music, therapy, and me

What next Wednesday? That might be a good theme for writing since I tend to need some sort of organizational tool to help me figure out just about anything these days. I can tell you that getting older and having things happen with the endocrine system affects just about everything that goes on in a woman's body - including brain function and itchy ears. Just you wait, "Enry 'Iggins, just you wait! I am currently gearing up for a 12 hour day tomorrow and a wasted inservice day on Friday. We are going to learn how to run data analysis on our new curriculum, but I am not allowed to use the new curriculum because it has nothing to do with my job. That doesn't seem to matter to the administration who thinks that it looks better to have a full room than whether or not the training is applicable to staff members who are barred from using the curriculum program. There are about eight of us who are not able to access the information at all, but we still have to show up to the ...

This is a politics-focused post. If you are not someone who is disgusted by the things happening in the United States right now, then please skip reading this post. I cannot stay silent. It is only day 77 of this governmental regime, and I am already exhausted of all the ups and downs that are happening around us all. I feel paralyzed between the constant calls for actions that are not what I feel I can do and the feelings of guilt and shame that come with inaction. There are so many feelings that happen that I try my best to find what I can do while still remaining true to myself. I am someone who has a job that is school-based, special education service, and funded through categorical aid offered due to the types of clients who attend school at my facility. While no one has come out and said anything about security, there is a constant storm happening in the distance that threatens the last year of my school-based job. I am constantly waiting for someone to call me into their office ...

It is Monday, which means that I now give myself permission to get into a bit of a rant or express opinions that I hold near and dear. So, here it goes. I was thinking in the shower this morning about education and how students interact with the world these days. My sister, a second grade teacher, has a group of students that are challenging her this year. The students have not settled into any sort of learning routine. They have no interest in learning anything. All they want to do is play without consequences. Almost all of her students are performing significantly below grade level, and they have not been taught how to learn in their school experience so far. She is struggling to find ways to engage their interests while teaching curriculum (which is an entirely different rant) and reining in the extreme behaviors that happen every hour in her current classroom. I feel that we have shifted so far away from teaching into the realms of social-emotional development that we have forgott...

This has been a week full of interesting events - not happening to me personally, but happening around me. As you know, the presidential debate happened and was immediately followed by the 23rd anniversary of the 9/11 events in my country. I was struck with the thought that the 25th anniversary will happen after I retire from my current job - it really made the idea of my own future a bit more real. Strange how much history can put your own life into perspective, if you let it. In my life, I have lived through many historical events, and it is always interesting to me what I remember about them and what I have forgotten. As I get older, I find that I search for causes and effects of the historical events that occured around me. I am always interested in how thoughts and attitudes are shaped by outside influences, so I analyze different ideas. Let me share a bit more about me than I usually share. I am not registered with any political party - mainly because I hate the propaganda that c...

I am going to do something that I rarely do on this blog. I am going to talk about politics, safety, and fear. I do not like delving into politics (especially) in any public forum because I feel that my opinions about political figures and systems are private and not open to argument, but I've been crying all morning about the school shootings in Uvalde, Texas, and I need to process all of these emotions in a way that will help me sort through my thoughts. I am scared. I am mourning. I am angry. My sister is heading to her school this morning for the last two days of her school year. It is a tradition that the local fire station comes over, gives the kids a discussion about fire safety, and then squirts the kids with the trucks. I am scared that she will be standing outside with her students. I am scared that she will have to be huddled in her classroom. I am scared that she will have to protect the students in her school in a way that might take her from my family. I am more scare...

I am relieved this morning that someone that I voted for won yesterday's election. I find it very frustrating to live in a state where my vote is ALWAYS in the minority. It makes the exercise of voting seem futile at times, but I still vote. I still find it to be a small thing that I can do to participate in my country's bigger picture. That's all that I want to say about voting and politics because I find voting to be a very private process and that's it. Participating in our voting process always makes me think about how we attempt to regulate or watch or oversee or manipulate or what's another good word other people to do what we want them to do. I like the idea of checks and balance as a desirable outcome for governing. I like that idea for ethical behavior and therapeutic interactions as well. How does this work in the music therapy world? I am a member of my professional organization. This is one of the first steps that I take to ensure that I am doing w...

