music, therapy, and me

Well, it is Wednesday again, and I have been up for a very long time. For some reason, I woke up in the midst of hot flashes that just kept on going and going about 1:30 am, so I've been awake for a long time already. Two lines of thunderstorms have come through my area, so it has been an interesting morning already. Wednesdays are when I take some time to reflect on what I am reading, but it really isn't all that interesting, so I am going to veer a bit away from all that to my current reading quest. About three weeks ago, I signed up for a library card for my town library. I went inside the library to get the physical card, but I am going to use this library card more for the digital resources it provides than the physical books - mainly because I hate going downtown to get to the library. There is just too many people downtown (it is our touristy place in my college town), and the roads are one-way until they aren't, and I just don't like the situation. There is a pa

Well, hello heat advisory #1 of the 2024 summer session. I have seriously NOT missed you so far, and I wish that you would fade into obscurity sooner than predicted because you make me absolutely miserable in so many ways! It is hot here. It is hot most places, but I am most concerned with the 50-mile radius that I travel through every work day. There is no air conditioning in my classroom, so I cannot get away from the heat when I am at work. It just makes me tired, cranky, and too exhausted when I get home to do much of anything. I was proud of myself yesterday when I got home, cooked dinner, and stripped the bed upstairs to be washed and dried in skin-friendly manners for my super sensitive guests who will be arriving in (gulp) four days. Today, I will be washing the bedding for the library room so I can move into it and prepare the music room for one of my guests. So, for after school today, I will be making the bed upstairs, finishing the bedding wash/dry cycle for the bed downsta

It has been two weeks since I offered a position to an applicant with no response. The applicant has two more weeks to accept the offer, but I am not sure that the applicant even received the offer. I guess I will resend the offer letter - just in case. I hate the waiting times that are involved in this set-up of ours. I have to wait until the applicant answers. Then, I have to wait for the internship agreement from the university program. Then, (and this is the hardest type of waiting that there is) I have to wait until the student intern actually starts! I am very thankful that I do not have an intern right now. The temperature in my music therapy room is very hot right now, and there is no fix in sight. My mother and my sister are very angry about this fact and keep telling me things to do that are not really feasible. I am tired of being hot. It really saps my energy and my attitude is not a happy one. I know that my seasonal affective disorder is worse in the summer than in the wi

Oh, dear.  My to-do lists are getting longer and longer every moment as I sit in my office and look around all the stuff that is piled in somewhat organized piles waiting to be placed in other places. I am experiencing a bit of overwhelm right now. I have already started a load of dishes, had breakfast, dithered around and around, figured out driving times for an upcoming trip, and am now sitting down to write this post. I tend to get bogged down in planning rather than the doing process - especially when it comes to cleaning and clearing! I want to organize, but I tend to stuff things rather than take the time to organize. So, today will be another experiment. I have nine plastic totes - the bigguns - that I am going to use better. My most recent water accident has shown me that plastic totes are better than the boxes, so things are going into plastic totes. I want to label what is in each tote as I put things in. I have some 4X6 index cards that I will use. I can also scan those card

I am gearing up for some self-care things later today. My Thursday afternoon meeting is cancelled to accommodate some "team-building" activities tomorrow that some of the team (ahem - the school therapists) are not invited to attend. So, I am going to use the meeting time for some self-care of my own. A large part of my self-care routine at the moment is finding a cool place to be. My room is not any cooler with the fans that have been installed - the fans just move the air around which is helpful but doesn't fix the broken HVAC system. My body does not handle heat well - it never has - so I tend to be overly tired and headachy at the end of every day. Ir is not a super comfortable situation. In fact, I am starting today with a headache which is also pretty typical for the summer months. I am thankful that I have a working AC system in my car and here at home. So, I am going to come home a little bit early and cool down in my space. I will also spend a bit of time trying

