music, therapy, and me

In one week, I will be welcoming intern #36 to my internship program. For the 36th (actually, the 37th time because there was that emergency placement that completely flaked out and "forgot" to tell me that she was not coming after all...) time, I am getting jittery about opening up my job and my professional life to another person. I get nervous about all of this every single time - will the intern have a good experience? Will the intern actually like me? Will they love my students the way I want them to love my students? Will the intern learn what they need to learn to be a competent music therapist? I spend so much time in this worry rocking chair that it is just a plain old mess. Each time a new intern comes to my program, I second-guess myself. This time around, I am changing up lots of different things, so the second-guessing is just plain old happening - on all sorts of levels. Now, I have put some significant changes into how I train interns into play, and that is pla...

Today is the day we start our Extended School Year (ESY). We have four weeks of school before another week off and then three weeks to finish up the rest of ESY. It is also the day we start our new schedules including three new groups and new start/stop times. Of all the administrative tasks that music therapists face, I think that scheduling is one of the most difficult. I'm lucky. I only have to schedule for me. Some of my friends have to schedule many therapists. I think I would like to have that sort of challenge because scheduling is a puzzle for me. It is a very large logic puzzle, and I enjoy those types of challenges. Of course, I haven't had to coordinate the schedules of more than three therapists at once, so facing scheduling for many more therapists may not be as much fun, but I am thrilled by the idea of the challenge. Scheduling fulfills several of the things that I enjoy in life. I get to color-code things (so I can see different aspects easily). It is a puzz...

Yesterday, I awoke at 5:50am - two hours later than I usually awaken. Needless to say, I started the day in panic mode and had to get going in a rush to get to work when I wanted to get to work. I am usually leaving for work at 5:50 am, not just waking up. I made it to work when I wanted to get there and was able to go through the rest of the day without feeling that panic that usually sticks around me when I am late for something...anything... For me, tardiness is an unforgivable curse in myself. I am not as insisting about it in others as I am in myself. I cannot abide being late. That one guest that shows up at the time on the invitation when you are still getting ready for the party? Yep. That's me. I have learned over the years that it is better for the hostess if I stay in the car and wait until I can see another guest than to ring the doorbell at 6:59 by myself. Isn't it interesting how some ideas and expectations are difficult to tolerate in yourself? I can't ab...

It is time to go back to work. For the last month, I have been at home recovering from ACL surgery due to a work incident. I had surgery at the beginning of December, and I have been at home ever since. It's been a bit strange not to be in my music therapy routine every day, but my music therapy routine has changed so dramatically since the incident that this change has only been a bit weird rather than life-changing. (That part was the incident itself. It's amazing how much a broken ligament can change what you are able to do for yourself. Anyway...) Blah, blah, blah. Today is my return to my job responsibilities. It is an inservice day, so I will probably be sitting in lots of meetings that have little to no relevance to my job as a music therapist but that I still have to attend. This is a good way to get back into routines as I can take a little bit of time to review admissions and discharges, make plans for how I will run music therapy sessions without lifting more t...

I FINALLY have a full week of music therapy ahead of me. It's been a long time since I was able to have a full week of music therapy sessions in a space dedicated to music therapy. I am nervous about this. Funny, hunh. A therapist with 22 years of professional experience being nervous about running a schedule chock full of music therapy for her clients? Strange. I've been awake for several hours now, thinking about how I am going to arrange the clients who want to have adaptive lessons. That's the thing currently interrupting my sleep. Who do I put with whom? Do I have enough time in my schedule to accommodate all of these kids? Will my schedule fit with their schedules? Is there enough space for us all?   As these questions keep running through my head, I am struck by how ridiculous it is to have this type of thought pattern after all these years and after all this time. I know it will be fine. I will find a schedule that will work. Kids will be happy to play the b...