music, therapy, and me

Yesterday was a day off for me. I had reached the end of my compassion and was stuck in compassion fatigue, so it was time for a self-care day. I was exhausted, even after a full night of sleep, so I took some of my precious time off for yesterday. It was a quiet day where I got some things done. I took out my yard waste trash can with the remains of a branch that fell during our last windstorm. I took out my trash can as well. A load of dishes is waiting to be unloaded. The sink is clean. I picked up some stuff in my craft space. I took the read books out of my To Be Read pile and brought them downstairs to the library room. It might not sound like much, but these tasks are the ones that have been nagging me - things that can be done in less than five minutes but that are no fun for me to accomplish. Today is the last day with students before our break. I have four groups to navigate and then all I have that is structure for tomorrow is a faculty meeting. After our meeting, we will us...

My sweet girl in '17 Today starts my three-day professional development focus for this calendar year. I have not had much time off for professional development, so I am looking forward to an opportunity to pursue some music therapy topics and ideas that have been percolating. I am planning on spending most of the time between now and Sunday morning involved in vision development, product development, composition, and time away from everything.  One of the things that I am trying to focus on in the next several days is what I want to do with my intellectual endeavors for the next five years. I plan on retiring from my current job once I qualify for my full pension, so I have to start to think about what is next for me as a professional. I do not think I will be ready to walk away from music therapy completely after this job is over, but I am thinking that I will want to have more time for creating and consultation. To get to that point, I have to start some planning and routines now...

Oh, it is break time, which means that I have lots of time to myself to sit and think about things. This year is a bit more quiet as Bella has now gone and isn't here to distract or argue with me. So, my brain is trying to fill the silence with interesting and distracting things to think about in the middle of other tasks. For example, I woke up yesterday very upset that I had missed Pi Day. Now, I never do anything interesting or special for this day, but I was sincerely disappointed in myself for missing it. It was all I could think about when waking - "Man, I missed Pi Day." I then went to my computer to see that it was, in fact, Pi Day, and I had not missed anything! Why did my brain focus on that particular thing to stress me out about?? Who knows? It's just the way I'm navigating life these days, I guess. Well, this morning's theme is "what do you really want to do with yourself?" It is conference season (and I am not attending ANY this year), ...

By the way, this is an extremely opinionated post - I figure that this is my blog, and I encourage different perspectives and point of view, but, ultimately, this is my place to think about my profession and where I fit in it. Feel free to comment, unfollow me, or write responses to what I post - I will read everything and select what I want to share with the bigger world...Now that's been said...here we go. This has been a strange year for us all. The "way we do things" is changing in all aspects. I started crying a couple of weeks ago when I was watching a movie where people went to a restaurant to eat with people not in their immediate families. I miss just going shopping because it is Saturday, and I want to get out of the house. (I don't do that these days because of the need to remain as germ-free as possible due to my role as a live, in-person, essential health care worker. The responsibility is always there...) My sister has not met her current crop of second ...

This really has been a good week. I have felt happy, calm, and stimulated by my thoughts and ideas. The conference last weekend tired me out, but I think it also reminded me of the parts of this job that I absolutely love. It also gave me an excuse to sleep the rest of the weekend. Maybe that should be part of my self-care plan from now on - intellectual stimulation from people who are somewhat like-minded about things and lots of time to sleep afterwards. I have felt a bunch of calm since I decided not to propose any type of presentation at the national conference this year. I have been trying to come up with presentation ideas that don't bore me to tears, and I've been coming up with absolutely nothing. I realized that I was putting pressure on myself for something that ABSOLUTELY nobody cared about EXCEPT FOR ME! I mean, most of the people who will attend the conference this year will not miss me at all. That's okay, and to be expected. I will probably have some pang...

All journeys take unexpected twists and turns. I have finished my first music therapy challenge of the new year. I'm thinking this may be something that I pursue more often as the challenges that I have completed have really helped me figure some things out. The problem with challenges is that they illustrate to me just how much I do not know about getting to my destinations, but they all have served to illuminate a new part of the path. (I'm still very much mired within my mind map concept, and I'll be working on making that map a reality later this morning - I took an important step this morning on getting some roadside assistance, as it were, so things will be moving!) I made some good decisions and progress on my journey this week. I know what I want to do, and I have visualized my end goal. I know what I want to do with my time, my energy, my attention, and my resources. I know what I want, and I am starting to figure out the way I'll be getting there. St...

