Clicks in My Fingers - This Can't Be Good...

I was injured back in late August and ended up breaking my left ring finger and ruining a tendon in my left middle finger. I have been through a series of treatments including splinting, Occupational Therapy, and lots of x-rays in the past eight months. I have had to set down the instruments, refrain from picking up things heavier than 1 pound, and figure out how to do my job when I cannot play guitar or piano. I had to figure out how to navigate changes in my job due to the pandemic through changes in my job due to my health status. It has been grueling at times.

My hand doctor and Occupational Therapists are pleased with the ways that my fingers are bending. I am not. I still have significant pain in those two fingers. There is a droop in my left middle fingertip that I cannot straighten. In addition, I am starting to feel some clicks in my center finger joints that cannot be good - in fact, I've been told that they are the start of a condition called "trigger finger" that will probably require surgery at some point. I can't get my fingers to click when I am around the doctor or the OT. It is very frustrating to have things happen one way when I am alone and a completely different way when I am in the presence of folks who can do something about it.

In spite of all of this, I am playing the guitar again during sessions. I am trying to do the things that I have loved in the past - I am crocheting again, making books and journals, playing the piano, and trying to get things done that I have neglected because I could only use one hand. These are good first steps. I force myself to use my fingers because that's what I've been told to do - to push my fingers to work the way I need them to work so I get used to the pain (I guess).

So, me and my clicking fingers are going to head to work to do music therapy with my scheduled clients. I am going to spend some time cutting things out and using a time blocking process that seems to work pretty well for me while I am at work. I will be talking to my intern about training last week and will observe as she starts her therapeutic journey by leading her first opening TMEs with clients. It's time to get started and get into this week. I will be going to OT on Tuesday for an evaluation session and then to the doctor on Wednesday morning for an evaluation. Let's hope that I can get my fingers to click the way I need so the doctor can feel what is happening. I have a day off on Friday. 

Time to go. This will end up being what it is - no reason to worry or fret about it. I will keep my fingers moving as much as I can until something happens - no more pain or full out trigger fingers. Then, we will get it fixed. It will be what it will be, and I will continue to go on.

Click. Click. Click.