music, therapy, and me

I will be here soon... Today is the last day of my school contract year. (This is one of those job things that do not really affect my professional status but has everything to do with where I work and with whom.) Tomorrow starts the 2021-2022 school year, and I am more than ready to be done with this crazy year. I thought the end of 2019-2020 was bad? This year was so much worse in so many ways. In others, it was a bit better. Today ends this year of pandemic changes every 6 weeks. Today ends the official reign of administrators who seemed to care so little about what was happening in the school that they disappeared to "work from home" even while maintaining that we had to be present in the lives of our residents. We have new administrators now - folks that were at school the entire time we had to be. Today ends the year of three interns during a pandemic and having to try to juggle their hour completion in a time when every single day brought significant changes to how we ...

Do you know that I write a monthly therapeutic music experience (TME) collection that is available to you? I do. It's a labor of love that I enjoy so much, and I just finished this year's sing about october and will be releasing it to subscribers Thursday morning! When I was a naive Master's student many years ago, I wanted to do a project thesis where I was writing curriculum for musical learners. This curriculum was based on teaching specific facts and skills to learners who might appreciate hearing the information in a musical format. I had written much of the music and most of the background information when my advisor changed and the new one was not at all interested in what I had developed. So, I shoved my sing about songs project to the back of the shelf and finished a thesis that my advisor would approve. That project, however, still called to me. After I finally left school (a humbler and much wiser music therapist and person), I pulled it out of the back of the ...

...and spent money that I didn't have to spend on Amazon Day last week...my stuff is starting to arrive now, and I am still pleased with my choices... I bought some spoons - my students seem to LOVE these, but the best part about them is that they bend. I don't love that as much, so I buy new ones every so often. That way, when they get so bent that I can no longer straighten them to a semblance of their former selves, I can replace them. I also bought a pair of mini kalimbas. I could not resist. They are in the picture above with the musical spoons for reference. They sound really good, and I like that they came in such cute packaging. Those things, a striker for my singing bowl, a drum set cover, and some paper things made up my order. Then...Thursday arrived and with it, Throw Back Thursday posts from my friends. One friend (actually, my middle and high school crush) has a dad who spent all of my friend's band life taking pictures of what was happening. Since I was in ba...

Originally, I had planned to take next Sunday off from writing this series, but I did not get any reading done in my Emotional Processes book this week, so I guess I will be writing a bit about my reading next week...maybe. We shall see. This has been a quiet weekend of crying (for some reason - not sure why), and planning, and watching WAY too much television, and not wanting to move much. I had a really bad arthritis situation on Wednesday that pretty much just threw the rest of my week into pain and the need to rest more than usual. So, I did and really tried not to feel guilty about resting so much. I am now starting to get things pulled together for my next break, and the to-do list is piling up. I had yet another early morning this morning, so I am not really at my best right now. I will try to stay awake all day today without any sort of naps in order to get back into a routine. We will see if it works or if I should just get used to being awake at 2am. That's it for today. ...

I am an unapologetic morning person. My best hours for thinking and doing things are from 4-10 in the morning, and my energy crashes about 2 pm most days. I am usually pretty tired until about midnight when I get another rush of energy. Most of the time, though, I am sleeping at the midnight hour so I don't really take advantage of my morning-ness the way I could...if I didn't love sleeping! I have been awake since about 2 am this morning. Rather than trying to fall back asleep (and failing like I always do - once I'm up, I'm up), I decided to get up and enjoy the morning. So, I have been sitting at the computer, in the darkness (except for the computer screen) for a little over two hours now. The sunrise hasn't started yet, but it will in about an hour, so I have some more time to sit in the semi-darkness and enjoy the quietude. Come to think of it, there may not be much of a dawn since it was raining when I awoke and may not be done - can't tell right now. ANY...

I did it. I signed up for the virtual AMTA conference this fall. It's been about two years since I went to an AMTA conference due to many reasons - primarily disinterest. I am slowing down on my CMTE pursuits, so my professional development monies can be used for the AMTA conference these days. I just realized that this conference will interfere with my intern's graduation, so I will have to do a bit of juggling to get things going, but I should be able to take the day after the conference to make up for the possible day that I will miss due to checking my intern out of her internship. I cannot miss that event for anything!! My next intern will not start until January so no conflict there. I am looking for community and inspiration in how I do music therapy. This year has been isolating in many ways, and I feel like I sometimes get into my little ruts. I have no idea what is going on in the world of music therapy. I am okay with that because most of what I have been part of bef...

