music, therapy, and me

It is Thursday. I am trying really hard to be thoughtful today. I spent time yesterday involved in a very loud drumming group with a bunch of very cooperative students who responded to the iso-principle in front of the principal exactly as I hoped they would. Everyone got a drum when they entered the room. We drummed loudly and enthusiastically until we tired and then engaged in active mood vectoring until everyone was happy and content and quiet! The principal got called out of my session after 20 minutes, but that is the longest time that my recent administrators have spent in my room, observing my music therapy, in about 15 years! He was complimentary when I saw him in the hallway later. I always approach these formal evaluations with a bit of bemusement. I have never had a supervisor who was a music therapist. I have had three out of my seven supervisors who have worked with other music therapists so had a smidgen of knowledge about what music therapy is supposed to be. For most of...

I woke up at the usual time (around 3am), wasted some time on social media (TikTok is addictive for me), showered, and I am now sitting here, thinking about what I am going to write about on this Wednesday.  My boss surprised me with the announcement that it is time for my formal evaluation (happens every three years) and asked when I would like for him to observe. I offered the four remaining sessions that I have this week that are mine alone (translation: My intern isn't running her TMEs in these sessions). He selected my 10am group - a bunch of late adolescents with significant involvement in their developmental concerns. I am nervous - a little - but more about whether he will "get" what I do with kids or whether he will be like his predecessor who really didn't care at all. In fact, the last time I had one of these, the principal didn't even bother to come and observe - she just used the notes she took in the minimal observation that she did the three years b...

I am relegated to being an observer in music therapy these days. My junior intern has taken over full responsibility for her caseload and my senior intern has two weeks left of her time with us. It is my time to observe and be an evaluator rather than a therapist. This switch from being therapist to being a mentor/observer/evaluator is one of the essential roles of supervising music therapist, but it is the most difficult for me. I love being a music therapist - it is what keeps me interested in this profession after 26 years - and being the person in the corner who is always writing things down is not my preferred role. I want to be leading the groups and the individual sessions, but that's not my role at the moment. My role is to watch. Now, do not fret for me, friends. I do not have an intern for April or for June, so I will get to do therapy for a long and extended period of time coming up after Spring Break. I enjoy interns, but I don't actively recruit for my open p...

Yesterday, our BCBA guy came to observe me during a music therapy group. He's been at the facility since October and presented on a "school-wide program" that he had started that was not truly "school-wide" back in January. I got a bit frustrated by the attitude that something encompassed the entire school but did not include the entire school. He came into my room on Monday, during lunch while I was eating ravioli and watching my documentation television show (long story), to talk for "a couple of minutes." He stayed for 20. Yesterday, he arrived for one of my therapy sessions to count interactions and see what was going on in music therapy. After the session, we talked for an additional 20 minutes about his current data collection strategy and how music therapy does not fit. Now, since I left my internship many years ago, I have not been evaluated by a music therapist. I have had no information about whether my skills are appropriate as a therapis...

I admit it, I really don't like Monday holidays. I spent most of yesterday in a fog, trying to remember who I was supposed to see when, and I almost convinced myself that one group of students, sitting in front of me, was not the right group. I didn't say anything, however, because I figured that someone else would come in and correct the situation if I was right (I wasn't). I realized, during the ride home, that I completely forgot one of my pull-out sessions yesterday. Just completely blanked out on that one session. I did do the other seven sessions that I had planned for yesterday, but I feel bad about missing the one session. I much prefer Fridays off to Mondays off. When there are Monday holidays, I spend the rest of the week trying to catch up. With Friday holidays, I can do my regular routine without making changes to what I am doing and who I am seeing. I admit it (and it shouldn't be much of a surprise to folks who read this blog), I am creature of habit...

Ugh. Yesterday's sessions started with a headbutt to the nose which caused my nose to bleed off and on for about 45 minutes, led to tenderness, and the start of some bruising. It also led to worker's compensation forms, questioning from my dad, and lots of compulsive looks in mirrors to stare at my nose. The question that continues to plague me is, "Has my nose ALWAYS curved to the left like that?" Do we ever really talk about the marks that clients can make on us? I work with kids who have failed in every other education setting that they've been in. They tend to strike with hands, fists, and heads before thinking. They seem to have no awareness of what their actions do to others. Some of them do this out of a need for survival - they were taught that hurting others was the way to get something for you that meant that you didn't have to do something that scared you. Some of them do this because they can - that's the situation with the client yesterday...

I admit, I can be the person who just stares at strangers when out in public. I prefer it when I am outside and can watch others from behind my Dollar Tree sunglasses, but I am that person. I observe. I spent the morning at my local Firestone shop getting the tires rotated and the oil changed in my car. Then, I went to the Dollar Tree and shopped a bit. I had a chance to observe other human beings interacting with each other. I love the opportunity to watch people interact. Today, in the hour I spent with the folks at the tire store, I saw interactions that ranged from the familiar to the friendly. The front office folks were friendly to all of us, but there were definitely some folks that had more of a relationship formed with customer and staff. Those folks were greeted by name, joshed around with a bit, and greeted with a clap on the shoulder. The rest of us were greeted with a smile, a friendly greeting, and some light conversation about our cars. After my car was finished, I...