music, therapy, and me

For some reason, I am having the heebie-jeebies today.  I don't know why, and this may be a side effect of all the medication that I am taking right now, but I am jumpier than usual and a bit over-responsive to the news and commentaries that I am accessing. This is probably a function of said medication and a bit about the political climate that we live in, but for whatever reason, I am going through it.  I thoroughly dislike this feeling of general uneasiness that comes over me with the heebie-jeebies. It's like something is out there, just waiting to take over, and I know it is out there, but I am trying to avoid it. This is the theme of every anxiety dream that I have lately - hiding and avoiding things and people who annoy me. I don't know if I am feeling this way due to the medications or because the world is disintegrating around us all or because my brain is just wanting to take me on a ride. It is a mystery. No matter how I'm feeling, today is a work day, so I w...

I think I may have come to the end of this particular series of Sunday posts. At this point (and for a couple of weeks now), I have tried to come up with something new to talk about, but it has been a struggle. I am thinking it might be time to shift to another type of topic and discussion in this music therapy life of mine. But, what? I like to have a bit of structure to what I write and when I write it. Over the years that I have been writing, I have come into a type of routine. That routine has changed over the years, but I like having a bit of an expectation about what I am going to write each week. It helps to have some structure in my writing life. Without it, I tend to just ramble and babble about things that are not exactly about music or therapy - just about me! So, I want to think a bit about what my Sunday topic will be. I like alliteration, so I think it will be something that starts with an S. Song, sing, strategy, systems, somnolence, so many nice S words. I haven't r...

What?? A trip to the library on a Saturday? Yep. I signed up for a seminar about musicians in my local town and have to head out today to meet with other people. This is a HUGE step for me - going to a place where I will not know anyone to do things that are completely out of my wheelhouse. I am already regretting this decision, but it is something that I need to do. Here's the synopsis of what I'm doing later today:  Want to learn how to turn your art into a sustainable career? Join the library for a special session of What Works, a workshop on entrepreneurship for artists from the Mid-America Arts Alliance.…   So, that's what I am going to do - learn how to turn my art into a sustainable career. I hope that it will be something that I can finally accomplish - making some money from my art and my music outside of a full-time job. We will see what happens. I hope that there are lots of people in the auditorium because I don't want to be one of two - too much attentio...

I answered a strange survey this week about office use. I probably should have ignored it, but I was curious about what they wanted to know. One of the things that I noticed was that there were several questions about whether my office provided me with opportunities for collaboration and camaraderie.  My office does not. I am more than okay with that fact. I think there might be a need to maximize office space at the facility because we are becoming overly top heavy with administration staff who are doing jobs that used to be done with only one person - and now there are five people doing what Larry used to do all by himself. So, I think this is the reason that the survey came out, but I have some issues with the questions that they asked. I feel that they were very skewed towards an extroverted point of view and existence. I am an introvert. I am about as introverted as they come on any scale that anyone has developed. I really need quiet and alone time to recuperate after session...

I am someone who truly believes in the use of medication when it is needed. I am a proponent of vaccination, and I think that there is no reason to suffer with allergies when chemistry exists that will help my body acclimate and decrease my suffering. There you go. Now, I am also someone who needs time to get over allergy medication symptoms. Yesterday was the first day I went onto my over-the-counter medication for my allergies, and I had to stay home because Day 1 always includes extreme drowsiness and dizziness that keeps me from being safe when driving. So, I remained at home, slept all morning, and then was able to remain awake for the afternoon. I went back to sleep around 7:30 pm and woke again at 9pm, 12:57 am, and 3:15 am. I dozed in my bed until 4:40, and now I am here, writing this blog after showering and getting myself downstairs for the next dose of medication. My brain is awake, which it wasn't an hour ago, so I feel like I can make it to work without too much diffic...