  I am heading to work today with less pain in my joints. That is a good sign. I took my temperature like I do every day, and it was elevated. That is not a good sign. It is not "COVID range" but it is a bit higher than it usually is these days. I am still heading into work to get stuff finished up and do my job. Yesterday's day of rest worked well to combat the effect of gravity on my arthritic joints, but led to a continuation of interrupted sleep last night. I did not sleep for long stretches of time last night, and I can feel the effect now. It is time, though, to head back for this last day of the work week and get things done. I am eager to see if my additional storage and/or curtain has arrived (I doubt it) so I can finalize everything and get back into the process of learning where things are put...now. Anyway, it is time to turn my thoughts back towards my job and my profession. You see, I distinguish between the two in very specific ways - definition and attitud...

I didn't run any music therapy sessions yesterday because I moved my intern and myself and all my junk into the storage closet. You see, some short-sighted administrators (who have all left under mysterious circumstances now) decided that we didn't need any extra office space in the education area and gave that away to the clinical team and now we need that office space back but every single nook and cranny is full to the brim of stuff, including my room, but since I have three separate storage areas (2 offices and the closet which I only spread things into in January), I was expected to be a "team player" and allow people to be constantly tramping through my music therapy sessions for the "good of the team." Now, I have lived with the "people tramping through" situation for several years, and I HATE IT! I decided to make things fall the way I wanted them to fall. I approached my new principal (not one of the short-sighted) and told him that I knew...

As a well-practiced music therapist who has been a professional for 28 years (yep, I am THAT old), I no longer write session plans. I gave up that particular assignment as soon as I possibly could after finishing my clinical practica because it never worked out the way I wrote it so it was an exercise in busy work for me. NOTE: Now, if you are currently a student and having to write session plans, please continue to do so to get your grade and please your music therapy supervisors. Just know that there will be a time, after you get your degree, where you can do what works for you instead of what others tell you to do. I do not write session plans. Instead, I focus all sorts of thought and energy on my therapeutic music experiences (TMEs) and develop them well past what I did during my undergraduate years. This means that I have TMEs that I can print off to show other people what we are doing in music therapy if they ask for them. I don't have to have a session plan. I encourage my ...

I am falling into a pattern where I do not sleep well on Sunday nights. No matter what I do to keep myself ready to sleep through the night, I wake up early and often on Sunday/Monday nights. I am not sure why this is happening. I do not feel particularly anxious about going to work, I don't think. I just can't seem to figure out how to change that pattern. My mother used to get into huge anxiety patterns over work. She had to go on anti-anxiety medication to help her navigate the work stress that she had. I am not sure that is what is going on with me, but it is something worth exploring, I guess. I would think that my sleep disturbance (if it really was an anxiety thing) would happen on Monday/Tuesday nights due to the groups that I have on Tuesdays. Mondays are easy in comparison. I did not take a nap yesterday afternoon - on purpose - and ate early to see if that would help. It did not. I still woke up at 1:07 am and struggled to get back to sleep. It is supposed to be cool...

I'm not going to lie to you - this was not an easy week to get to reading, but I did a bit of it and here's what I have to report... This week's chapter is the last of the first section of the book, and it covers how we have developed ideas of culture, language, and music in ways that are both unfamiliar and givens, at least in my knowledge base. Chapter three dives a bit into sociology, anthropology, and emotional psychology to discuss how we use music. There is a bit about whether animals use sounds as communication/language and some debate about whether those sounds are also musical in nature. I did not get through the chapter yesterday. There will be a much better review and report next Sunday (I hope). I find Pellitteri's writing style very readable and the concept makes sense to me. I haven't had to write down many vocabulary words to check (which tends to happen when I read music therapy texts), and I know what we are discussing most of the time. I like that ...

