Day Seven: Progress?? Perhaps.
Day six ended up with some progress down here in the office area. I emptied a couple of boxes, moved some shelves around, put things into boxes, and set up my robot vacuum. I also made burritos for breakfast and then just watched television the rest of the day. I bet today's to-do and got-done list will be similar. I have to add getting my trash cans from the curb to the things to do today, but other than that, I have no plans other than making a bit more sense of my home environment.
I have three more bins down here in the office to go through. I have ordered box cutters since I can't find them where I currently shop. I have a yen to make some greeting cards to send to friends. I want to be creating things, but I am struggling to make the time when my environment is not looking clean and clear. So, I will be doing some cleaning and clearing before crafting.
This has been an okay break. I have finished some of the tasks on my to-do list. I have added significantly more tasks to that same list. That's the way all of my breaks end up being - a never ending list of things to do. I am trying to gather up my resolve to go back to work for the next nine weeks. We will not have any breaks at all until a week off between the "regular" school year and our "extended" school year. I have a medical procedure that my family is coming out to help me with during that week off so it won't really be a break where I can rest. I have to get my rest in where I can, so I am trying not to feel bad about what the upstairs looks like right at this moment.
That guilt is a powerful force in my life. I always feel guilty that my house is not Pinterest Perfect. It never will be. I do not live a minimalist's life, but that is what I envision as perfection. The problem is that I want my stuff, too - I have lots of stuff!
I am working on allowing myself to feel less guilty about these things, but it is a struggle, as you can read in these recent posts. I hope that I get better at both cleaning and at allowing myself to be imperfect. I don't accept imperfection in myself easily. I never have. It may have something to do with being the oldest child of an oldest child of an oldest child (and, possibly more generations than that going back), but I think there is more to it than just that. This is the thing that I try to change about myself more than anything else, and it is the thing that I fail at more often than not.
I made the bed in my upstairs bedroom yesterday. I still haven't moved down here where it is cooler. I don't want to move to the darkness of this downstairs room, but I want to be cool when I sleep. It's a quandary that has no good solution. Do I stay in the sunny, large room where it gets very warm or do I move to the dark, cooler room that feels so much more cramped? Silly thing to be stressing about, but that's how I am at the moment. Stressing about silly things.
Time to head into the cleaning portion of today. I need absolutely nothing more in my house. I am going to do some things - working until my body starts to hurt - and see what else I can get crossed off my to-do list. I also have some things on my not-to-do list to accomplish. We will see what I finish in the next three days. I am not ready to leave my house for work yet. It is an inevitability, though, so I have to get ready to leave. This next week is choice/musicians of the month week, so I have little to prepare for my sessions. In four days from now, I will be at work at this time, getting ready to dive through emails and things that are unrelated to my actual job, but that's part of the existence of music therapists as well.
Time to clean. See you tomorrow for a Saturday-type post?
Comments
Post a Comment