don't have much of a say in any of their medical decisions - one of the downsides of being underage. I now know a very small bit of how those medications affect the ability to relate with the outside world. I haven't been able to go far outside my house this week. The medical condition that I have requires pain medication, walking really slowly, and occasional spasms. The medication to "fix" this condition makes me feel dizzy, causes depression, and fits of crying. My rational brain knows tha...

Do you like medication side effects? I, of course, don't, but it is a fact of my life right now. The medication that I'm on causes me to feel depressed in addition to helping me feel better as far as pain goes. I find that this manifests itself in a couple of different ways. First, I find that I am happiest when I am around my clients. I still love making music with people, but I also want them to cancel their sessions so I don't have to do anything. Instead of my usual enthusiasm for making sure that my clients have the treatment I think they deserve, I am willing to cancel, if needed. Second, I overreact to the most stupid things. Yesterday, I FINALLY got to see the plans for the new music room. I was not happy and started to cry when I saw the space. I have real concerns about the functionality of the space itself and my fears were not assuaged by any means. Actually, I now have more concerns about the space that music therapy is being crammed into. Third, I am tak...