music, therapy, and me

Oh, dear.  My to-do lists are getting longer and longer every moment as I sit in my office and look around all the stuff that is piled in somewhat organized piles waiting to be placed in other places. I am experiencing a bit of overwhelm right now. I have already started a load of dishes, had breakfast, dithered around and around, figured out driving times for an upcoming trip, and am now sitting down to write this post. I tend to get bogged down in planning rather than the doing process - especially when it comes to cleaning and clearing! I want to organize, but I tend to stuff things rather than take the time to organize. So, today will be another experiment. I have nine plastic totes - the bigguns - that I am going to use better. My most recent water accident has shown me that plastic totes are better than the boxes, so things are going into plastic totes. I want to label what is in each tote as I put things in. I have some 4X6 index cards that I will use. I can also scan those ...

Good morning. After two days of seriously angry attitudes and just feeling like everyone and everything outside of my home was stupid and set to make me even angrier, I think I am coming out of the mood - we will see, though. I haven't left home since Friday afternoon, so I am not sure if my anger issues have receded or just been unchallenged. Today's foray into the world will let me know if I am actually doing better or not. My random number generator spat out post #1711 for consideration today. I went back into the archives and found this post from December 15, 2017 - titled "...The 'Must Do' Rather Than the 'Want To Do' List. "  I am always a bit amused when I read past posts because they remind me that I am always struggling and striving to grow in many areas. This post tickles my fancy because it reminds me that I try really hard to be organized and to get things finished up in a logical manner but... I haven't used my "want to do" ...

It is halfway through this season of festivities and stuff, and I am tired of it all. I went to do some laundry (because my room is currently 60 degrees and not getting warmer during the day so kids are bundling up in the blankets that I had my facility buy since they are not fixing the HVAC system AT ALL), and the COTAs were painting applesauce and cinnamon ornaments with students and they put on Christmas music. Now, I do not listen to much Christmas music during this season because it is everywhere and I get tired of it all. So, I was hanging out in the laundry area listening to this music and watching my students either protest or become so enthralled that they were not doing anything they were asked to do. I have three more holiday obligations to go before my holiday can start and I can flood myself with Christmas music. I will be able to listen without thinking about all the things that I need to do in the next 10 days because those 10 days will be OVER! I enjoy Christmas music, ...

I have three more weeks before my next intern arrives at the facility to do their training with me and my clients. Three more weeks. That's not much time, especially because it is the end of our regular school year. There are so many things to do before #36 arrives, but most of them have nothing to do with music therapy or the internship program. I have started my "end-of-the-year" post-its with categories of "internship," "Talent Show," "cleaning," and "other."  I was able to knock off a bunch of tasks on Friday - I wanted to rearrange the intern office/storage room to accommodate the new desk. The effort spent on those tasks led to my intense pain on Friday afternoon, but I moved the storage cabinet and the desk where I wanted them to end up. I labeled all sorts of things, and felt like I had made some progress.  This week's planning/prep time will be taken up with Talent Show preparation (so far, no need to move the drum set ...

Friends, I am currently trying very hard to focus on the now rather than the near. What do I mean by that? Well, I am getting caught up in thinking about things that I want to be doing without looking at the things that I need to be doing to get to the things that I want to be doing... There you go. I find it really easy to lose myself in future planning while ignoring all the things that I have to do that are right in front of my face. For example, I want to get going on my craft studio but I have so many unpacked boxes that need to be sorted out before I can find the things that I need for crafting. That reminds me, I have to contact the movers - and I figured out what happened the last time with the movers and nearly did it again! Ugh!! What a mess! Anyway, if I can get the rest of my stuff over here on the 11th, I can get the apartment carpet cleaned and ready to check out before the end of the calendar year. I need to get my stuff organized a bit and ready to be transported over h...

Me in my almost house! After a long, busy weekend, I am heading back into my regular work routine. It is 4:24 am, and I am sitting here, gazing at my blogging post wondering what in the world I might have to say to myself at this moment. My home is a mess because I have started packing for the move that I will be doing next month. The to-do list is getting longer and longer as I try to sort through all the things that I will need to do during the next 30 days. I have my checklists to go through and get myself organized with, but I am also feeling a bit overwhelmed about stuff. When I get this way, I tend to try to compartmentalize myself a bit more than I usually do, and it gets very overwhelming very quickly. I am also a bit hesitant to commit to leaving my apartment and to make arrangements for things like utilities because of my parents' experiences losing houses after offers had been accepted and all that. So, my music therapy routine is a bit off kilter because my life routine...

This week ended well - with a sigh rather than a storm or a whimper. While I was exhausted when I got home last night, it was a good type of exhausted; the type where you feel like the day was spent in good things. I fell asleep early and then woke up early (around 1am-ish). While I am still tired and would LOVE to be back in bed, that is not going to happen, so I am sitting here at 6:06am watching the sun start to lighten the sky. It was stormy this morning, but it seems to have quieted down significantly. There are (officially) 10 more work days until the end of the regular school year. That number does not include weekend days, but I do, so there are actually 13 days left until the school year is finished, and I start my first summer break. I will have another one in July, and that will be the break where I "vacation." This break is for decluttering and organizing and being creative in my home. I am looking forward to it all the more because I am planning to go to be with ...

