music, therapy, and me

Every year at this time, my stress level climbs to extreme levels. It is entirely due to my involvement in the Online Conference for Music Therapy, and it is a labor of love that I know will take over my life for some time and then be done for another year. Let me make this clear - IT IS MY CHOICE TO DO THIS JOB AND TAKE ON THIS STRESS! It is also the time of year when everything has to happen all at once, so I end up getting more stress because I have to fit all this in with everything else that is going on. Again, this is MY CHOICE and MY CHOICE only. Due to this scheduled stress ramp-up every single year, I know that it is time for a bit of self-care and over consideration for myself. I can't PROVE a correlation between my level of health and my overly stressed week, but it happens that I get sick every time this conference comes around - bronchitis, allergy stuff, fevers, etc. It seems pretty close to being a correlation, but I cannot prove it. This year, when my throat...

All of my plans have been completely upended in the past month due to various health issues and hospitalizations and days off, so nothing has been happening the way I like to plan it all. (Cue the guilt shivers going up my spine.) Seriously, though, this past month has been a struggle, and December seems to be the same - full of struggles for me. Right now, I'm very much stuck on an emotional roller coaster ride, and most of the ride is downhill. This has affected everything that I've been trying to do lately. I was fine last week because I didn't have to go to work. I was able to sleep when I needed to sleep and could be away from people. I found some of my missing creativity and interest in things. Now, I am back to work, back to work issues, and my calendar is filling up with all sorts of things that I have to get finished. Meanwhile, my emotions are sending me into patterns that I am familiar with but that I don't like at all. So, that explains why my Tuesdays hav...

I had every intention of reading the next chapter in my current music therapy reading yesterday, but I didn't get that done. I did finish one prayer shawl, start another, write my thank you notes to my family members, go shopping for groceries and marked down holiday stuff, blog, and watch lots of television. I swear, I will get back into that reading - I am very interested in how it all turns out - but I am going to take my time. Today, however, I already have a long to-do list. I will be going to my church job to celebrate Epiphany (I know, it was yesterday, but we haven't spoken about it yet), and then I'll come home to make some cards for our War game next week. After that, I am going to see The Last Jedi again. We'll see if I can make it through the movie without crying this time around, but I am taking my tissues just in case. At some point, I will start to read my book again. I am interested in learning more about Winnicott's theories of psychology and h...

I have a problem. It's not a major issue as far as life goes, but it is coloring everything I do lately. I'm not interested. Have you ever had a time when you just weren't interested in what you had to do? Now, I'm still interested in my clients, but the other stuff is boring me. I would rather sit and listen to music for my upcoming theme (Future/Dreams/Occupations) than do my documentation. I'm not interested in cleaning my office because I am too busy organizing my sensory closet (it looks BEAUTIFUL!!). I haven't spent much time in my administrative duties because I am too wrapped up in my creation process. This could be a problem. I know that putting off my documentation is something that will get me in the end. Documentation has to be done, so the list of classes that need to be finished is growing rather than shrinking. I will have to tackle that list specifically this morning and tomorrow as well in order to catch up. Since I chose to put off th...

I have yet another confession to make. I started to read my chapter on Friday, and then, realizing that it was Friday, put the book down because I still had one more day before I needed to write. Then, I blithely went on my way through Friday and Saturday, not thinking any more about reading my current book. Somehow, I put the book someplace, and now I'm not sure where it is. So... Please indulge me (yet again), as I make excuses for not doing something that I said I would do. The nice thing about making my own to-do lists is that I can change things with a modicum of guilt. I will get back to my current reading, and I already have the next text lined up. Anyway - excuses are now over. I have spent the week engaged in synthesizing information gained through conference attendance and training. My brain has been full lately, but things are cooking and getting formed into ideas and strategies. As it is just about time to get back to my actual work, it's a good thing that I a...