My view every morning... Today is just a Sunday for me - not a Song Conversion Sunday or a Synthesis Sunday - just a Sunday. What is the reason, you may ask? Well, it is the last day of the AMTA annual conference, and I am getting tired.  I am so very glad that I came to conference. I always am during and after the conference itself. This conference has been one of significant growth for me. I have stepped outside my comfort zone many times this year, and that is something so very exciting (after it stopped being scary). I've made one new Facebook friend, talked to folks about new opportunities and ideas that I have for myself and for others, and have given out several small stacks of business cards. I made a goal-based paper chain last night in the art room (that HAS to continue - it was perfect for me to be creating something in a space with others and without much constraint!) - I even got an invitation to submit a presentation for the annual Art Therapy conference next ...

About six months ago, I led a presentation at the super regional conference for the Midwestern and Western regions. The title was "Been There, Done That, Now What?: From Slump to Career Pivot." During that presentation, I encouraged participants to dream big. We spent some time thinking about our future lives - what would be if we stayed in the same place, what we could be if money was no object, and then a combination of the two. My "lottery winning" plan continues to challenge me - it is always at the back of my mind when I drive past the lottery sign on my way to work. What would I do if I had millions of dollars?? If I had an unlimited amount of money, I would start a music therapy community clinic in my parent's town. I would want to employ several therapists and be able to offer music therapy services to all sorts of clients. I would want to have a community band and a community choir for people to come in and use music for recreation and well-being. I w...

Yesterday, I spent some time engaged in busywork. You know the kind - work that someone thinks has value but really just takes up time and siphons energy away from other tasks. Fortunately, it was only 15 minutes worth of time, but the exercise itself had nothing to do with my job or my vision for my job. The exercise was related to a book that we are all reading this year for our jobs. The book is entitled "The Energy Bus," and was a quick read. It is about finding a common destination and getting people onto your bus who will add to your energy and get you to your goals. It is a good idea and a wonderful story, but the process that we are taking to find a common idea is not really clear. Disclosure: I am not someone who enjoys team building exercises. I am not someone who enjoys most group projects (with the exception of this one we did in eighth grade). I am the type of person who does best when I am allowed to be on my own with occasional check-ins with the others. So...

I have a small box full of inspirational quotations that lives on or near my desk at home. It came in my first package from Music Therapy Mailings , and it has been the source of many thoughts, blog posts, and mindful moments. This is a post inspired by the last two cards I pulled from the stack. The cards - What do you think they are telling me? I use a random approach to choosing my inspiration. Basically, I pick up the box, shake out the cards, and choose the one that feels right on my fingers. That one goes up front. The last two cards have been about following passion where it leads. Fortunately, I know that these two cards are true, at least for me. Following my heart and what I love is how I found music therapy to begin with, and it is what keeps me in this profession. Most of my current wishes include things that are not related to music therapy at all. That is actually a relief. I often think about burnout, compassion fatigue, and reasons why people stop being mus...

I am on vacation. I took some time and money this break to come on this vacation, but it has been worth the time and all the money to be here and to relax. I don't relax easily. Between working full-time, part-time, and trying to let people know about my business ( click here for the website ), I am always doing something. It is rare that I have time to just sit or to swim or to look at my mother's craft rooms and get ideas. I am loving that time right now. I didn't think I could do this vacation right now, but I juggled some things around and found that I could, and more importantly, that I NEEDED to do so. Everything fell into place. The flight cost was the best I had found in years and years, the family connections and timing worked out right, and I was able to get someone to snuggle with Bella-cat during this break. I am now in the realm of sunshine and low(er) humidity, basking in the pool and with family. It is perfect. I talk to interns about self-care all ...

One of my mother's favorite sayings is from Emerson. “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson , Self-Reliance She sticks with the first nine words and doesn't go through the entire thing, but I'm glad to know those first nine words. They have led me through changes and to opportu...

I was interested in this Leap Day thing, so I went over to Wikipedia and found lots of information. (I know, there are lots of academic-types out there screaming, "Wikipedia is not a dedicated source!! Why would you look there for any type of information!!! Aaargh!," but I always start with Wikipedia to get an idea of what else to look at. Sorry, professors!) You can find the link I started with here .  Did you know that some calendars add an additional MONTH during leap years? I am very glad that the Gregorian calendar doesn't add an entire month.  I am fascinated by our planetary journey around our sun, our sun around the galaxy, and our galaxy around the universe. I always have been fascinated by such things. Leap Day reminds me to think a bit more deeply about these concepts and events. This day is a day when some traditions allow women to propose marriage and a fine be paid to any woman who is refused by the man of her choosing. Leaplings get to celebrate a lon...

