music, therapy, and me

I am struggling this morning with the return of grief. I was able to think and miss and mourn my baby for a bit without tears, but they came back as soon as I got up - I am not sure why that is. I am moving from moment to moment at this time, catching sight of one of my curls out of the corner of my eye and thinking that it is Bella coming to see what I am doing, then remembering that she is gone, and taking the time to cry about it. Most of my gifts this year were cat-related, so looking at those things bring tears. I still love cats, but mine is gone, and that hurts right now. Even though this has happened, I still go on, and there are things that need to be done that are not related to my Belle at all. Tomorrow, I return to my Occupational Therapist to do more finger exercises. My fingers are very stiff and it hurts to bend them, but I am doing so. I am trying hard to keep to my regime of stretching them in specific ways four or five times a day, but each time is more painful. I nee...

Do you remember all the posts that were coming across social media about how rough 2019 was for many of us and how much we were looking forward to the new start that was 2020? I do, and I long for those naive days when 2020 seemed to be a big step forward into life. Little did we all know that 2020 would be what it is now. Since it is now July and quarter three, I've been sitting down to do some things that I do pretty much every quarter. I sit down to make goals for myself and evaluate my progress on the goals for the previous quarter. This quarter also coincided with filling up my old bullet journal, so all of this planning and evaluation is happening in my new journal - the one I'm designing for myself. What have I learned from doing this exercise?? I am great at establishing goals but LOUSY at working towards them at all! I always have really sound and appropriate goals written down for myself, but I rarely make any progress on them at all. I am constantly making grandiose ...

Today's post started off as a ramble about forms and structure and my messy house, but I decided that it was not really all that great or even interesting at all, so it has gone the way of many of my posts - back to the ether, remembered only by me, and that memory fleeting. I've decided to do a "Day in the Life" post. If you are unfamiliar with these types of posts, it is simply a post that describes my day - I'll take yesterday, for example. I woke up really early yesterday morning and sat down to write my blog, play my morning video games, and organize my thoughts. I set my intentions for the day, and then took my shower and moved out into the world. I got to work VERY early (6:30ish) and arranged my day. I led and co-led three sessions yesterday (good stuff - I LOVE being therapist and not just supervisor). I also watched my senior intern lead two sessions and co-led with her (we haven't done that for a very long time!!). It was a pretty good thera...