music, therapy, and me

We are finally into the last bit of the "regular" school year. I always have to put this clarification into these types of posts because my job includes an extended school year which means that I work more than the "regular" teacher does. We do not have a choice about whether we work the extended school year. It is expected, so it is just what we do. I digress. We have 21 days left before we get to the end of the school year. After that time, we get 13 days off before we come back for one day, have a three-day weekend, and then start back up again in our summer schedule - four days of work. We have a seven-week summer school schedule before we get a week off and then start up the next "regular" school year. In the middle of summer, we get an additional week off. It makes summer scheduling interesting. I, as always, wish that things were different. With just under two weeks off at any given time, I never really feel ready to go back to work. When I first st...

Yesterday, I sat down and wrote a long post about how I was feeling depressed and burned out completely with even the thought of having to work. I didn't publish it because there are times when my writing is just too raw for me to share. I left my home under a waning moon and drove to work. During my drive, I had a grief moment overtake me, so I was sobbing about the last Christmas and how my Dad cried when I gave him some computer speakers (because he knew he was dying and I think he realized he would never get to use those speakers), and it overwhelmed me. It still does as I am sitting here crying as well. I am not sleeping well and everything just seems to pile up until I can't move. Then I got to work. I slogged through my documentation for five groups and the individual session that I did on Tuesday, prepared myself for my two groups of leading and the three groups that my intern is currently taking over (but hasn't completely moved into leadership so I still have to a...

So, here it is. Tuesday again, and the return of my TME Tuesdays. Several years ago, I wrote TMEs every single Tuesday and shared them with readers on this blog. I decided to stop doing that for a myriad of reasons, but mostly because of some of the attitudes of other music therapists on social media complaining that they did not want to pay for the intellectual property of other music therapists - that the other music therapists should just give them whatever they wanted at any time. I don't think that is appropriate - after all, the original music therapist had to spend the time, energy, and effort to create, so that author should receive recognition and recompense for that time, energy, and effort. Since I still feel that my intellectual property has value, I am not going to publish TMEs (TME stands for Therapeutic Music Experience, by the way - the term I choose to use for what I do with clients in sessions) the way I did before, but I will tell you the general portions of thes...

This has been an interesting and long morning already. I woke up a bit after midnight the way I've been waking up lately - at random times during the night - fully awake and thinking about some paperwork that I had forgotten needed to get done. Rather than avoiding that paperwork and then being unable to get back to sleep, I got up and finished the two tasks that I needed to get done and then went back to bed. I had a bit under three hours left before my usual (nope, can't say that) regular (been anything except that recently) desired (that will work, even though I wish I could sleep in a bit more) rising time. I wish I could figure out exactly why I am having interrupted sleep these days. There seem to be inconsistent cues that waken me. A couple of nights ago, one of my neighbors (not the exorcism neighbors, but some other ones) turned on car lights right into my window, played loud music, and then left around 2am. Other times, like last night, I was hot. The window was ope...

I am once again sitting in front of my keyboard, staring at the blinking cursor, wondering what I will be writing about in the next hour or so. I don't know if you noticed, but I didn't write much last week. I just couldn't for some reason. Now, this doesn't mean that I didn't do anything last week - I actually composed several songs, figured out several conundrums, and completed lots of things on my task lists. I limited my YouTube watching at work and found some more productive tasks to accomplish. So, overall, it was a good week. I am not sure why blogging went by the wayside, but it did. It is a bit silly, actually, that I have these types of blocks. This blog is not meant to be anything extremely research-based or even all that important to other people, but it is a place for me to write about my journey through life as a music therapist. There are some times when I focus a bit more on the "me" part of "music, therapy, and me" than on the ot...

There are five more weeks of school for this term before a week and half off and then back to the summer school grind. Thirty-two days between me and a bit of time off. That seems both brief and like an eternity at the exact same time. In the next five weeks, I have an intern to get into a caseload and routine, students to sing and play instruments with, and a house to pack up...just in case. I put an offer in on a house last night. We will see if it is accepted and if it is, then I will kick into high gear with the packing and arrangements and a storage space to put boxes in to hold until the house is ready to accommodate the leasing agent coming in and showing the apartment. If it isn't accepted, then I will keep going on my quest to find a new place to live. I am tired this morning. I accidentally took a nap late yesterday afternoon, and that messed with my sleep patterns last night. I am dragging myself around today after tossing and turning all night. I even laid in my bed wit...

Looking for houses is an interesting exercise. I have been starting to find interesting traits in how I think about life events, and looking for houses has been a revealing process in this self-exploration.  I have always been somewhat unconcerned about how things look. When I go car shopping, I am a salesperson's dream - I want a certain payment and will not haggle because I hate that process. I know that I do not want a red or black car and that I do want a stick shift, so if something can be found that fits those criteria then I am good to go. I can't do quite the same thing as a home buyer, I find. My realtor and everyone else I talk to about all this tells me that I will know when I get home. I think I got close yesterday when I went to see a strangely shaped house that hit almost all of my "don't want to deal with" points. I don't think I am completely there yet, but I am getting closer. Here's what I know I want - high ceilings, rectangular bathroom...