Sorry about not publishing my writing for the past couple of days. I have been hot and crabby and nothing that I have written has been something I want out in the world right now. I have entered panic mode about the state of my home and the upcoming visit from my family, but I am also stuck working in a room without ventilation, a broken air conditioner, and clients who are unable to regulate their temperatures. I leave my job everyday absolutely knackered and cannot bear to work when I get home. I have finished the first half of my week and am now entering the second half. This week, we have been doing centers - they get kids close to the floor where it is a little bit cooler, and it offers opportunity for independence and leisure skill development. We have three stations, and I have "must do" and "may do" things at some of the centers. We have a music symbol matching game and a stack of performer pictures to peruse at one center. The second center is a fine motor

It is time to bring back a chart that I have used many times over the years to illustrate how I use music while songwriting and while working with clients. This is a way of thinking that I really defined for myself when I was working as a Teaching Assistant many years ago, and it has stuck with me. If you have ever studied the Therapeutic Function of Music as defined by Deanna Hanson-Abromeit, then you have an idea of where I am going with all of this, but I take a little different view on what the Therapeutic Function of Music is for music therapists and music therapy clients. The picture below is of the graphic organizer I use when I am thinking about the Therapeutic Function of Music. Now, I use this chart when I am composing as well as when I am using the music composed by others. I do not usually start with this chart, but I always end up using it at the end. This is the best way for me to think about the musical options that are available to me as musician and music therapist. Th

It is Saturday, and my Friday was a wasted day. I remained in bed throughout the day, taking occasional naps, reading books, and still sleeping all night. My home is still as disorganized as it was before, but I have a bit more energy this morning than I did yesterday. I need to change out of my pajamas to get the trash cans from the curb, but I am not planning on leaving my home other than that! It is a good feeling to be able to just plan on being at home. I am currently listening to an author talk about editing her recent book after getting alpha readers to read through it all. This creator is engaging online, and I tend to listen to her videos often because she just chats, and I like that. She is currently talking about spending lots of time on really small tasks and concepts in her story that really do not matter in the long run, but that will make big differences once she gets things done. I can relate to her discussion about all of the things that she talks about. I like knowing

So, I have a problem. My problem is that I love paper. I like writing on it, getting as much of it as I can, and then reading from it. I have two shelves of scrapbooking paper and cardstock that I am trying very hard to use, but there are so many more designs that are out there, just waiting to be purchased... by me! As far as problems go, this isn't the worst one to have, but it can be an expensive one. I have a smaller shelf of finished books that I have made that just sit there. No one has wanted to purchase one, but I continue to make them because the creation brings me joy. Do you want one?? I will send it to you! The more I make, the more I get so I can make more things. This is the fundamental issue with being a creative person, I guess. I am feeling the urge to make another something today. Unfortunately, my living space is not a place where I can spread out my materials quite yet. There is still some work to be done before I can use my glue and my paper and my paper cutter

I took a day off yesterday - a day just to relax and not do much of anything. I did take the trash and the recycling out to the curb, so there's that, but nothing else really happened. I ate spaghetti. I waited for the mower WHO DID NOT ARRIVE YET AGAIN! My lawn looks horrible. I am not getting any sort of communication from the person who insisted that I postpone my appointment to yesterday. I am feeling inept and invisible. Ugh. I do feel better today. I woke up extra early, but I felt refreshed. Good thing, too, because today will be the hottest day of the season so far. I hope my room feels comfortable today, but I am guessing that it will not. It doesn't get better when it gets hotter outside - it gets worse. Tomorrow is payday. I should be getting a bonus this month for longevity which has already been spent on a new water heater and water mitigation services after the events of last month. It will be helpful but not completely cover the costs that I have had over the pas

I am taking this Wednesday off from my job, and I am going to be doing some just-for-fun reading later today. Most of my reading these days is just-for-fun reading, so this isn't really different, but I am diving back into the idea of library reading again, so that has changed. Also, let me explain the day off - I get four unpaid work days per year to use as I see fit, and I decided to use my last one today. If I don't use them in the contract year, then I basically donate a day where I don't get paid but work for free. I am not that dedicated to my job that I want to work and not be paid, so I am taking noncontract day #4 today. I am going to eat spaghetti, read cozy mysteries, and nap if I want to. I am hoping that my lawn finally is mown today, but we will see. It has been cancelled, postponed, and lied about four times in the past week. I don't know if it will happen, but I am hoping it will be finished today. The weeds outside are pretty tall, and the city gets rea