Today is the 32nd anniversary of starting my life as a music therapy professional. On this date back in 1993 (in the late part of the 20th century), I finished my internship at the Center for Neurodevelopmental Studies in Phoenix, Arizona and officially became a music therapist! It has been an interesting life, being a music therapist for over three decades. I am glad that I am still able to do something that I love. I hope to continue to do this work for another couple of decades. I have had four full-time jobs and many, MANY part-time jobs in the last 32 years. I have worked as an administrator (didn't like it back then), a recreation programmer, a rehabilitation (music) therapist, a recreation specialist, and a music therapist. I have been a church music director, a part-time temp doing filing work for an ambulance company, a music therapy contractor, part of a not-for-profit board of directors, a content creator, an author, a professional supervisor, and lots of other small job...

I am really bad at self-promotion. I mean, REALLY bad! I have had a music therapy website based business for the past 29 years, and no one knows about it. I write books of therapeutic music experiences (TMEs), books for interns, forms for music therapists in all sorts of roles. I blog, I do some YouTube content, and I work full and part-time as a music therapist. When it comes to letting people know what I do and what I love to share, it is nearly impossible for me to promote and market to my targeted audience. I wanted to do an exhibit this year, but I did not get organized enough (or produce enough things) to get that done. I am not all that disappointed by this particular situation - after all, I could have done it, but I just wasn't all that interested in working on the project. I still have that on my quest map, but I might wait until next year to get things going. I am getting better at sending people the link to my TPT store which is where I am putting all of my products. So...

Today is the last day of my Spring break, so I am getting myself geared up to return to my daily routine.  I have nine weeks before the next round of medical procedures, so I have nine weeks to get my house ready for visitors. I also have a grocery order to pick up, food to cook and freeze, and a bedroom to clear. I don't want to do anything, but I will. There are definitely places where you can see changes in my environment. I put lots of boxes into recycling from the living room. The desk is still clearer than it was and is ready for some filming. I moved some bookshelves around that allow me to arrange laminating materials and file folders for some creation.  I have done laundry, cleaned the sheets, washed many of the dishes (there are always more to wash, though), read four books, and napped (but only once or twice over the past nine days). I have been shopping outside my house a couple of times. I have spent lots of money on groceries, and I had my annual visit with my fi...

Today has been a challenging day already. Something I ate yesterday did not agree with my intestinal tract, so I am now trying to figure out which new thing (I had three new things yesterday) was the culprit while still trying to maintain a bit of decorum. I just saw that a job that I was invited to apply for, went on an interview, and then was completely ghosted about is open again. I am confused and disgusted about how this job was handled, especially about the ghosting part of it all. To be honest, I would not be able to take the job due to the dismal salary, but I wonder why no one ever interacted with me ever again - not even a "no thank you" letter to close the inquiry. Now, they want other people to go through the process again? At least it means that the other candidate also did not get the job or did not want it. I wonder if they let that person know anything or if they were left hanging the same way I was left hanging. I now have more questions about things than ans...

Today is day seven of nine.  Day six ended up with some progress down here in the office area. I emptied a couple of boxes, moved some shelves around, put things into boxes, and set up my robot vacuum. I also made burritos for breakfast and then just watched television the rest of the day. I bet today's to-do and got-done list will be similar. I have to add getting my trash cans from the curb to the things to do today, but other than that, I have no plans other than making a bit more sense of my home environment.  I have three more bins down here in the office to go through. I have ordered box cutters since I can't find them where I currently shop. I have a yen to make some greeting cards to send to friends. I want to be creating things, but I am struggling to make the time when my environment is not looking clean and clear. So, I will be doing some cleaning and clearing before crafting. This has been an okay break. I have finished some of the tasks on my to-do list. I have ad...

It is the downhill slide from break back to work now. We are over the halfway point, and I am progressing on my quests. One of the benefits to being on the trek back to work is that my brain is wanting to create and is coming up with ideas that I am trying to capture on paper as much as possible. I think I have come up with my workshop idea for the World Congress of Music Therapy next year, but I want to play with the idea a bit before I submit it. It is nice to have some ideas come into my brain at this time. It is exhilarating to get ideas of projects that need to be done and developed. I am watching a YouTuber that I enjoy, Emily Harvey, who has a small sticker business in the United Kingdom. She is currently moving from being a full-time mom and small business owner to working outside her home again in a full-time job in addition to the other things that she does. She is trying to focus on her small business one hour a day in the afternoon to get things done and to be able to have ...