As I speak, I am uploading a process video that I made yesterday. I am not necessarily the best videographer that ever was, but I am learning, and I do enjoy showing what I can do with a couple pieces of paper and a camera. I was nervous about an eye doctor appointment (that got cancelled so all those nerves were unnecessary), so I put together something I've mentioned before in my blog - a theme-based choice board for clients to use to shape their own music therapy sessions. The end result is gorgeous (if I do say myself), and I am so excited about getting the process on video that I could just burst! I CAN CHECK SOMETHING OFF MY TO-DO LIST!! It is taking a very long time to upload, but that seems to be the way things go around here. It will go faster once I am no longer using the internet for anything other than uploading. After about two hours of uploading, it finally was finished!!   So, why do I make these boards? It goes along with my current focus on my theme boxes and ideas...

I am reflecting on the week that was, and I'm finding that things went pretty well this week. Nothing to complain about except for having difficulty breathing and then being around people using scented products in all areas of my life which triggered additional breathing problems. Other than that, things went well. I mean, there was that one group where half of the students slept through music therapy, but the other half LOVED everything we did in the session. Perhaps I shouldn't pick too much at this idea that it was a good week...the illusion might shatter. That would not be good. ANYWAY...  I feel that this was a good week. I spent time medicated more than usual - I wonder if that had something to do with it all. My body was struggling for breath, but I was still able to do my job in a pretty good way. I tried things that I would not have tried without some inspiration from my intern - that was good.  I accepted intern #33 and that person accepted the position right back. #...

I have had a Promethean Board (ProBo for short in my head) for a week now. I have run my first two applications using the ProBo this week, and I find it to be interesting but not necessary to my existence as a music therapist. I am hoping that I will always feel this way about it - that it is nice to have but not essential for me to do my job. It is interesting that this is my perspective. I don't think I am all that unsavvy when it comes to technology, but I am VERY picky about what I let into my life and my habits. It took me a long time to consent to having a cell phone. In fact, it took an accident on a snowy day to make me realize that cell phones are essential tools in life today. It took me about as long to upgrade from my flip phone to a smart phone. I keep my phones until the battery can no longer hold charges rather than turning them in each time I am eligible. I just don't see why a reliance on technology is a good thing. My motto for this part of my life is "te...

I am officially half-way through my music therapy week, and I am WIPED OUT! Egad! I always feel this way during the summer which is one reason why I do not have such good summers. I am constantly bombarded by scents that irritate my already irritated lungs which leads to medication use and breathing treatments and the need to stay pretty close to my rescue inhaler because I just can't predict when some numb knob will decide that they deserve to clog up my air with Scentsy products (can't breathe around them), or, even worse, use spray air freshener! Before I sink into a diatribe about scents and their use in the workplace, I want to shake myself out of this situation and into another frame of thought. I am not looking forward to my groups today. I am tired and crabby and finding it difficult to breathe, but I will drag my aching body into work to do what I have to do today because I am jealously guarding my last remnant of sick time for this year until after the new contract ye...

It is Tuesday. This morning came very early for me, and I am not particularly happy about it all, but it is what it is, so here I am, trying to come up with a TME Tuesday post, all groggy and bleary-eyed like. The classroom next to mine overloaded the air with a bunch of air freshener after a feces incident yesterday, and I had to leave due to an inability to breathe. That is not the topic of today, however. Today's topic is a bit "so what? Who cares?" in nature. Let me explain... So, I believe that the act of writing out my goals, my intentions, my processes, and my procedures helps me advocate for music therapy. I also believe that this act helps me remember things, refine details, and provide adaptations for ideas that enrich the lives of (most of) my clients. I am able to provide people with detailed plans for any type of experience placed into my session, and I can justify just about anything in treatment because I have thought through the processes of how music can ...

That would be a good title for a song - waiting for my bananas to ripen. I am a picky banana eater - I do not like green bananas and they have to be at just the right amount of yellow before I will eat them. The bananas that I got yesterday are still green. One should be just about right either tonight or tomorrow morning. The others still need a couple of days to be just right for me. One of my biggest frustrations and challenges in life is having to wait for certain things to happen before other things can be done. Usually, the things that I have to wait on are things that are not mine to do, so that makes the frustration and challenge that much more. If I am the reason behind the waiting period, I can handle it so much better than if I have to wait for someone else to do their part of the job. I hated group projects in school for this very reason. I am currently in a bit of a waiting pattern right now with my office/closet space. I am waiting for a cabinet to arrive so I can move th...