... the very thought of having to make music just exhausts you completely? Welcome to this music therapist's summer experience. I am starting to slide into my summer SAD situation, and I just don't want to go anywhere but my bed. I am not looking forward to yet another summer in a hot room, listening to people complain about the temperature (which I cannot change at all), just marking time. Two weeks, three days until our next summer break. ... the birds are singing their hearts out outside in the one tree branch that hangs over the fence? I have one bird that is just out there, chirping and chirping away. I wonder what it is trying to convey to me. It doesn't sound upset, but it is constantly singing out there. It is too dark to see what is happening out there, but I am curious. ... there is too much happening in the world outside your doors? I cannot start my day with any sort of news because it becomes very overwhelming for me. ... you just don't want to be around ot

I am still an internship director without an intern, and I am not entirely upset about this fact. I am looking forward to going through the rest of this year as a solo therapist, but I will probably have another intern at the start of next year - at least one. Does it mean something when you have seven unfinished applications? Most of those unfinished applications are waiting for letters - either eligibility or recommendation letters. I wonder if the applicants think that I have everything and have just flaked off. I really haven't - they just don't have everything finished. I state, several times in fact, that it is their responsibility to ensure that all parts of their applications are turned in, and I will communicate with them when the application is complete. None of them have bothered to check. Message received. So, I will be deleting their applications and moving on. I wonder if any of those applicants realize that it is their responsibility to close their applications.

Happy Sunday from my soggy piece of this world. I am supposed to get my lawn mown today (FINALLY!), but I am not sure if they will come since it is so wet outside. Ugh. This just confirms my thoughts that the mower should have come last Wednesday as scheduled rather than having to re-do this entire thing, but that is a problem for another day. (Later - much later - well, the mowing didn't happen, but at least this time around they let me know that they weren't coming. That's progress, I guess.) I used to have a horrible difficulty with the thought of improvisation. I have written about it many times on this blog over the years (search improvisation in the labels tag to see the story). My jazz training really put a deep-seated fear in me, but that is not what this is all about today. I have found a way around those fears, so I can make all sorts of songs up nowadays. It's quite a good day, but let's just get into how I do this type of songwriting... My go-to format f

I had a busy day yesterday. I arranged my library bookshelves, made some inquiries about refurbishing my guitars, got my new library card, found a new craft store where I picked up some new stuff to use in my books, bought three chairs for my home so my sister and my mother have someplace to sit while they are here, went to a movie, and then finished things up with some chili tots and a cheeseburger. I was busy, and I was happy during all of it - that is not something that usually happens when I am out shopping. It was a good day, but I am exhausted this morning. I am going to work on things at my house today. I need to eat something, and I need to figure out how I am going to remove a heavy box of ruined records from the library to the trash can without killing my back. That is the last bit of stuff that is stinking up my library room. I can't hold it myself, so I will have to parcel it out - a bit at a time. Once that task is finished, I will have the room back to use. I want to

You know how I had no idea what I would do with my 30 minute groups on Wednesday? Well, I came up with something that seemed pretty successful - always a good situation to find yourself in! I sat in my office space and just thought and thought. I had a stack of books that I had to put away, and I decided that a singable book might be a good way to get music going in a very hot environment. So, I went through the stack of books and found one that I could expand upon. I selected Groovy Joe: Ice Cream and Dinosaurs  as my book for the week. It is not a song book (as far as I know), but there is a song affiliated with the book (I did not download it), so it lent itself well to an improvised song/chant with a background beat. I kept up the dinosaur theme and showed my clients a magnetic play set of dinosaurs that I purchased from the Dollar Tree store many years ago. I sang/asked them to choose their favorite from the pictures. Most of them selected brachiosaurus as their favorite. Mine is