My sister is on the phone with me right now, talking about her morning commute which is significantly changing due to freeway construction. We now talk to and from her job. Today's discussion started with a grumble because of traffic and ended with mutual giggles and jokes about birds. Her break is next week, so she is currently engaged in parent-teacher conferences at the end of each day this week in order to prepare. Her teacher life in general education is somewhat different from mine as a therapist in special education, but there are enough similarities that we can bond over the silly stuff that happens in the world of education these days. We have now arrived at the halfway point of my spring break. We may have some snow flurries later today, but it is currently windy and bright and sunny at my home. I have two hours before I can attempt to go to the library and get some new books. I have read four books from my To Be Read pile, so I feel like I can go get some other books wit...

Overwhelmed. It is Tuesday of my spring break, and I have hit my overwhelmed point a couple of days early. I misplaced my planner when I started cleaning down here in the office. I just found it, so I am feeling a bit better about things right now. It's amazing how much I depend on that book. Now that I have found it, I am feeling a bit less overwhelmed.  Egad. When I feel overwhelmed with things, I find that the best thing for me to do is to get busy with chores. Chores tend to be a big part of the overwhelm, so it is best to get things done. Unfortunately, the chores are the source of the overwhelm so the cycle goes around and around. A couple of years ago, I made an index card collage of things that I can do when I am feeling this way. It is a silly little card, but it does help me when I need it. It includes things like reading a book or taking a walk or cleaning a corner. I used to keep it in my journal, but I left it behind a bit ago. I want to put it back in there to remind ...

I have hit the "Oh, dear, what the heck have I done?" point of my break a bit early. This usually happens about three days from now, but I have hit it early!! This is not the point I want to be at right now. I am looking at the things I have been working on and things look worse than when I started. It is a bit defeating, but I am getting things together - I think! I cleared off my desk yesterday. I also moved the office supply boxes to my newly cleared desk so I have two empty-ish shelves that I can fill with other stuff from a different part of my home. I rearranged my pens in my upstairs desk. That led to sorting through things in my other upstairs desk. I am currently feeling overwhelmed with my life and my environmental choices and the amount of stuff that I still have to do. Ugh. I will need to be upstairs again in about two hours when my sister calls me on her morning commute. I am not wanting to be upstairs right now, but I don't want to be downstairs either. I wa...

Anyone else used to chant, "slap, bang, here we go again. Here we go again. Here we go again?" Just me? Okay. This seems like a repetition going through my head for today. Here I go again. I am tired, but happy to have an entire week ahead of me for resting and cleaning and discovering things about me that I am ready to learn. I did some clearing out yesterday. The floor of my office area is a bit less cluttered, but it is not finished yet. I did as much as I could stand, but then abandoned the entire thing because I was dizzy and could not trust myself with moving around my environment. I then read a couple of books, cooked some burrito fixings, and then ate my one meal of the day. Today will be a bit more of the same but will also include some stuff outside of my house. I have to go to the bank, the pharmacy, and the movie theater. I might also do some product design and some watercoloring. We will see. Do you ever have something that you know you have put somewhere but you...

It is time for Spring Break from my school job, and I am getting ready for a week of staycation and time to myself. As a result, I may or may not be writing as much this week. I am getting myself ready for rest and cleaning. I just now realized that my plans to go to the library on Monday have to change because there will be a St. Patrick's Day parade on Monday. I will not be going anywhere near my downtown area because of the parade. Getting free parking will be difficult, so I will be remaining away from the library on the 17th. Already, I am shifting my plans around. Going to the library was one of two things that I have to do outside of my house, and now the plan has changed. I am really thankful that I remembered the parade today and not on Monday morning when I was stuck in the whole mess!! It is time to buckle down and get my home environment working for me. I am working on my motivation and follow through for this week, so I am going to try to work on reconfiguring my livin...