Happy Independence Day to all in the States! Today is a day that brings fireworks, celebrations, good food, and continuing political discourse in our country. If you are someone who lives in a place that is not the United States, there is one thing I want you to know. Not everyone who lives in the United States feels the same way about anything, and there are lots of us who feel that our current government is misguided, ridiculous, and just plain wrong about many things. I do not celebrate much on the Fourth. I have never enjoyed fireworks (the reason behind my reaction was FINALLY explained to me a couple of years ago), so most of what people do on this day is out of my comfort zone. I will comfort the cat when the fireworks start. They are illegal within city limits, but that doesn't really dissuade people from shooting them off all day. I'm going to make spaghetti today instead of barbecuing anything - I don't like the heat and humidity going on outside. I do like...

I am struggling right now to make sense out of our world. There are things that are happening that are traumatic. There are things that are wrong. There are things that will ruin us as a whole that are happening because of a very small number of people who presume that we share their ideas. I have a father and several family members who think that the things happening now are the greatest things ever. The rest of us don't talk about these things. I have been on a news hiatus since the last Presidential election. I find myself either yelling and getting furious at what I hear or I cry about it. There is very little in between, and I just cannot go through that process every day. So, I avoid listening to the news. Right now, though, there is no ignoring what is happening to families in our nation. I work with children who have been separated from their original families and often from many other family units as well. Sometimes those separations have been warranted - the family wa...

I am stuck in a thought loop these days. The thoughts are not always positive and have lots to do with the happenings of last week here in the States. I think I have a handle on what is going on, and then I see or hear something that just sends me back into a tizzy. Many of my thoughts are based on the just past election, but I don't discuss my politics with other people, so this will NOT be a political blog post. There are many other things going on in my small world - are you ready for a glimpse? My family is currently going through a situation that we had to live through about 20 years ago. I know this experience will make us a stronger nuclear family unit, but we have to live through it first. This all started on election day and has taken over most of my family interactions over the past week. This experience covers everything like a haze, coloring all other things. I was offered a new space for music therapy yesterday. The space is four times the space that I have now. ...

I don't usually engage too much in political rants, discussions, or (shudder) debates. I tend to make up my mind very quickly, and then I go through the process of what we call democracy in a private manner. Please forgive me for this rant about what we've been through the last 2.5 years. I am tired of politics. I am tired of how everyone seems to say one thing but really mean something else. I am tired of how nothing seems to get done because candidates seem to forget that our government is a three-way partnership, not an oligarchy or a dictatorship. As a single individual, I could make all sorts of promises about what I would do when given part of the power, but I still have to figure out how to convince everyone else to support and approve my plan. We seem to forget that fact during political campaigns. I am tired of people who claim to be or who claim to want to be MY "representative in (fill-in-the-blank) congress, house, white house, etc." I don't reca...

One of the songs that I sang over and over and over again as a song leader in Girl Scouts was "Going on a Squeegee Hunt ." Now, you may be wondering what a "squeegee" is - good question! It is an imaginary creature that was probably invented by some obscure girl scout in Southern California many, MANY years ago! Anyway, similar to the traditional children's song of " Going on a Lion/Bear/Tiger Hunt ," the song takes you through a sequential process over, under, around, and through various obstacles towards a goal. Today, as I am sitting here writing, I am thinking about the poor squeegee being hunted. It is just in its cave, trying to do its squeegee things without interruption, when suddenly, BOOM! Some Girl Scout arrives to poke it! The poor squeegee does what it can - it jumps up and chases the Girl Scout all the way home!! This has not been a good work week. It is amazing how people will make mountains out of molehills. Here is the deal. I se...

I get very tired of political commentary and discussion during election seasons. Last night was the first presidential debate. I did not listen, watch, or engage in any way. This is a conscious choice that I make during each and every election to help me maintain a positive outlook on life. Now, this does not mean that I am not informed about the political viewpoints of those running for office - I most certainly am. I just choose not to actively engage in the conversation. My feelings (right or wrong, they are what they are) are that I get to vote the way I want. I do not allow others to attempt to change my mind. I fully support your right to vote the way that you want and will not attempt to change your mind. It amazes me how the rhetoric of politicians moves into every organization at one time or another. If you are unaware of the current political debate in American music therapy, it is time to pay attention. At this point, the members of AMTA are discussing and debating wheth...