It's that time again - time to update you on what I've been reading. I actually sat down yesterday and did some reading in my book - finished chapter two and looked forward into chapter three of Emotional Processes in Music Therapy by John Pellitteri. I must say that I am enjoying this book. It is providing me with a framework that is valid (in my opinion) regardless of which theoretician you subscribe to in your way of doing music therapy. I like that. I feel that it gets me one step closer to my goal of a Grand Unifying Theory of Music Therapy - the one thing that links us all together rather than pulling us apart. That's what I want for the music therapy community - things that pull us together instead of pulling us apart. My quest for understanding is moving along quite nicely. Anyway, back to the book that I am currently reading. I took notes this time around, so here are some of the things that I gleaned from my research yesterday afternoon... p. 26 - A Model of Emot...

I am at the beginning of my Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) cycle. This is a part of my life that happens every year, and it seems to be related completely to the hot, humid life that occurs around me at this time. I was able to stave off some of the symptoms because we had a nice long spring, but summer is here in its humid, buggy, unpredictable glory, so I can feel things starting to take over. My SAD has lots to do with my difficulty breathing during these conditions, I am sure. I have chronic headaches, bad asthma, and lots of lethargy. I let things pile up and doing stuff is difficult. I try to minimize the humidity but it is a lost cause around here. I am going to buy a dehumidifier because (duh) that might help with my breathing. Anyway, to combat some of these feelings, I am trying a bit of silliness and some socialization. I went to Topeka yesterday, our capitol city, and a place that I avoid like the plague because I get lost there very easily - for some strange reason. I c...

So, I was scrolling around Facebook this morning and found that a friend of mine had commented on a radio station's post about the song that was top of the charts on your 7th birthday. The post stated that the song would define your 2021. So, rather than posting that information on Facebook, I decided to look it up and see what song would pop up. "Sir Duke." That was the song that was #1 on the charts when I turned seven. It is by Stevie Wonder, and the title was not familiar to me, so I went to Google to search lyrics. The song starts, "Music is a world within itself with a language we all understand." I went to YouTube and immediately recognized the song as something that I have heard before but not really got into deeply before. I've never really listened to all the words before, but now I have them in front of me. I don't think this particular song defines my 2021, but it DEFINITELY defines my life. If you haven't heard this song, I would recomm...

I am not a fan of summer. Never have been, probably never will be, ESPECIALLY as I live in a humid environment which wreaks havoc on my breathing. My mom likes to tell a story of me as a toddler. Mom asked if I wanted to take a walk (we lived in Temple, Texas at the time). I looked outside the window and said, "Nope, sun's out." I have never really been all that fond of summer. I am currently almost as medicated as I can possibly be for this humid environment. Allergy medications? Check. Inhaler? Check. Nebulizer? Not yet - can't nebulize and drive, so I have to wait until I get to work to do that medicating. Through it all, I am having to sing in a mask in a room that is not being well air conditioned (though the bathrooms and the closet [yep, THAT closet] are plenty cold. This has been an interesting week of music therapy with challenges that are pretty unique to me. Another music therapist would not have these same struggles - that's for sure. So, I am struggli...

One of the things that I have always struggled with is change. Now, in my brain I know that change is something that will and does happen quite often. I am a big fan of change when I am the one who is initiating it. I am less of a fan when changes are made that affect my job directly but NO ONE TALKS TO ME ABOUT IT UNTIL EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON! Anyway, there are tons of changes happening at work right now. One of the changes has directly affected me and my music therapy space, so I stepped up and talked to my new supervisor about my solution to his problem. Here's the deal. In January 2021 (just 5 months ago), I moved most of my music therapy instruments into a closet that had opened up. I was guaranteed by my (at the time) supervisor that there was no need for that space to be used for anything other than music therapy. Okay. I took over the space and filled it to the brim with the piano, the drum set, all of my Orff instruments, and most of my sensory, visual, and novel...