music, therapy, and me

It is TME Tuesday again, and I am going to head to work - reluctantly because my bed is more inviting than the thought of leaving it to go to be around other people. That is typical for me. I like sleeping so much more than working, but working is what I need to do in order to have a bed to sleep in, so I will haul my body to my car for a day of work. (I blame President's Day for this malaise this week - I HATE Monday holidays!) I will go reluctantly into this work week. Tomorrow is a 12-hour day at work - full day of work with kids and then additional professional development after school. I have to leave early because I have my Wednesday night job to get to, but I am hoping that it will be "work on your own" time that I will make up. Anyway, today is the first work day of the week. I have about 10 minutes to write this before my time anxiety will take over and make me jumpy. That brings me to today's topic - overcoming my tendencies to not do something because I am ...

I did it. I missed an important, self-imposed deadline, and I just didn't even think about it coming up at all until after the deadline had passed and I realized that it was gone... I hate that. I hate it when I miss things, especially things that are tied to a deadline. Now, my mess up is not horrible nor is it something that will ruin me, but it did make me stop and think a bit about what types of things I have been focusing on lately. My missed deadline was a direct function of not looking in my book - where the deadline is prominently displayed on yesterday's date!! So, I sent out an email to folks last night, apologizing for my mistake and promising the completed project by tomorrow morning. That gives me a bit of breathing room, but not too much. I have a fear of letting others down - comes from being a perfectionist with a strong work ethic, I guess. I get very disappointed in myself when I miss deadlines (like I did today), even when others probably didn't notice. I...

So, I've been spending the last several weeks writing about the systems that I use, but there are LOTS of things that happen around me that are haphazard and that desperately need systematic analysis and the start of something organized. Here are the things that I want to get started...in no particular order and in no particular priority order or anything... Music Library - So, I have my songbooks located in several places around my house that are dedicated to songbooks - I know where they are, but I don't really know what is in them. When I want to find a particular song, I have to search through the most likely of books and then hope that I can find it. I have learned how to search tables of contents to make the process shorter, but I would love a database of all of my music in one place...ah, I dream that I will awaken one morning to find a perfectly indexed list of all the books that I have and all the songs contained within those books. All My Other Stuff - I make...

Dear Fellow Music Therapists, I've been inspired to write due to yet another post on one of my social media feeds. This comment was about supervising folks who display personality traits different from our own, and it started me thinking about "the Perfect Therapist." You know the one. That therapist who is running a business, juggling home responsibilities, presenting at every single conference, looks like he/she is in control of all parts of his/her life, and who makes the rest of us feel like we are wanna-bes. I know many of those types of folks and have been that type of person for others (I know that), but I've also realized that there is no such thing as "the Perfect Therapist." I think we all have expectations for ourselves that we do not live up to. At least, I know that I have these expectations for myself. When I was a new therapist, I kept hearing about the wonderful things that one peer in particular was doing - she was building a music t...

This is a repeat of a TME I've shared before, but it is a good one for today. This is one of those songs that just peps me up and makes me feel happy. Enjoy this song from Hoku. Therapeutic Music Experience Perfect Day Mary Jane Landaker, MME, MT-BC Purpose : To expand abstract thought concerning leisure activities; social interaction; musical expression; leisure skill awareness; impulse control; receptive language; expressive language Source : "Perfect Day" as written by A. Armato & T. James. Lyrics © DOWNTOWN MUSIC PUBLISHING LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Universal Music Publishing Group. Track duration: 03:29. Performed by Hoku. © 2013 TME Procedure by Mary Jane Landaker, MME, MT-BC Materials : Song recording; music listening device; electricity; lyric sheets; OPTIONAL: guitar, prepared fill-in-the-blank sheets and pencils/pens or dry erase lyric strips for word replacement Environment : Group members near to therapist...

I spend most of my life going somewhere in a bit of a hurry. Take yesterday, for example. I had a relatively leisurely morning (I woke up at the time I wanted to waken). I had time to make a lunch to take with me to work (which I left at home). I blogged, I moved around my home, and I nuzzled the cat when she sat between me and my computer. I moved myself out of the house at the usual time, but forgot the lunch I had so carefully prepared. I drove down the road at 75 miles an hour (5 miles over the speed limit - I like being a bit of a rebel, but not too much of one!), and made it to work early. I didn't want to do my documentation, but I remembered that if I didn't get it finished, I would rue that decision on Friday when I have more time for creativity and thinking. So, I did my documentation, set up the room for music therapy sessions, and sat down with my guitar. I had found an extra 45 minutes of unencumbered time! Since that almost never happens to me (I tend to ove...

