music, therapy, and me

Welcome to the first frost of the 2026 Autumn season! The heater is going strong, keeping my home at my preferred temperature, and I am looking forward to seeing the frost. It makes my everyday backyard sparkle when the sunshine first rises. My backyard faces west, so I get to enjoy the look of frost for longer than my front yard keeps its layer of sparkle. I do not mind the cooler temperatures, but this always brings an autumn ick to me. I am currently struggling with sinus and breathing issues - this is usual at this time of year for me. I don't feel sick enough to go anywhere, but there will be some cold medicine in my future pretty soon just so I can continue to sit upright. I have things to do after all. I accomplished some things this week. I went to the library once and got some work finished. I saw a movie (Forgotten Island) yesterday. I cleared the sewing table off and folded the material that I want to make into some nightgowns. The plumber came and gave my system a clean...

It is 6:38 am, and there is a bird chirping loudly and repetitively outside my home. We had a thunderstorm this morning, so everything is wet and somewhat cool outside. There may be more storms in the near future, so I guess the bird is just communicating as much as possible before the next round shows up. I am feeling like I am being a slacker right now, not working, and trying my best not to engage in these feelings of uselessness and FOMO. I want to spend some time upstairs today, sorting through and cleaning up my stuff. I have storage items coming tomorrow to help with that process. I want to be able to walk around my upstairs without having to step over things. I also need to spend some time on marketing and printing out materials for Creativity Camp which will happen next weekend. I also need to take a shower and make my bed with clean sheets. Lots of things I need to do. We will see how much I actually get done today. Yesterday was spent mostly in napping. I worked a bit on one...

This is the most challenging season for me, and it makes it difficult to get motivated to do ANYTHING! I am getting ready for a large life change (retirement, here I come, kicking and screaming and trying to pretend that I know what I'm doing) that is adding stressor after stressor after stressor. My brain is struggling with all sorts of things, so I am taking out my self-care and brain sparking routines to help me get started on some creative projects. When I find myself in a creativity slump, the only thing that really works to get me feeling inspired or remotely interested in composing or drawing or making things for my music therapy clinic is to create using rules. The rules are arbitrary, made up by me, and something that I can break at any time if inspiration takes hold. I have found that my rules for creating help me break out of a stagnant state. When I am in need of some new songs, I break out my composition kit and my rules. Chance composition is the best technique for me...

It is another summer school Tuesday, and I did not sleep well - again. I am not doing well when it comes to sleeping these days. I am not really all that worried about my upcoming surgery - I don't think - but perhaps something is happening on a subconscious level that is interfering. Who knows at this point. All I know right now is that I have five groups ahead of me today.  "That client" was perfect yesterday. No issues at all in music therapy. Apparently, listening to Disney music is acceptable. I am sure it will not be acceptable to today's version of "that client." Two of the three are completely uninterested in anything I have to offer. They refuse to even sit in chairs. The entire session is a wrestling match. It is ridiculous, and I am just not looking forward to anything to do with music therapy right now. I tried to sleep last night, but it didn't happen. I could not get comfortable in my bed or my body. There are supposed to be storms in the a...

Well. My intentions to write everyday is already threatened by my summer way of doing things. I did not get up until later than usual and am sitting upstairs 9 minutes before I usually leave for work trying to make my brain work. I am struggling to do anything that makes any sense at all, and I have run out of all my sick time for this year, so I will have to get to work. I don't want to go.  "That client" is coming in today, and I am just tired of having to do therapy over screaming and tantrums. I am overwhelmed by "that client" and the response to ANYTHING I try - it is always the same - screaming, tantrum, safety assist. I am starting to dread any day where "that client" is scheduled for music therapy. Someone outside of my program suggested that I should do MORE, individualized music therapy for "that client." I flatly refused. I am not going to set myself up for significant injury by taking someone who hates music therapy for more music...

Do you ever have times in the year where you find yourself affected by many different things simultaneously? I am two days post-vacation and am missing my family members who are now safely tucked away in their own homes. I still work in a warm room, but my room is a bit cooler than it has been for sometime now. I have an itchy neck area - I think I have a rash there that I will need to treat with my old ointment. It is not currently very hot here, but the heat will be building through the weekend. I am not feeling very effective in my personal life at the moment. I do not know why I am feeling this way, but it probably has something to do with my summer SAD. I do not enjoy summer much in this area of the world, but it is what it is. I has also taken me lots of time to acknowledge that I do not like how I feel and act during the summer months. I am not doing much to counteract this as far as medication goes, but I am doing things to help me keep going through the heat and the humidity t...

Today's random number generated by the random number generator that I use is 2981. I did the calculations that I have to do to figure out which post is #2981 - June 9, 2022 , and I found that it was a post that I wrote last summer about my version of Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. You can find the post here . I am enjoying these trips back into things I have written over the years. This one is an interesting glimpse into situations that I go through every year. As it is winter right now, I am in a pretty good space as far as my depression goes. I do much better in the winter than in the summer. While the humidity happens here at the same levels, the air is easier to get in and out of my lungs. I enjoy the earlier nights, but I do miss the sunrises of the summer. I get to enjoy more sunsets during the winter. I am sitting here, reveling in my arthritic state, but I feel so much happier in the depths of winter than I do in the heat of summer. Reading over this post, I am remind...

Okay, I admit it. I am a bit obsessed with getting into a routine on how to do things - in both my personal and professional lives. It is much easier for me to make and use routines at work than it is at home which is strange since at home there is only me to coordinate and lead through routines. At work, it is co-workers, clients, and interns who are part of the routine. Summer sessions are also a bit more difficult than the regular school year because we work four days and then I get three days off in a row. It is amazing how quickly you can get accustomed to longer stretches of time off. I enjoy three days in a row that include nothing but being on my own at home. It makes getting up early on work days more difficult than it is in the regular school year when I only have one day where I do not work. This past week has been rough. I know that I always feel this way when summer temperatures and humidity arrives. I am tired - not to the bone, but through the lungs. I am taking another ...