This is going to be a quick post just to let you know that I entered work yesterday morning with absolutely no idea what I was going to do with my 30-minute sessions. I left work with a successful set of therapeutic music experiences (TMEs) with my clients around the theme of dinosaurs! This theme was inspired by a Groovy Joe book called "Ice Cream and Dinosaurs" and features a simple story. I paired this with a beat and rapped the entire book to my students. We did some free instrument play while I asked group members to identify their favorite dinosaurs from a magnetic play set that I have in my cabinets. Yay for using the things I already have and NOT making more stuff!! I have a new schedule which is helpful for my brain because it has two distinct sessions for my 30-minute groups. I do session version #1 on Mondays and Tuesdays and session version #2 on Wednesdays and Thursdays now. Before, I had to do two different sessions every day which was a bit confusing for me and

Oh, Wednesday - still my busiest day of the work week, but a little less busy than it was three weeks ago. In the past seven days, I have finished about six books and am knee-deep in a seventh. Four of those books were on my last Wednesday post, so here is a review of those books: One False Note: The 39 Clues - by Gordon Korman. Since these are children's books, they are easy to read. I am enjoying this series and want to know what will happen next. The Sword Thief: The 39 Clues - by Peter Lerangis. Same as above. I will be ordering the fourth book soon. Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine - by Gail Honeyman. I felt strangely called out by this book. Eleanor's life is somewhat reminiscent of my own, but there are some significant differences as well. I found it very interesting, and I figured out the twist situation before it was revealed to me. Daisy Jones and the Six - by Taylor Jenkins Reid. This was an interesting book. Lots of drug use which is not something that I seek

Today is the day where I slip back into my internship director mode - for the day. I have an internship applicant coming to spend some time with me and with my clients. We are going to get to know each other a bit. The applicant will lead a 10-minute therapeutic music experience (TME) with the first group of the day (I hope they will be good to the applicant), and then the rest of the day, the applicant will watch me do my sessions. Today is the first day of our extended school year session, and there are three things happening. The first is the intern applicant visit. The second is that we have a new schedule to navigate. The third is that it is time to get ready to go in the last portion of this school year, AKA our extended school year. I have no idea what we will be doing this week. Usually, it is our country of the month introduction, but I am not prepared for that right now. So, we might do some games. I like that idea - we can play WAR, Slapjack, Instrument Memory, Simon Says, C

I am not a deep-subject type of songwriter. I do not write love songs or song with deep social examination. I write songs about silly sounds and stretching and keeping your hands to yourself and disgusting food. In my lifetime, though, I have written poetry that does concern itself with deeper topics. I just don't seem to turn those poems into music. When I try to write "serious music," it tends to come out sounding like a hymn. So, I occasionally write hymns. Go with your strengths, right? I would love to be the type of songwriter who could write songs with depth and meaning and then go somewhere to share those songs to others, but I have never been that person. I do much better writing my little therapy songs than stressing about sending out a message into the world. This has a bit of a negative tone to it, doesn't it? That's not what I want for this post, so let's engage in some reframing. I am a good therapeutic composer. I write catchy songs that are no l

I found my flute!! I still haven't found my copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy  which I have been wanting to read this summer, but I found the flute! It needs lots of work, but it is mine, and I have been wondering where I put it. I found my clarinet and my saxophone, but the flute was absent from my instrument room. Why? It was in the library boxes. It is a WT Armstrong flute that I found in a thrift store. It is pretty beat up, but it seems to be a good instrument overall. It is closed hole but appears to be silver plated. This is sparking my interest in learning how to repair instruments. Perhaps that is a next job type situation - becoming an instrument repair person. There is only the weekend between me and the extended school year program at my job. That is all that I have left before heading back into the grind. At the moment, my house has been taken over by a very large dehumidifier and three air movers. There is a consistent sound happening all over my home a