  Blog post - take two. I started writing about an hour ago, but nothing I wrote made sense to my muddled brain. There is nothing wrong with me other than a bit of grief and lots of things on my to-do list that have to be finished in the next two days before I head back to work. I am having some difficulty focusing on any task for more than about three minutes before my brain shuttles me off to something else, so this post may not make a bunch of sense. It is difficult for me to focus right now. I'm not entirely sure why. So, when this happens to me, I rely on my book of things to do. Here are the things that I have to finish today - if I get nothing else done, these things need to happen... produce Sunday School video upload said video fold laundry put laundry in closet strap fingers 3 more times (already did one) finish CBMT application for Monthly Music Therapy Meets! cook something eat drink as much water as possible I have started the laundry. The last load has just finished d...

This has been a "meh" kind of week. I had a 12 hour day on Wednesday (which NEVER end up being 12 hours for anyone other than me because of my need to be earlier than ANYONE ELSE) which always shake me up emotionally and physically. I get overtired and end up sick EVERY TIME! This also coincided with corn harvest season which magnifies my allergies exponentially, so I am tired and sneezing through my heavy duty medications. Add in some almost summer like temperatures, and this girl was not entirely happy with her surroundings. All setting events for me, but interestingly, I was not pulled down by all of this in the past week. There are times when this type of incident stacking just cause me to fold, but not right now. This has led to some introspection. Why am I okay with these things right now when all of these things happening two months ago would have sent me to my bed?? I have no clear answers, but I am glad that I am doing better at the moment. That brings me to today...

I am back at work - with TWO interns again - trying to get myself accustomed to working with company in a modified schedule where my job responsibilities have shifted yet again. Don't get me wrong, now. I am so glad that things have progressed to the point where we are able to open up our facility to volunteers (like my interns) and to family members of our clients (who visit in the outside areas of our facility at the moment), but it signifies another significant change in how we do things. I am not a person who does well with significant and immediate change. When I have to figure out changes in my own life, I take some time to weigh the pros and cons of the situation, consider as many options as possible, and then I make my change. Once I make a decision, I rarely second guess it because I feel like I have considered as much as I can and can move forward on a path that works for me. This pandemic has shattered my ability to make choices for myself - mainly because it was not per...

I am going into work on a regular Friday!! I am going to work a regular Friday!! Today is a regular Friday! Why all this enthusiasm for going to work?? Why am I emphasizing a regular Friday? Well, readers, for the past two weeks, our Fridays have been inclement weather days which means that I have had to do extra music therapy groups for our residents. They still have to come to school on snow days because we only have the school staff available to coordinate their care on those days. So, I trudge through the ice and snow (when I can) to go down and do music therapy on those days - sessions that are completely different from our regular therapy - these sessions are more geared towards energy expression and fun than our usual sessions because, hello, SNOW DAY! Most of my students live at the facility full time. It is not something that they choose - they have to be there. Since they don't get much choice in whether they come to school when the rest of the world gets to stay ...

This is a busy month for me. Between my church responsibilities and my holiday work responsibilities and the things that I put upon myself, I am booked pretty much solid for the next four days and then for the two weeks after that. I have to work a 12-hour day at work today, a product release tomorrow (how did it already get to be the 4th??), a CMTE on Saturday (check out the link - it is VERY affordable!!), corralling kids into the semblance of a Christmas program on Sunday morning, and then a Blue Christmas service to help lead on Sunday afternoon. Do you feel sorry for me yet? OF COURSE NOT, because we are ALL in the SAME BOAT!!! Next week, I have another 12 hour work day (ugh!) and a ten hour recording session for a CMTE I am offering through my own business. Oh, and all the other job responsibilities that go on all the time - you know, documentation, session strategizing, and working with clients. I feel like I am pretty well organized, however. I have some lists for some of...

My to-do list is getting really long and my computer dashboard has many post-it notes (color-coded, of course) with many different little checklists on it. I have one to remind me that I have to finish two CMTE proposals for submission for an organization that I work for and then start to market my own CMTE presentation that is happening in December. I have split up my marketing strategy into nine tasks that will be repeated with each course that I create and offer to others. I am trying a new way to run registration this time around, so there are some things to investigate before it goes live tomorrow. I also have home chores to do (because they NEVER go away), and a lunch with a good friend of mine. I have three packages to mail out to folks, so a trip to the post office is on the list of to-do's and I think that's about it. I feel like I can finish most of the things that I need to do today, and that is a good feeling. I don't always feel like I can do what needs to be...