There was no post yesterday because I have recently enjoyed [sarcasm] my first ever Cortisone shots. Yep. I've managed to go for my entire life without this particular [more] pleasure. Let me tell you, I am NOT a fan, but I am assured that this should make my fingers a bit less likely to click when I am trying to use them, so... The problem with it all is that it is difficult to play a guitar when your fingers have swollen to the point where you cannot bend them to even 45 degrees. I had to figure out what to do with my clients yesterday that did not involve playing instruments - and frankly, that avoided having to move my hand at all. I figured that it was time for a movie day, so that's what we did. Disney movies to the rescue - I love Disney musicals and Pixar shorts and older Disney Silly Symphonies for these types of days. If asked, I can justify showing these movies within my medium of music, and my clients get them. We were watching Mickey and the Beanstalk yesterday an...

It is the end of my goal period for myself, and I am ready to review what I have done over the past month. To recap, (if you are a regular reader, first of all THANK YOU, and second of all, you can skip the rest of this paragraph...) I decided several months back that making monthly goals around the first of the month was not really working out for me. My patterns and cycles usually mean that I feel pretty positive and happy towards the beginning of the month (that's when most of the full moons are happening this year) and less inclined to complete goals in the middle of the month when my negative cycles and patterns arrive. Goals that I made when feeling positive were impossible to accomplish in my negativity. So, I switched my goal periods around a bit and have found that this schedule is better for actually accomplishing my goals. So, I tend to do my monthly reviews around the 14th and then I establish the goals that I want to accomplish and start them all up on the 15th. Today ...

"Life is pain, your highness." - The Dread Pirate Roberts, The Princess Bride I am a big fan of The Princess Bride , both the movie AND the book by William Goldman, and for some reason, the name of the Dread Pirate Roberts popped into my head this morning. It has been a rough night - I kept waking up for unknown reasons - and this is Tuesday which usually means some rougher sessions, so I am primed for an interesting day. So, now I am trying to figure out how to incorporate The Dread Pirate Roberts into my blog because the universe is insisting on it!  If you haven't watched this movie, then you need to do so. That's all. GO SEE THE MOVIE! Now, how do I explain all of this without spoiling the movie for newbies?? Hmm. Here I go... Throughout the movie, the Dread Pirate Roberts plays a role. The character inspires fear in those who hear the very name, and this reputation for being ruthless is a big part of the story. This pirate terrorizes the countries in question and...

I was injured back in late August and ended up breaking my left ring finger and ruining a tendon in my left middle finger. I have been through a series of treatments including splinting, Occupational Therapy, and lots of x-rays in the past eight months. I have had to set down the instruments, refrain from picking up things heavier than 1 pound, and figure out how to do my job when I cannot play guitar or piano. I had to figure out how to navigate changes in my job due to the pandemic through changes in my job due to my health status. It has been grueling at times. My hand doctor and Occupational Therapists are pleased with the ways that my fingers are bending. I am not. I still have significant pain in those two fingers. There is a droop in my left middle fingertip that I cannot straighten. In addition, I am starting to feel some clicks in my center finger joints that cannot be good - in fact, I've been told that they are the start of a condition called "trigger finger" t...

Time for another post based on a random blog topic generator - welcome to the "Mistake" edition of music, therapy, and me. So, gather 'round, music therapists, to hear my song of woe. Listen well, and strive to learn from my example of mistakes and more... Over my 28 years of being a professional music therapist, I have made more mistakes than I like to admit, but that's part of my mission with this blog - being honest about the good and not so good things that happen in this chosen life, so here goes... Never, EVER - use a new song during an audition - If you are doing an audition for a job or for an internship position, use songs that you know so well that your brain can run your accompaniment without active thought. Does this sound strange to you?? Seriously. If you go into an audition where you have to lead therapeutic music experiences (TMEs), you will want your music to be almost routine. Nothing is worse than trying to remember how a melody line goes with the c...

Am I the only music therapist in the world who still has books upon books of CDs? I hope not. I hope that many therapists still have CDs and make CDs of legally purchased albums to use with clients. I broke my Spotify computer last week, so we have been exploring the CD library that I have at work. I keep CDs there for the days when I am gone and clients still want music to listen to in their session time. Since the computer is broken, I am using old music in my sessions with my clients, and it has been an interesting exercise. Usually, listening to preferred music is a reward for completing "work" in my sessions. I work with adolescents, and they tolerate my singing their preferred music, but they state over and over again that they prefer the original artists' versions of songs. Rather than taking this personally, I agree with them. While I enjoy singing songs by various performers, I think that those performers do a better job of singing (and I like their arrangements)...

