Day Eight of Nine: More Questions Than Answers These Days

Today has been a challenging day already. Something I ate yesterday did not agree with my intestinal tract, so I am now trying to figure out which new thing (I had three new things yesterday) was the culprit while still trying to maintain a bit of decorum.

I just saw that a job that I was invited to apply for, went on an interview, and then was completely ghosted about is open again. I am confused and disgusted about how this job was handled, especially about the ghosting part of it all. To be honest, I would not be able to take the job due to the dismal salary, but I wonder why no one ever interacted with me ever again - not even a "no thank you" letter to close the inquiry. Now, they want other people to go through the process again? At least it means that the other candidate also did not get the job or did not want it. I wonder if they let that person know anything or if they were left hanging the same way I was left hanging.

I now have more questions about things than answers, and I am not sure what the protocol is for seeking answers to my questions. Do I reach out to the person who initially invited me to apply to see why no one ever reached out again? The thought of that just makes me nauseous - or that may be residual effects of my culinary mishaps yesterday. I just don't know.

Ultimately, though, I cannot control how other people treat me. I can only control my reactions and responses. So, I am not going to reapply - the salary is horrific for the amount of work that they are requesting - and I will not be suckered into trying again. Burn me once. You will not get another opportunity.

The problem with this statement is that I want it to be true, but it will circulate in my head over and over for the remainder of the day. This circulation increases when my body is not in control of itself like this morning. So, I just let thoughts move around and around and around. There is little happening right now to distract me. I am trying a new television show, but I am not sure it is for me. I am halfway through a book. I am hungry (I think), but I am hesitant about putting more food into my digestion system at the moment. There are absolutely NO movies that I am interested in seeing, and I went shopping yesterday so don't need anything. I might try another round of sleeping here in a bit. I would like an extension of my sleeping existence, but who knows if that will happen...

Today is the last weekend of my break. I have chores to do (always have chores to do) and things to think about. I have not set up my new robot vacuum, so that's something to do today. I also need to do dishes and laundry. I will make a small grocery order to pick up tomorrow, and then I will figure out anything else that I need to get done before heading to work on Monday for the next nine weeks. I need to make some food to pack and more food to heat up. I wanted to make pizza during this break, so I am going to do that today.

For now, my digestion seems to have settled down a bit, so I may risk some food. Grocery order is finished. I'll pick it up tomorrow morning. I have my list of things to get done started, so it is time to get going. Happy Saturday.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Songwriting Sunday: Client Goals First and Foremost

Image
When I am writing music, I tend to do one of two things. I either start with a specific client in mind and write for that client's goals and objectives, or I start with an idea and let the idea grow regardless of the clients that I am serving at the time. I spend time with lots of hypothetical clients - thinking about the vast number of clients and their unique goals as I develop songs and therapeutic music experiences (TMEs). Today, though, I would like to start with the first focus - that of a specific client and his or her or their goals. Currently, I am sharing a wall with a class of students who are experiencing lots of life and school changes. Two students have transferred from residential care to home care and are now day students. One student is brand new to the classroom. Another student recently left the class. All of these changes have shifted the dynamics in the classroom group, and old behaviors of concern have reemerged as well as finding new behaviors to contribute. ...
Read more

Dear AMTA

Dear American Music Therapy Association: I am debating long and hard about remaining in this relationship. I have been in this relationship since college, and this is not a decision that I am taking lightly or without great cost.  I am not happy with what you are bringing to this relationship. Now, I have been a selfish partner over the past several years - mainly because I am not feeling like we share a common mission anymore. It is easy for me to place the blame on you, but I know that this is not all on me. I have tried to be invested in communication and support and understanding, but everyone comes to a time where enough is enough. I am trying very hard to decide if the benefits that you provide to me are worth the feelings that I have about where I think you and I are going. I am not sure that our destination is the same anymore, and this makes me sad. To be completely honest, I am only in this relationship these days for the music therapy interns. I don't think that is a hea...
Read more

Being An Internship Director: On Hiatus

Image
It has been long enough since I have had an intern that I am seriously feeling like I have little to say on the subject. At the same time, I am currently writing Chapter 5 of my general internship handbook, so I am able to write about being an intern and what types of things to think about during this important time in our professional development. It is a strange place to be in, and it is one that is a bit challenging for me. Right now, I have had three vacant internship positions since the beginning of the calendar year. I will have a vacant position next month and that will be an entire year of rejected offers. In the past nine months, I have offered positions to three applicants who have declined. It is interesting how people complain that there aren't enough internship programs, but programs like mine are empty. I guess there aren't enough internship programs that pay large stipends (which mine cannot) out there. I get it. It is interesting to me how we have moved from an ...
Read more