6 Lies I Tell Myself About Being a Music Therapist
I cannot seem to come up with anything to talk about today. This seems to be happening more and more lately - one of the side effects of summer for me. I get bored with everything and my brain shuts down. I've gone into my usual inspirations - Facebook, Pinterest, other places - with no success. Nothing is spurring me into thought.
Here's what I will do - a trip into blog post suggestions...
Here's one - Lies we tell ourselves about being a music therapist
One of the things that I presented on last year at the Western/Midwestern Region conference was figuring out how to avoid things like burnout, secondary trauma, and compassion fatigue. We went through a series of different things to help us figure out how to either avoid these situations or how to get out of these situations. This led me to lie #1.
Lie #1 - I will always love being a music therapist. Um, no. This is not true. As with any job, there are ups and downs. There are days I love my role as therapist, as musician, as music therapist. There are days I hate those same roles.
Lie #2 - Clients will respond to music the way I think they will. Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha! This is the reason I will no longer write session plans. Do you want to know more about this? Check out this blog post.
Lie #3 - I have to perfect. Oh dear. This is one of my biggest hangups that pervades my life. I am working on that perfectionist tendency, but it sneaks in at times (now is one of those times - the blog post doesn't have to be perfect, MJ, it can just be).
Lie #4 - My clients should do everything I say. Why? Is therapy guided only by the therapist? Should it be guided only by the therapist? I don't think so, but I fall into these patterns of thinking every so often.
Lie #5 - If I am unhappy, it is MY fault. Do you know that we can only control so much of our happiness? There are often other situations and relationships and circumstances that affect us but are not things we can control.
Lie #6 - If I can't be a music therapist, I will have failed. Did you ever get this type of vibe from your professors? I did, and it hurt when I wasn't a music therapist. I kept getting messages that because I wasn't out there, doing what my classmates were doing (forging new contracts), I wasn't good enough. I don't think that was the message that they meant to send, but that was how it came across. Interestingly, the person that was always held up to me as the epitome of music therapy got messages that I was employed and somehow doing better than her. We both got the same message - we weren't good enough. There is immense pressure to be a music therapist after going through all of the music therapy education investment. I still carry some of that guilt with me, but I've learned that happiness is more important to me than this imaginary debt that I owe anyone. Heck, I paid for my education - I don't own anyone anything else!
Here's the scoop. YOU OWE IT YOURSELF TO BE HAPPY! If you are not happy as a music therapist, then don't be a music therapist!
This seemed to be the underlying thought at the presentation that I led in March. There were folks who were feeling guilty that they were unhappy as music therapists and just couldn't really seem to figure out that it was fine to leave the profession.
We talked about it.
We cried about it.
We realized that we all tell ourselves lies about being music therapists.
We also realized that we are never alone in our process - there are folks who are blissful about being a music therapist, and there are folks who are struggling to be a music therapist every day.
I hope that someone out there can use this to realize that you are not alone in your frustrations and or joys. There are many of us out there in the world that are going through similar situations - we are not alone.
On an end note, at this moment, I am at a pretty good place in my self-lie detection process. I know what is erroneous thinking in my life, and I know what the truth is. I also know that I am not alone in this journey.
Thank you.
Here's what I will do - a trip into blog post suggestions...
Here's one - Lies we tell ourselves about being a music therapist
One of the things that I presented on last year at the Western/Midwestern Region conference was figuring out how to avoid things like burnout, secondary trauma, and compassion fatigue. We went through a series of different things to help us figure out how to either avoid these situations or how to get out of these situations. This led me to lie #1.
Lie #1 - I will always love being a music therapist. Um, no. This is not true. As with any job, there are ups and downs. There are days I love my role as therapist, as musician, as music therapist. There are days I hate those same roles.
Lie #2 - Clients will respond to music the way I think they will. Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha! This is the reason I will no longer write session plans. Do you want to know more about this? Check out this blog post.
Lie #3 - I have to perfect. Oh dear. This is one of my biggest hangups that pervades my life. I am working on that perfectionist tendency, but it sneaks in at times (now is one of those times - the blog post doesn't have to be perfect, MJ, it can just be).
Lie #4 - My clients should do everything I say. Why? Is therapy guided only by the therapist? Should it be guided only by the therapist? I don't think so, but I fall into these patterns of thinking every so often.
Lie #5 - If I am unhappy, it is MY fault. Do you know that we can only control so much of our happiness? There are often other situations and relationships and circumstances that affect us but are not things we can control.
Lie #6 - If I can't be a music therapist, I will have failed. Did you ever get this type of vibe from your professors? I did, and it hurt when I wasn't a music therapist. I kept getting messages that because I wasn't out there, doing what my classmates were doing (forging new contracts), I wasn't good enough. I don't think that was the message that they meant to send, but that was how it came across. Interestingly, the person that was always held up to me as the epitome of music therapy got messages that I was employed and somehow doing better than her. We both got the same message - we weren't good enough. There is immense pressure to be a music therapist after going through all of the music therapy education investment. I still carry some of that guilt with me, but I've learned that happiness is more important to me than this imaginary debt that I owe anyone. Heck, I paid for my education - I don't own anyone anything else!
Here's the scoop. YOU OWE IT YOURSELF TO BE HAPPY! If you are not happy as a music therapist, then don't be a music therapist!
This seemed to be the underlying thought at the presentation that I led in March. There were folks who were feeling guilty that they were unhappy as music therapists and just couldn't really seem to figure out that it was fine to leave the profession.
We talked about it.
We cried about it.
We realized that we all tell ourselves lies about being music therapists.
We also realized that we are never alone in our process - there are folks who are blissful about being a music therapist, and there are folks who are struggling to be a music therapist every day.
I hope that someone out there can use this to realize that you are not alone in your frustrations and or joys. There are many of us out there in the world that are going through similar situations - we are not alone.
On an end note, at this moment, I am at a pretty good place in my self-lie detection process. I know what is erroneous thinking in my life, and I know what the truth is. I also know that I am not alone in this journey.
Thank you.
Comments
Post a Comment