That Rush of...Something

This has been an interesting and long morning already. I woke up a bit after midnight the way I've been waking up lately - at random times during the night - fully awake and thinking about some paperwork that I had forgotten needed to get done. Rather than avoiding that paperwork and then being unable to get back to sleep, I got up and finished the two tasks that I needed to get done and then went back to bed. I had a bit under three hours left before my usual (nope, can't say that) regular (been anything except that recently) desired (that will work, even though I wish I could sleep in a bit more) rising time.

I wish I could figure out exactly why I am having interrupted sleep these days. There seem to be inconsistent cues that waken me. A couple of nights ago, one of my neighbors (not the exorcism neighbors, but some other ones) turned on car lights right into my window, played loud music, and then left around 2am. Other times, like last night, I was hot. The window was open, but there was no breeze, so I turned on the fan. After that, I shivered the rest of the night. I am still cold.

Usually, once I am up, I am up and I do not sleep again. The last couple of nights, though, I have managed to doze a bit and dream as well. I don't usually remember my dreams, so the fact that I have remembered my most recent dreams is quite special. Some of them have been about my Dad recently, and my Mom was in the one this morning. 

When I finally pulled myself out of bed this morning around my desired wake-up time, I was very cold and got dressed for the weather. We are supposed to be hitting the 80's (F) today, so it's a light uniform shirt and capris for me. I came back to the computer and found a comment that full moons affect a friend of mine the same way. I am not sure that this is full moon related, but it could be. I've been having a bit more of an interruption than the moon would explain. By the way, the moon will be full this evening at 10ish pm Central Standard Time. I wonder if I will be awake or asleep when it becomes entirely full tonight. I am hoping that I will be asleep!

Today is a day where I get lots of time to work on individual projects and planning. My intern is taking over group leadership, so she will be running two of the three groups that are scheduled today. I have one individual session as well as one group session to lead. So, I have lots of additional time for planning, organizing, writing music, and trying to finish up specific tasks. One of my tasks is to finalize my new schedule (hooray) that starts on June 3rd. My friend, the Art Therapist, put it together and changed things up a bit. All the sessions start on the hour or the half hour (no more looking to see which time each session ends). I have more consistency with when I have sessions (no more having a completely different session schedule every single day). I also have more sessions in the mornings most days than the afternoons. The only thing to complain about (and believe me, I am keeping mum because I got everything else that I needed) is that I have two hours straight of sessions without a break most mornings. This will be a test of my aging bladder, but I will take it for the changes that are coming!

I am going to finalize the schedule this morning - identifying which sessions will be my intern's sessions and which ones will be mine. The nice thing is that I already have my school year schedule as well. Hallelujah! Things will change a bit, but not much from this schedule to the next one. That is another good thing about having one of the specials service providers making the schedule rather than the special education coordinator and the behaviorist making the schedule. 

One of my typical Monday tasks is to strategize sessions for the week. Right now, Monday is the only day where I do not see a group from 8:45-9:45 (that will change on June 3rd, so my strategizing sessions will move to Fridays where I prefer them to be) so I spend some time on Monday morning thinking about specific TMEs that I want to share with clients during the week. As always, my strategies are flexible to accommodate student needs and group dynamics, but I do like having an idea of what materials I want to have available to me during music therapy sessions. Last week we sang a song about True/False statements. Group members had to listen to sung prompts and then indicate their answer with instruments. For some of my groups, I set up a life-sized board game as well so each student had a time in the center of the group and then moving their game piece from one end of the board to the other. I love games for my reticent high schoolers who think they are too cool for all things school, but especially for music! The popularity of this one surprised me, but that is pretty typical for ideas around here.

I have already put together some ideas for the next several weeks. Next week is Star Wars week, because, May the Fourth, so my R2-D2 will be heading to school with me. We will do some light saber conducting and flashlight constellation stuff as well - all accompanied by John Williams' music, of course! Mr. Williams' music lends itself really well to a discussion about the orchestra as a group as well. This week, though, will have a different focus. We are going to focus ourselves on the program, "The Zones of Regulation," which is what our social worker uses to address emotion and coping skill development. We haven't done this for a bit, so it is time to bring it back out, especially as we enter the last four weeks of our regular school year. We will be using Orff instruments to improvise several of the Zones. We will also play another game - either Doggie, Doggie, Where's Your Bone or Hot and Cold.

I am feeling pretty confident about my session strategies for the rest of the year. I may use this type of planning for the summer sessions as well. We have two separate sessions - one is four weeks and one is three weeks long. I can return to my pattern/structure of long ago - one instrument to explore, one musician to experience, one coping skill to remember, and one musical concept to learn about. I have found that organizing myself in this way seems to keep things percolating in my brain. I don't think my clients really care or even notice, but it gives me a sense of pattern and structure. A couple of summers ago, I ran a program focused on Saint-Saens' Carnival of the Animals. It was nice to have a format already set. I don't want to do that again right now, but I do like having a format. Knowing what I want to get done and then seeing what I can get done with the clients who enter my session.

It all gets back to one of my favorite quotations of all time - from Sister Corita Kent - 

Structures are restraints - a way of limiting. What you can build within restraints and structures is almost limitless.

Isn't that a beautiful thought? That structures provide us with boundaries but that creativity can survive those limits and restraints? This forms my philosophy of what I want out of my life - I like structures and boundaries. I enjoy knowing where something begins and ends. I also like having the freedom to do whatever I want to do within those beginnings and endings.

I need to put that quotation up in my work office. It has never lived there for some reason, but it has been part of my home office since I first found it back in the mid-90s. It is time to put it in the place where I find the most strict boundaries in my life experience - my current job. This quotation is a good reminder that even within restraints, there are opportunities for creation and growth.

I will be taking that thought to work with me today.

Happy Full Moon day, Monday, and April 26th!!