music, therapy, and me

Yesterday started off rough. I had a breakdown on the phone with my sister on Monday evening after I had some horrible digestion issues while on the phone with my mother. (Hi, sis!) I ended up feeling very humiliated and not at all happy with myself. So, I ended my Monday in a mass of self-pity and disgust and down feelings. They continued into Tuesday morning when I woke up in pain and in a horrible mood. So, all the way to work, I was having to deal with pains that don't usually happen on the left side of my body, pains that are part of my back issues, and an intense headache. I was a mass of self-pity again, and I was wallowing as much as I possibly could. Once I got to work, I figured out that most of my problems were hormonal in nature and that made things so much better. Isn't it interesting how having an explanation for something is very helpful in shifting our attitude about our situations? In yesterday's case, as soon as the final aspect of everything manifested, I

Call me old-fashioned. I have certain expectations when it comes to the interns I accept into my program. I expect that I am approached in a professional manner from the very beginning of asking about the program all the way through the internship itself. There seems to be a disconnect between what I expect and what others want to put out into the world, but I am not thinking that my expectations are overly rigid. Would you let me know if they are? When a music therapy student is interested in being an intern at my facility, I want a personalized email. I want it to be more than "Dear Internship Director..." I want someone to take the seconds to write out my ENTIRE name. Yep, the name that I have on the National Roster IS MY NAME! Use it. Do not think that the name that I have selected to be published is not what I want to be called. Now, I understand some reluctance in using titles these days - it is difficult to figure out if a title is even something that we do in these da

I haven't read anything this week. I haven't really accomplished very much this week other than getting up each morning and moving into the world to do my job (and didn't even do that on Wednesday due to medication side effects). That is an okay thing, though. In addition to getting up and moving, I have also been working on different projects and am getting things planned out. I am 85% finished with a new Teachers Pay Teachers file for boomwhacker composition for students at a variety of music comprehension levels. I have made some smaller version that are just waiting for lamination before being used. Most of my research for this week has been related to my current project of starting to make more task boxes for the students in my school. I put together a bookshelf yesterday, and started to throw out the Styrofoam pieces before stopping myself and thinking about how we might use those pieces in task boxes. I am not entirely sold on the idea of using that stuff quite yet,

I am an idea generator. I have more ideas than I have time to execute in my regular life. When I sit down and try to accomplish my ideas, I tend to get partway through the situation before getting to a place where I have to think a bit more about things before I can proceed. While I am working on getting things put together for idea #1, several more ideas pop into my head. It is a very challenging procedure for me that often leads me into feelings of inadequacy that can, at times, overwhelm me. Since this is something that is part of my regular way of existing, I have found ways to help me record the ideas for eventual manifestation. What I really need is the opportunity to not need to go outside my house to be able to pay for things so I can putter around in my studio until things get finished up! But, alas, like everyone else in this world, I do need to work in order to pay for my dreaming... I am currently working on task boxes and activities for my clients at work. My latest idea i

This may be a bit of a short post - I have about 40 minutes before I have to leave for work today, so writing may not be my first priority. I am currently working on making task boxes for some of my clients. I have time on my hands since my interns are running some of my music therapy sessions, so I am trying to figure out ways to keep myself occupied while still providing opportunities for observation and intercession in the music therapy room, if needed. To that end, I am taking in a bunch of tools that will make my task box production a bit easier and quicker. These tools are things that I already have here at home and will assist me in finishing up projects a bit more effectively. I find that tools are essential to be a good time manager. In this case, the tools that I have available are things that will help me make file folder activities and task box pieces, but the whole idea of tools for time management and effectiveness carries over to this example as well as others that I hav

Yesterday, our President, Joe Biden, announced some student loan forgiveness amounts of money and another delay on people having to pay their payments. So many people have so many opinions about this situation. I can tell you that my opinion is that student loan forgiveness is needed at this moment but I have some emotions that are coming up with this situation. That emotion is JEALOUSY! To afford my foray into graduate study, I had to take out some student loans. I had to give up my full-time job to complete a residency requirement for my failed doctorate study, so I had to take out all the loans that I was offered in order to live. My tuition was paid for for that year, but that year only during my education. I did not graduate with my Ph.D. (long story about why, but leave it here by saying that I am not disappointed), but that one year of being a full-time student left me with lots of student debt. I spent most of my graduate study career both paying student loan payments and tuiti

I am not a music therapist who rushes to the car to fill it up with music. I just do not. When I am finished with my job, I am finished with most music. I would rather listen to a television show or a movie than a song of any type. This is something that gives me some sort of shame - as a music therapist. Should (GOBLIN!) I listen to music all the time? Shouldn't music play a HUGE role in my non-work life? Ah, bring on the goblins. I often spend most of the time trying to avoid placing shame on myself for this particular fact, but that's just something that is part of me. I love music - I really do, but I do not feel the need to immerse myself in music 24/7. I just don't want to have to spend most of my relaxation time listening to music because I just don't listen. I analyze.  When I am listening to music, I usually have a part of my brain going through some classification processes. What is the chord structure? Is this song something that my clients would respond to?

