TME Tuesday: Fighting My Perfectionistic Tendencies to Create

TME Tuesdays: Box with abstract background design including the following text: www.musictherapyworks.com; TME Tuesdays.
It is TME Tuesday again, and I am going to head to work - reluctantly because my bed is more inviting than the thought of leaving it to go to be around other people. That is typical for me. I like sleeping so much more than working, but working is what I need to do in order to have a bed to sleep in, so I will haul my body to my car for a day of work. (I blame President's Day for this malaise this week - I HATE Monday holidays!) I will go reluctantly into this work week. Tomorrow is a 12-hour day at work - full day of work with kids and then additional professional development after school. I have to leave early because I have my Wednesday night job to get to, but I am hoping that it will be "work on your own" time that I will make up. Anyway, today is the first work day of the week.

I have about 10 minutes to write this before my time anxiety will take over and make me jumpy.

That brings me to today's topic - overcoming my tendencies to not do something because I am not sure I can do it perfectly. Does anyone else have this situation going on? I call this my "perfectionistic tendencies." Side note - I might need a picture for these tendencies like I have a picture for one of my goblins.

Here's how my tendencies go when it is time to write a new TME. (Right now, these things are complicated because I cannot play my guitar yet.)

  1. Sit down and decide that it is time to write a therapeutic music experience (TME - my term for the things I do in sessions with my clients)
  2. Open up my TME jumpdrive and go to the Ideas for Development folder.
  3. Open up my Ideas book and flip through pages until I see something interesting.
  4. Think about not being able to wrote something that makes sense.
  5. Stress about wanting to make things perfect.
  6. Sit and stare at the computer while thoughts flit in and out of my head.
  7. Look at the time and realize that I've wasted so much time that I have to go do something else.
I spend lots of time just sitting and staring at my computer screen, wasting time thinking that anything I produce will not be up to my standards that it is ridiculous. When I go to work today, I have an extra hour of time without students before my therapy day begins. I am going to write a song using my chance composition technique - dice. They will help me create something to write down. I hope to have a new song done by the end of that hour.

Time to head out into the cold with the promise of warm temperatures this afternoon. It is hard to dress for a day that has a 50 degree difference between morning and afternoon, but that is my current reality so off I go!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sing A Song Sunday - The Time Change Song (Fall)

It's the time of year where most of us here in the states get to fall back one hour. This is a wonderful time as it gives us a chance to get an extra hour of sleep and to reset our internal clocks to be in sync with the earth's rotation a bit more than we are during the summer. I love this time of year and really dread moving to Daylight Savings in the Spring. Today' song is directed towards choir members and can be found here . There is also a spring version, and I'm sure I'll post a link to that one next year when we [shudder] spring forward yet again... Here is a YouTube video of a guy singing the song. I'm so very sorry for the pitch, but at least he's out there trying his best. Yipes. Anyway, the song itself is based on a hymn composed in 1907 by John Hughes. The words are by Dean McIntyre and were written in 1995. I find the song a bit tongue-in-cheek, but they give me a giggle every time I read them, so enjoy!! Sorry for the lack of diagram
Read more

Being An Internship Director: Why I Do Very Little Active Recruitment

Image
I am not someone who participates in every single internship fair or makes ads for my internship program to put on social media. I do not feel an obligation to anyone to fill all of the openings that I have every year. I operate on a "if you build it, they will come" type of viewpoint. I figure that the interns who are meant to be with me will find me. As a result, I do very little active recruitment. I will be part of the AMTAS Virtual Internship Fair this upcoming Sunday. I am not really expecting too many applications coming from this meeting, but I am interested in how it is going to be run. I decided to sign up because I want to see what others are doing and offering out there. So, this Sunday, I will be sitting in front of my computer, listening to what others share about their internships. One of the things that I like about being a National Roster Internship Director is that I have the ability to decide how many interns and when those interns work with me. I occasiona
Read more

Dear AMTA

Dear American Music Therapy Association: I am debating long and hard about remaining in this relationship. I have been in this relationship since college, and this is not a decision that I am taking lightly or without great cost.  I am not happy with what you are bringing to this relationship. Now, I have been a selfish partner over the past several years - mainly because I am not feeling like we share a common mission anymore. It is easy for me to place the blame on you, but I know that this is not all on me. I have tried to be invested in communication and support and understanding, but everyone comes to a time where enough is enough. I am trying very hard to decide if the benefits that you provide to me are worth the feelings that I have about where I think you and I are going. I am not sure that our destination is the same anymore, and this makes me sad. To be completely honest, I am only in this relationship these days for the music therapy interns. I don't think that is a hea
Read more