Here I am, sitting at my desk in a hazy mental fog caused by taking my medications 2 hours late due to my 12-hour work day yesterday. I have to report early for physical behavior management training and CPR (again! I did it in November, but they have decided that I have to do it again - I am not happy). After that, we have a faculty meeting and a pizza luncheon sponsored by the Executive Team. I am not able to participate in food-based events due to a strange response to the water in the town where I work. So, I will make my appearance and then skedaddle from the lunch. I am curious to see if anyone from the Executive Team will actually be at the luncheon. I forget how much my medication affects me until these days. My eyes don't focus right, and I am overly tired until the medication wears off a bit. It is always interesting to track when my medication wears off. I feel more pain but my brain goes faster and processes information better when it reaches its end. I fully credit this...

Today is the last 12 hour day of my school year. It is parent-teacher conference evening for my school, so I will be completely alone despite a recent curiosity about what students do during school from parents involved in a support group. No one will come to the music therapy room to discuss their students, and if they do, they will tell me what instruments they want their students to learn to play. I did hear our school social worker stating to a guest that "one of the differences between other public schools and our school is that our music and art programs are therapies. We have an art therapist and a music therapist instead of teachers." After 29 years, the school social worker FINALLY gets that my job is different from the local music educators! Hooray!! I got an "atta girl" in the hallway on Monday morning when the quality assurance person stopped me by the printer to tell me that he had recently heard that I do more than just play a guitar during music thera...

It's Wednesday of this Spring Forward week, and it has hit me hard. I was okay the first three days of this week, but today I was struggling to open my eyes and find any sort of enthusiasm about leaving my bed. It doesn't help that this is the week before break, I still have a 12 hour day tomorrow, and a day of professional development with arthritic knees and spine ahead of me. Everything is just seeming more and more difficult to navigate - and it is all stress that I put on myself!! So, to distract me from all the senses of stress and doom that I am feeling due to my timing and need to get things organized that will not be organized no matter what, here is what I've been reading lately.  I turned in my last batch of library books on Sunday, so I am tackling my To Be Read pile. I bought BIG books this last time. There is a Jane Austen omnibus waiting for me to bite the bullet and dive back into the world of Victorian romance and courtship. That is not my favorite world to...

As someone who is constantly thinking about my finances, I have had to learn lots of lessons the hard way. You know that way - you get over enthusiastic and then end up in trouble with money. As someone who has been in that type of situation more than once, I have established some Thrifty Therapist rules when it comes to money, finances, and being able to eat meat at meals rather than cheap macaroni and cheese. Gather 'round, children, as MJ goes into a story of money and woe. As a music therapist who is conditioned towards packratiness (I am making this a word!), I tend to want everything. If I see a cool instrument, I want one. If I see some fun toys, I want them. It is something that I have to fight on a regular basis because I tend to take them all. This is not a good thing. I now have what I call the "Are You Serious?" Rule - When I see something I set a price that I am willing to pay in my head before I look at the price tag. If the price on the tag is at or less th...

I hate this time of year. I hate it when we change our clocks yet again "to get an extra hour of sunlight" which is totally NOT true - we get the same amount of sunlight no matter what. We just artificially change when that sunlight happens. It is frustrating and is not something that I enjoy at all! This time of year, I feel rushed because my time in the morning changes. While it is already 5:40am, it does not feel like it. This is the problem with this time change. I am just now getting my non-fuzzy brain going, and it is almost time to go to work. When I was living with my Bella-cat, she was not excited about changing our routine. The people that I know who farm find these time changes ridiculous since their animals do not recognize clocks and do not change their behaviors to suit us. I just wonder why we continue to do this. I wonder. So, it is rapidly becoming time for me to go to work, but I really am not ready to go to work. I have to get my act together because it is ...