NOTE: This post is very opinionated and full of my current challenges, frustrations, and sparks of understanding. If I offend you in any way, please do not hesitate to send an anonymous comment to this blog. I do not automatically publish comments because most of the comments that I get are spam. If you want to engage me in more of a conversation about any and all of these topics, please do. While I have strong and possibly strange opinions, I am able to change those opinions when I can see the logic behind them, but I will never change if I cannot see that logic. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK... My brain is currently spinning around and around through all sorts of topics and situations. If you have ever been on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride at Disneyland, you may know what I am feeling as I go twisting and turning through all sorts of thoughts, situations, and emotions. I am thinking deeply about situations that do not directly affect me but that I have opinions about as well as all sorts of ot

It is FINALLY FRIDAY, and I am more than ready for this day to arrive! I don't know about you, but the first week of a changed schedule is always the most difficult for me. Add in my current attempt to get accustomed to a new medication, and we have the setting events for an interesting process!  Since it is Friday, I thought I would return to a title that I haven't used for a while now - Fun Friday! Here are some things that my clients (ages 5-22 with dual diagnoses) have loved - this week and in weeks past! Please note that I am not an affiliate partner with anyone who I promote, but I do receive a small part of the purchase price of anything that I post here that comes from my own Teachers Pay Teachers store - if it looks interesting, please consider purchasing your own copies for you to use. Nothing is priced very high!! Round Bells -  These are upside down in the picture. You put the blue part on the floor and the bells spin around. This has been a great instrument to inc

I spent my commute from work thinking about the question that someone posed on social media yesterday morning. There are benefits to having 45-60 minutes in the car, uninterrupted by anything other than my own thoughts. My thoughts turned towards AMTA and what I really want from a professional organization. Often, when I am in such a stew about something hypothetical, it is easier to understand what I want by thinking about what I don't want. So, here is a list of what I do not want from a professional organization... Political ANYTHING! I do not want to belong to a professional association that has any ties to any political party. I do not want to be associated with candidates or campaigns. I do not want my membership dues going to support individuals in government. (Now, just so you know, as far as I know AMTA has NEVER done this - I just want it down that this is NOT the role of a professional organization - this is the role of individuals.) If you want to support specific can

Over on social media (I know, I know, many of my posts start off this way, but you cannot deny that social media is something that affects us all in some way or another), someone asked a question. "What would it take for music therapy to become mainstream?" Ooooh, boy. I have opinions about this! Now, if you keep reading this post, keep in mind that this is a blog. Specifically, it is MY blog which means that I get to offer my OPINIONS in the way that makes the most sense to me. These OPINIONS are mine and mine alone. I do not have any financial incentives or assistance that might interfere with my opinion development - no one sponsors me or tries to influence me in any way. I am merely a music therapist who loves her choice of profession most of the time. My OPINIONS, though, matter to me - you can take them or leave them, that is up to you. If you want to engage in conversation with me about this topic, I would love to have that discussion. I want to know your OPINIONS abou

I took some time, in my new(ish) office, yesterday, to write down a TME in my database in my "finished" format. The TME is not quite finished - I need to notate the song to get things completely finished - but almost. This is the first idea that I have formalized in a long time, and it was nice to have the time and the attention to get something done. I am hoping that this continues for the next several days so I can get some TMEs finished. Writing a therapeutic music experience (TME) takes time, if you do it right. Several years ago, I decided not to publish any more new TMEs on this blog for a couple of reasons. First of all, I feel that publishing my ideas without any sort of music therapy filter could lead some people to use my ideas without understanding the tenets of music therapy. I didn't want non-music therapists to think that they could follow my procedures and be "doing music therapy." Second, I got kind of pissed off by the attitudes of some music th

Happy Monday morning, all. I am sitting in my darkened office space, thinking about what to write, and listening to the strange something that lives outside in my backyard and makes a strange sound. It is not the usual sound of a cricket or a cicada - I am very familiar with those sounds. It may be a toad, but I do not know what lives out there and makes this very interesting, very unusual sound pattern. It is just enough different that it commands my attention when I am trying to write in the morning. My back is hurting again - but is not in spasm, so I know that I can do what I need to do during my job today, as long as I don't have to stand for very long. Today is the day that everything changes for my students and co-workers - the transition program starts today and that means smaller class sizes and different behavioral health technician assignments in classrooms. We still do not have two classroom teachers, so we are trying to figure out how to maintain a schedule that has pl