Tonight is the night! The long-awaited, "it's finally here" event that I have been anticipating for a very long time is tonight. I have to remember to leave work at an early (for me) time so I can get into the presentation with time to spare! So, what has me in such a fan-girl tizzy? Well, I get to listen to two women talk about books tonight - The Bloggess and Felicia Day!! I am thrilled that I was able to get a ticket and that I listened to my heart when it said, "This is something that you need to do." I am hoping that this will be fun and engaging. This has been a good example of delayed gratification for me. I bought an event ticket several months ago, and the day is finally here. I have forgotten about this appointment several times, but I put it in my planner, so... I am hoping that my copy of The Bloggess' new book will be at my door when I get home this evening, but I think it is scheduled to arrive tomorrow.  SQEEEE - sorry, fan-girl moment!! The B...

I took a day off from work yesterday to catch up on some professional development that I have neglected lately. I spent most of the day waiting for the link to the sessions that I wanted - one of the things that happens when you do your development on a day when the other registrant in your party works in a different time zone - but I did get to see some of the sessions that I have highlighted. I have more to watch today, and I am looking forward to it. The best session from yesterday's viewing was a discussion from Jennifer Gonzalez, the editor of the blog Cult of Pedagogy . This is one of the blogs that I have followed in the past - I don't much at the moment because I do not like how the blog is arranged - just me being picky - but the information shared is always thought provoking for me. The presentation from yesterday was exactly what has been floating around in the back of my mind for the last 13 months -  How will we take the lessons that we have learned about what we h...

I did it. I missed an important, self-imposed deadline, and I just didn't even think about it coming up at all until after the deadline had passed and I realized that it was gone... I hate that. I hate it when I miss things, especially things that are tied to a deadline. Now, my mess up is not horrible nor is it something that will ruin me, but it did make me stop and think a bit about what types of things I have been focusing on lately. My missed deadline was a direct function of not looking in my book - where the deadline is prominently displayed on yesterday's date!! So, I sent out an email to folks last night, apologizing for my mistake and promising the completed project by tomorrow morning. That gives me a bit of breathing room, but not too much. I have a fear of letting others down - comes from being a perfectionist with a strong work ethic, I guess. I get very disappointed in myself when I miss deadlines (like I did today), even when others probably didn't notice. I...

I am doing it. I am taking two professional development days in the middle of this week to finish up some training that I have signed up for and have not been able to access because I just haven't had the timing right. My intern will be in training this week, so it is the perfect time to take two days off to do some of my own. This is a perk of my job. I get some days every year for professional development beyond the inservice training that the school offers and requires. It is nice to have some flexibility with my training days, and I am going to take Wednesday and Thursday to catch up with my training hours. My facility does not pay any of the fees associated with training access, but they do count my hours as work time, so I get paid for them. This year's professional focus is on telehealth. I am learning about what others can and cannot do as educators so I can enrich my clinical presence in this area. This has little relevance to how my primary job has been going in this ...

It is early on this Sunday morning, and I am sitting in the semi-darkness, wondering what to write about. I have a blog post title generator that I occasionally use to help me find a way, and this was the suggested title that caught my fancy - Will Music Therapy Ever Rule the World? Ooh, boy! Here is my completely unsolicited opinion that has nothing to do with what you might think but is my right to hold and espouse to anyone who listens. Feel free to agree with me or disagree with me. We can debate this until the cows come home, if you would like, but I am just as entitled to my opinion as any one else is - and I will fight for the right for you to offer up your opinion, even if I feel that your view is incorrect (again, in my opinion!). Are you ready? Here it is. No. Music Therapy will never rule the world. How can it? How can music therapy, a profession which is growing in awareness and acceptance, be something that is universal? There are several things that are keeping us from wo...

It is currently 5:19 am, and I am watching YouTube videos while planning my later morning and trying to figure out how to do some things with my Instagram channel - something I am perplexed about on a regular basis. One of my personal goals for this next quarter is to be a bit more purposeful about posting things on my music therapy Instagram channel - musictherapyworkslandaker - so that I can continue to share the things that I have to offer the music therapy world out there. Today's post was a link to the blog post from yesterday, so readers here already know what's in my April box!! Whoo-hoo! Yesterday was a long day, but a good one. Clients did what I asked, we made some fun music together, I finished some of my goals for the day and found some satisfaction in finishing things that have long gone unfinished. Back to quarterly goals again - I have decided that I want to use my work hours more productively, so I am going to work on TME development, visual aid completion, and ...

Every month, I walk to my front closet and take out one of my monthly boxes. In these scrapbooking boxes, I store month-specific visual aids, books, songs, and TME ideas to use during the month. There are lots of things in some of the boxes, and less things in others, but this is a place where I can store holiday-related things until they are appropriate to use. I opened April’s box towards the end of March to see what types of things were in it to use. It was pretty dismal to begin with – one Easter book, some empty animal eggs, and not much else to work with. My March box, on the other hand, had lots of books and visuals for St. Patrick’s Day and Spring things. That’s the way this storage goes – sometimes there are lots of things to use and other times there is just lots of space. I looked around me for some things I could include in the box for this upcoming month. As you know, I have recently reacquired some storage space in my music therapy clinic that had originally had a d...