music, therapy, and me

Well, it is Wednesday. This day used to be the exact center of my week. I had as many sessions ahead as I did behind me when I reached Wednesday, but that is not the way things are now. Now, Wednesday means that I have finished 10 sessions and have 11 sessions ahead of me. It is almost the middle of my therapy week, but not quite. I have five sessions on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. I have four sessions on Thursdays, and two sessions on Fridays. It's not a perfect schedule for me, but it is what I have to work with, so I do it. This schedule is much better than the one where session times were staggered throughout the day - that one just scrambled my brain for the year we had to do it. No session ended on the hour or the half hour. They do now because it was just too confusing to do a staggered schedule. There are some things that we do for the benefit of ourselves, and getting the schedule back onto a system of switching on the hour and the half hour was for the staff rather...

Yesterday was a challenging day. Not because of clients - they were just what I expect from my clients - but the staff and the universe conspired against me - AGAIN! I was called to the principal's office to discuss an event that happened during my Tuesday sessions. I have a client who is targeting me and new staff who do not understand that the reason that he is targeting me is to get attention from a preferred staff member who is not in the session anymore - for some reason unknown to the teachers in this school. When the preferred staff member arrives, this client will stop engaging in targeting me and will sit next to the preferred staff member. I have requested that this staff member stop engaging with the client during his outbursts and instead attend to all the students who are engaging appropriately. I have asked this staff member over and over again to not reinforce the attacks by paying attention to the client. Anyway, this client attacked me on Tuesday - hit me in the fa...

One of the modules I offer for free to interns is one on Crucial Conversations. It was suggested by an anonymous intern quite a while ago as something that would be valuable to other interns - basically, how to talk to someone when you are in a conflict of some sort. We talk about conflict resolution, active listening, and attempting to remain rational rather than emotional. I am going to have a crucial conversation today (I hope). Scheduling for next year has turned into a hot mess. We are adding another classroom, so things will have to change, but everyone is having hissy fits about changing ANYTHING! I am going to engage in my own hissy fit today because I am tired of being the only one who has to change to accommodate the demands of other people. I am not a person who enjoys confrontation. I tend to go straight into my defensive mode of crying when I have to talk about things that affect my emotions. Anger is expressed through crying. Frustration is expressed through crying....

Today is the day I start off with my new ideas about how to work with large groups of students who all have significant needs. I will introduce the first center to them today - Explore. We are going to make water bottle shakers at the first center this week. I want every student to go through the center during these first days in order to get all the staff members trained on how to fill out the data I want/need. I have confidence that the clients will be able to do these centers, but I am not so sure about the staff members. I am nervous. Not as nervous as I get when a new intern starts, but more nervous than usual on a Monday morning. My staff members are the unknown variable in this equation aimed at reducing therapy group size, increasing opportunities for attention, and offering unique music experiences on a weekly basis. If I can make this something that they can understand and just do as a matter of habit, the entire program will work. If not, it will all go down into the dumps...