It is Synthesis Sunday, and I am getting myself ready to start music therapy sessions with my clients again. I spent most of the summer not doing much with clients due to two interns who were covering my caseload. Intern #33 graduated, so I get a bit of time as therapist until intern #35 takes over. Intern #34 is still doing the rest of the groups but will graduate in October, so I will get those clients back at that point. I am looking forward to having a chance to be therapist for a bit. I will be leading one group tomorrow afternoon. It is a group of tweens and teenagers that usually have significant issues with peer relationships, so I think we may focus a bit on social emotional learning in these next several weeks. We will do some teamwork, some social songs, and some emotional awareness TMEs. We are going to start with "I'm Not the Only Person In This Room." Since we are going back into a five day school week, my schedule is changing back to spreading out our class

It is that time of year again. It is the start of the parade of first day of school pictures on Facebook, and I am heading back to work after a week and a couple of days off. It is full moon day (it is shining brightly outside my window right now), and you will not be getting a first day picture from me. I don't often take selfies, and I have already taken my limit for the year getting my passport application ready. I was able to wake up before the alarm this morning. Good sign. I am up and writing at 5am. Good sign. The moon is gorgeous. Good sign. I am going to go around the house picking up things that I will need in the next couple of days. I will be going to my room to clean up a bit and then welcome the next intern to the music therapy program. I am not quite ready to return to the daily grind of work and supervising and all that, but work is inevitable, so it is futile to resist. I wrote a bit ago about a blog post that I found on the difference between being disinterested

Well, break is almost finished, and my back is hurting. It hasn't slipped into crisis mode yet, but I am pretty much dreading the inevitable at this point. I have to get into my exercises to help strengthen my musculature. Of course, that does nothing for the pain right now. At least I can get out of having to throw people down on the mats tomorrow afternoon. It may also get me out of some of our ALICE training tomorrow morning - at least any of the running parts. I am thinking that this is just going to be the way I do things from now on, and I am not really all that happy about it, but I have to get used to this way of life, I guess. Fortunately, I can do most of my essential job skills without having to move much, but I can't do all of them. I have worked out a compromise with my school and the facility that I work in about what will happen with music therapy when I am incapacitated. Apparently I was the center of several contentious discussions - that I was not allowed to b

This is a later than usual post because I have been involved in a hunt for my birth certificate all over downstairs. It has been unsuccessful, but I did find an alternative, so I can still get my passport renewed tomorrow as scheduled. This is day two before I head back to break, and I am feeling like I am getting some things done. For example, I made an appointment to get my new passport BEFORE I absolutely have to! This is one of my 2022 quests, so I am feeling accomplished on this day. Of course, I still have to take a photo and get myself to the downtown post office to get this finished, but I am ready! Of course, none of this has ANYTHING to do with today's topic about Therapeutic Music Experiences (TMEs)! So, let's get to the topic at hand... I got distracted by my mini printer - my sister gave me a thermal printer a couple of years ago, and I FINALLY figured out the app needed to make it work the right way. I have already figured out my Sprocket, but I can't find my

It is Monday, which means Gandalf gets to do her favorite thing - lick a graham cracker.  It is Monday, which means that MJ gets to do one of her favorite things - talk about supervising music therapy interns as part of her role in this profession. One of the most difficult parts of this role is being a gatekeeper to my clients and to my music therapy self. I do not automatically accept someone to my internship if I have an opening. I do not have to take an intern, ever, so I can afford to be choosy about who comes to work with me and with my clients. There are times when I do not actively seek an intern to be with my clients. There are times when I just want to be therapist and not have to be mentor/coach. The problem for me comes when I have applicants for a specific time that I do not feel will be a good match for me or for my program. Over the years that I have worked with interns, I have found that one of the most important indicators of whether they will be able to work with me i

It is time to start my back-to-school blathering again. I have already found my word of the school year - Transform - mainly because my school is in the process of changing every single thing that happens as part of the program in one way or another. Time to figure out what types of things I will strive towards this year in my main professional endeavor. I keep my full-time job separate from my part-time pursuits as much as I can. I have two journals - one for my full-time job and another one for everything else. My everything else journal is my Star Wars themed journal, and I get to do some drawing and some exploring of a galaxy far far away in that book. I recently added a sticker to the cover (from a packet of stickers that I have been looking for since I moved in November!), and I get all sorts of joy from the process of decorating that journal. My full-time work journal functions very differently, but I am trying to think of ways to strengthen how I use it to help me expand my cre