I have recently been through several business coaching courses, some music therapy focused, some not, and the common themes of all of them are future planning and focusing efforts towards getting to that future. These are things that I feel comfortable with in the music therapy world, but not so much in the business world that I am trying to immerse myself in at the moment. (Isn't it interesting that I have such a block when it comes to business and yet do the same exact things in my clinical work - why don't I think of that as business?? It's my business!! I digress - have to get back to the topic at hand...) I have a vision of what I want to do with this part of my music therapy life, and I know what I need to do to get started, but I am not finding it easy to fit in my big plans with my everyday life, so days like this one are very productive and very few and far between. I woke up about an hour later than I usually do (go me!), and I sat down to start blogging. It...

I have a twelve hour day at work today. For some reason, my administrators like to schedule long hours after school for training purposes and to get our monitoring finished for the quarter. For me, as a non-IEP based music therapist who has no monitoring, this type of day is simply full of other stuff to do - including catching up with the notes that I haven't finished (yet) and talking to my intern about various and sundry topics - sometimes our talk is about music therapy things, sometimes it's about the time my brother set fire to the bathroom. It has been a long time since I've attended one of these for the entire time. I used to have a part-time job on Wednesday evenings, but we have changed that job to Thursdays to accommodate one of my faithful choristers who has a Wednesday night class. So, I no longer have an excuse to skip out at 5pm. I have to stay until the bitter end... So, knowing that this is going to be a very long day, I am planning to leave my house la...

I am glad that my to-do list never really gets finished. There is something a bit comforting about always having something to get done. Why is this coming up in my brain right now? I've been singing a song about setting goals. My intern, #24, wrote the song last year at this time. I know that because the sheet music that I have for the song references this transition from August to September. We are using the song to help students make personal goals, so I am thinking lots about my own personal goals (and sharing the ones that are relevant to my clients). Some of my students are writing their goals down on paper. Others are verbalizing those goals to the entire group. We are discussing the fact that goals have smaller parts to them. For example, the goal of "going home" includes using coping skills and being safe as part of the expectations before folks can get to their next place. As I am facilitating this particular TME, I have many different thoughts that go thro...

I am starting the only full week of my Fall Break, so things are firmly settled into vacation mode as of NOW! I have decided to spend most of my break time working on a small business challenge (I referred to this a couple of posts ago...), and trying not-to-do any stressing about what I "should" be doing and not purchasing any type of school supplies (because I already have MORE than I need). I've managed to go to the Back to School displays at both Target and Walmart without purchasing anything but post-it notes (the one thing that I did need). I reached my reasonable post-it note purchase limit, so I have 10 days of possible temptation to work my way through before I am back to school! I finished the laundry yesterday (including the bedding!) and the dishes are about 60% finished as of this writing. I am getting ready to do things like vacuum and organize and re-do some things. I organized my paper stash yesterday, so it is now arranged in rainbow color order (ahh)...

I have three days left before the end of our extended school year session, so I am starting my to-do lists for the upcoming break. So far, the list is more specific things that need to be located rather than tasks. I need to find the HP ink box with the color cartridge. I've found the one that has the recyclable old cartridges, but I cannot find where I put the new one. The other thing that I need to locate (at the moment, at least) is the rolls of stamps I bought a time ago. I think my to-do list this time around will be more of a "treasure" hunt than a task list. That may be the way to go this break. I often make a long list of tasks that I simply do not do, so I end up being disappointed and disgusted with myself because I "SHOULD" be doing many other things. I think my running to-do list this break will be things that I need to find - things I know I have somewhere, but that I need to find in order to do other things - like mail letters, print out photos...

Today is a day off from work. During our Extended School Year, we have school from Monday through Thursday, and we have Fridays off. During the summer, I have the luxury of three day weekends - something I really enjoy. During the rest of the year, I have one day weekends, so three days is a mini-break every week. I love this schedule and would love to have it all the time (I've tried to figure it all out, and it doesn't work for our contracts...). Anyway, today is a day away from work, but it is not a day of rest. Today is the day that everything has to happen. I have a new washer and dryer set coming sometime between 8:30 and 10:30, the new cat sitter comes to check us out at 11:00, and I have lots of laundry to do (because of the need for the new washer and dryer) as well as about seventeen errands to do as well. Everything happens today. I've spent this past week getting back into the routine of working. I arrived early every day (not good for me or my morning rou...

Last week, my randomly selected song for this next series of Song Conversion Sunday posts was one that sent me into some deep thinking about culture and cultural appropriation and that has challenged me to think a bit differently about the music that I have on my iPod and how I use that music. Now, to start all this off, I am not an expert on culture, cultural appropriation, cultural misappropriation, or anything other than my own experiences. My own cultural experiences are that of middle-class, caucasian America. I am a woman, I prefer the pronouns "she" and "her," and I do not have to spend much time thinking about cultural misappropriation because my cultural background seems to be prevalent in the place where I live. I have never really thought too much about whether the music that I use in sessions is something that I'm taking from another culture and shaping it into something other than what it was intended for originally. I guess this is something to...