I cannot seem to come up with anything to talk about today. This seems to be happening more and more lately - one of the side effects of summer for me. I get bored with everything and my brain shuts down. I've gone into my usual inspirations - Facebook, Pinterest, other places - with no success. Nothing is spurring me into thought. Here's what I will do - a trip into blog post suggestions... Here's one - Lies we tell ourselves about being a music therapist One of the things that I presented on last year at the Western/Midwestern Region conference was figuring out how to avoid things like burnout, secondary trauma, and compassion fatigue. We went through a series of different things to help us figure out how to either avoid these situations or how to get out of these situations. This led me to lie #1. Lie #1 - I will always love being a music therapist. Um, no. This is not true. As with any job, there are ups and downs. There are days I love my role as therapist, as...

When I am bored and needing to feel somewhat challenged, I sit down with some graph paper, and I design music therapy spaces. I pretend that money is absolutely no object, and I dream. I dream about spaces for large group therapy and individual therapy. I dream about observation rooms, conference areas, storage systems (boy, do I dream about storage systems!). I let my imagination go wild, and I always find myself thinking of new things to put into my dream clinic. My designs have varied during the years. I've wanted space for a single therapist and space for multiple therapists. One of these days, I will look at all of these plans and compile them into my perfect music therapy clinic. I know I will never achieve this type of perfection - I will never have the money - but it is fun to dream. What types of things would you have in your perfect music therapy clinic? Leave comments below! My clinic includes built-in storage in all clinical areas, additional shared storage cl...

This may be a short post. Be prepared. This has been a long night, and I don't really feel well, so I think I'll just put a couple of thoughts down on this blog and then go to work. I know, I know. Go to work? Yep. I have to. I have no more sick time so I have to go to work. ANYWAY! There have been several themes that have popped up in my life this week. The first is self-care. The second is perfectionism and anxiety. I don't know if Facebook is in any way linked to this blog (probably is - hello, Big Brother), but things have been popping up on my newsfeed about both of these topics.  I spent some time working through my first art journaling assignments in my e-course - The Art of Imperfection. I will be continuing. Friends have been posting links to articles, memes, and other links about these topics as well. I don't think that many people know what I am currently seeking, but they seem to be seeking the same. I think that's why they are my friends. Have...

Isn't it amazing how everything just starts to come together and that patterns are apparent when you start focusing on something important? I am on a quest to be okay with not being perfect. In the past two weeks, I've signed up for a course on The Art of Imperfection with Brene Brown, I've gathered all my materials to start, and I am reading the book, one chapter at a time. In the past two weeks, I have noticed more and more memes, news items, articles, and comments from others about perfectionism. Now, I don't know if there has been a recent upswing in these types of things in my environment or if they have been there forever and I am just more likely to notice these days. (I really suspect a combination of both.) I received a message yesterday from a friend of mine who noticed that I didn't post anything on this blog. She inquired if I was okay. This was important. It was important to me and made me realize that there are times when perfection (which I w...

Are you your own worst critic? I am. There is no one harder on me than me. When I fail at something, I cannot let it go. I feel guilty and disappointed in myself and it comes back in a flood of emotion every single time I start to get a bit anxious or overly tired. Does anyone else get this way, or is it just me? All of this is precipitated by a missed meeting yesterday. I didn't get a clue that I had missed the meeting until right before leaving for PT and my part-time job, and when I did, I was absolutely set back. The person I was supposed to meet with called me, but didn't leave a message, so I didn't even know that she was waiting for me to hook up the computer. I was supremely angry with myself and then felt guilty when I realized that I had let two other people down. I am a perfectionist. I expect perfection in myself, but allow for imperfection in others without any issues. I expect that others will not be perfect, but I insist on striving for personal perfectio...

I am the type of music listener who goes for specific songs rather than entire catalogs from music performers. I tend to find most of my favorite songs from movie soundtracks. I'll hear a snippet of a song during a movie, and then I will devote my time to finding the song and trying to decide whether I like the entire thing (or just the snippet). Most of the time, I find that I love the entire song, and then the song becomes one of my favorites. I say this in an effort to illustrate why I chose a somewhat obscure song for this Therapeutic Music Experience (TME). If you've never heard of the artist Hoku, you are missing out on some of the most timeless-type pop music of the last 20 years. Here's a TME based on her song, Perfect Day. Perfect Day Therapeutic Music Experience Mary Jane Landaker, MME, MT-BC Purpose : To expand abstract thought concerning leisure activities; social interaction; musical expression; leisure skill awareness; impulse control; recep...