It is time for another Thoughtful Thursday, and this week's quotation comes from Al Capp. "Success is following the pattern of life one enjoys most." - Al Capp I often think about what would have happened in my life if my family hadn't moved from all the places that we had moved from in my elementary school years. Where would I be if we had never moved from Dallas? Temple, TX? Hacienda Heights, CA? Denville, NJ? Would I have ever heard of music therapy or would I be working as a special educator or a mom or something completely different? One of the things that I do know is that I would be working with children and adolescents and I would still be doing music in some form - performing or teaching of some sort. The patterns of life that brought me to music therapy are the same ones that would take me into other paths - a love for music, helping, and people. I was lucky and found one road that allowed me to combine my passions into one job, one profession, one c...

There is a phrase in my job description that gives me fits. It is the last thing on the description and states, "other duties as assigned." It is this phrase that has led me to be a presenter for PBIS last week and is leading me into teacher interviews this week. Teacher interviews are not arranged around my schedule, so I am having to figure out what to do with three groups today (my only groups today - I actually get some planning time today for the first time in four weeks) without me. (It would have been nice to have the planning time BEFORE having to go into interviews, but this isn't a perfect world!) As I have aged (and aged and aged), I have realized that I need to know what the other duties could be before I commit to something. I also have to contemplate taking anything on that is more than I can handle at any given time. This is difficult for me to do. I want to be superwoman and do it all, but I have learned that I cannot do it all. My vision board (starte...

I am involved in many, MANY organizations and committees and boards that are concerned with planning for the future. We've been slinging around the term "Visioning" lately. I know what "Visioning" means, but it was worth a bit of time sitting down and doing a bit of exploration to see what others vision and how they do it. Start with a question. Something along the lines of "Where do you see yourself/music therapy/this organization in __ years?" I've found that, lately, I need to start with "Why do you want/need to be in this organization?" And, "What do you want to be doing?" After you decide what you want to do, it's time to start thinking about the future. "What will I be doing in this role __ years from now?" "What do I want to be doing with myself __ years from now?" I am going to get some visioning started today. I have to think about things in several places, but I have to also vision for mys...

I often find myself wondering if I am going down the right path for me and for music therapy... does anyone else ever feel that way? It's time for some introspection and general thought generation, so here I go. What I am trying to do is to figure out my vision for myself and my music therapy presence for the next 5-10 years. This is probably coming up since I am no longer in school, have just signed a lease for the year on my current home (I wanted to move, but can't), and am feeling a bit stagnant in my current job. Things will be changing for me soon, but right now, I am just simply feeling stuck. So, it's time to shake myself up a bit. So, how to do that? I've been thinking about it a lot. One of the things that I started playing with is a visual organizing program called Inspiration. It allows me to put things into a visual format - something that really works for me and my learning style. The program allows me to put my ideas into a flow chart and then manip...

The biggest message that I got from the Online Conference for Music Therapy this past weekend was that I really want to define my role in the music therapy world in a way that makes sense for me and my future. Whew. Many of the selected presentations were about mindfulness, self-care, business development, and finding our own places in the world. So, this started me thinking about my website, my wish to offer continuing music therapy education courses, and my love of making therapy tools for others to use. I also started thinking about my strengths and weaknesses when it comes to my goals in life. So, I am going to take some time to process through the things I want for myself and for my little place in the music therapy world. Does anyone else want to join me? I'm going to hold a webinar on March 20th about Visioning Your Own Music Therapy Future to share what I've learned as well as to share the journey with other music therapists. If you are interested in joining me, p...

Today's post is all about random thoughts. Yesterday, I posted about the Online Conference for Music Therapy, an event that I am involved with (up to my eyeballs, at times). Today, I am getting ready to venture out into the real world of routine, work, and leisure. I made a brief foray into the world of work yesterday when I went to my part-time job as a choir director, but today I need to get back into the swing of things at work. I've been neglecting my interns' assignments. I've been trying to keep my metaphorical head above water for the past week, and now I think I can see the shore in front of me. All of my discussion lately about creativity drains, being overwhelmed, and the like may have come to an end. I created a new song last Thursday, and wonder of wonders, my interns remembered enough of it for me to replicate it the next day!! I will write it into Therapeutic Music Experience (TME) form soon so it is a permanent part of my TME file. Then, I will need t...