Ranting

This is a politics-focused post. If you are not someone who is disgusted by the things happening in the United States right now, then please skip reading this post.

I cannot stay silent.

It is only day 77 of this governmental regime, and I am already exhausted of all the ups and downs that are happening around us all. I feel paralyzed between the constant calls for actions that are not what I feel I can do and the feelings of guilt and shame that come with inaction. There are so many feelings that happen that I try my best to find what I can do while still remaining true to myself.

I am someone who has a job that is school-based, special education service, and funded through categorical aid offered due to the types of clients who attend school at my facility. While no one has come out and said anything about security, there is a constant storm happening in the distance that threatens the last year of my school-based job. I am constantly waiting for someone to call me into their office and tell me that they will have to cut my job due to changes in funding for special education services.

I am doing the things that worked for me during the last misguided regime - I have gone into tunnel vision mode. I no longer listen to morning news or afternoon news. I get most of my current events from social media headlines, and I read through them all with a hypercritical eye. I do not believe anything from anyone. I am extremely skeptical about any news source. Everyone is all about the clicks these days, so headlines mean very little other than a way to sensationalize what articles are about. I consider every source very deeply. I try to educate myself using primary sources rather than what so-and-so said about what so-and-so did.

The worst part of all of this, at least for me, is that I still have to go about my usual routine with things happening in the microcosm that I inhabit while things happen in the macrocosm that will eventually change my environment. The main question that I have is "will I get to retirement before the axe falls?"

Only time will tell.

Sorry for putting some politics into this post. I just have to express my feelings every once in a while.