music, therapy, and me

It is the last day that I can sleep in for about two months. Spring Break is over as of this evening, so I will be returning to my work routine for three months and a week more before I will retire from this job and start my next music therapy iteration. I have had a busy week of appointments and spending money like I have it. My car is aligned and the brake fluid has been replaced. I have my taxes submitted and refunds on the way. I am feeling confident in my financial situation, and I have plans swirling around in my head for what comes next. I took some time to play with paper and made a small book. It has been a pretty good break. I also missed a meeting that I was supposed to run, so there is that.  Yesterday, I had a peer supervision meeting, constructed some shelves for the library room, and finished a book by Mercedes Lackey. I made a big breakfast and had a pizza bowl for dinner. I also ordered new shoes, new shopping bags, and some more shelves. I will be going grocery sh...

Oh, no, here I go again, trying to find something new to keep my brain going and not atrophying from lack of use. As the reality of moving from full-time employment to something else entirely is getting closer to actually happening (lots of discussions with different people about this topic this week and more to come). I alternate between panic and excitement, anticipation and absolute terror, and all the other emotions as I think about what will happen on July 1. Meanwhile, I still have three months and a week to go before this becomes a reality. In the meantime, I am getting ready to release a new thing via my website (ugh, the website needs SO much work - put it on the list!). For a long time, I have wanted to put together a subscription box - themed or goal-based - for music therapists. About the time I wanted to start this up, I found a company who was doing just that, so I did not pursue the idea further and just subscribed to Music Therapy Mailings. They have since discontinued ...

I have not written much lately. No reasons why, just not really in the mood to sit and write about music, therapy, or me in the past week or so. What I have been doing instead is reading books - all sorts of mindless books that just keep my brain occupied but do not really add too much to my knowledge. I will go to the library today because I am at the end of my most recent book. It is a good time to introduce new reading materials into my environment. Lately, I have been watching lots of book journaling content creators. I am not interested in making my own book journal (too much like the book reports that I hated all through school), but I enjoy watching people decorate theirs. I am also making some book journals, but I will not be using them. I find the book journal videos to be simultaneously pretty and ridiculous, but I am drawn to them over and over again. I wonder if I would be more inclined to read music therapy journal articles or texts if I was more into book journaling - mak...

I missed a meeting yesterday, and that is the worst thing I can do for my well-being and peace of mind. I hate when that happens. I hate it when my brain just forgets things and don't do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. What a great way to start off this break! I have two appointments today - one to get the dishwasher fixed (hopefully it will actually get fixed today) and one for my medical health. I am just trying my best to get from one thing to the next this week. It won't be an actual break away from obligations. Tomorrow's appointment is with my financial advisor - I have to figure out how I am going to survive come July.  Argh. I am frustrated by myself and my lack of remembering the meeting that I had scheduled.

I dragged my body out of bed this morning at 4:15 am because it has to be done. I have to get into a routine of getting up and getting going during these early morning hours for this week before a week where I do not have to be up this early. I think that this is cruel and unusual punishment. In addition, this is a week with a 12-hour day in it, so that means late night medication, medication side effects, and late arrival at work for a kid-day the next day. There is so much that is wrong with this week, but it all starts with the time change. I woke up with an actual aural alarm this morning. This is unusual for me. Music in my environment tends to be startling, so I use a light to help me get up. I am usually awake before the light turns on, but not always. The change in the light environment helps me wake up. I think my father is responsible for this. He used to tell me it was time to get up by turning on my bedroom light when I was younger. As much as I pleaded that he turn on the ...

This is one of my least favorite days of the year - the day where we spring forward and mess with time. I don't understand it, the number of hours of daylight do not change at all, it doesn't help the farmers, and there doesn't seem to be any reason to continue to go through this process of changing time, but it continues. I am tired already, and it has only been one morning. Ugh. 

I am in the middle of the World Music in the Classroom Summit and also had a peer supervision session with a fellow music therapist earlier today, and I am finding some inspiration for my blog post a bit later than usual today. In the 11 minutes between sessions, I will try to put some of my ideas down here. One of the things that has struck me as I am watching music educators talk about their musical passions is that my own change significantly based on day, hour, and minute. Not to mention the changes that have happened over the weeks, months, years, and decades of being a professional music therapist. It is often interesting to look back on the things that I found interesting back when I was brand new and compare them to the things that I find interesting now. I think about this as finding my "why." Why do I enjoy my job? Why do I enjoy being a music therapist? Why do I engage in continuing education topics? Why do I want to do things like content creation and information ...

Yesterday, as I was scrolling my Instagram feed, I found a notification about an education summit all about global music that is starting this afternoon and will go until Sunday. I signed up, and I am getting ready for this conference with a professional development day. I bought Mexican food for this time, and I am now getting ready to uncover my notebook for continuing education and settle into my computer area to watch things unfold. (See yesterday's post for the link to the conference!) To prepare for this conference (which is NOT a music therapy conference but that works with one of my interests as a music therapist and content creator), I am not doing anything all that specific or taxing. I am resting this morning so I will be ready for the information overload that will be happening later on today. From 10-5 my time for the next two days, I will be listening to ways to bring in more world music into my music therapy sessions.  I am looking forward to this. Elementary music e...

I was scrolling around Instagram this morning and found a FREE world music summit opportunity, so I signed up! As you may know, I do a "Country of the Month" theme in my music therapy sessions. Each month, I feature the music and some of the cultural elements of a different country. We learn about the instruments, we watch videos about the traditional and current music played in the country, and we learn a bit about what life is like in different countries. It is an interesting process to introduce the world to my clients who often do not understand the concept of language, cultural differences, and other aspects of culture and community. West music (I love them!) is sponsoring this summit, and I am hoping that I can get tomorrow off so I can attend most of the presentations. This is not something that is preapproved for Continuing Music Therapy Education (CMTE) credits, but it will not be difficult to make a case for myself and for CBMT about why this is important to learn. ...

I am not sure what is going on with my brain lately - well, that's not entirely true, I know what is happening that is making my brain go into impossible, anxiety-inducing thoughts and responses, but I am trying to figure out how to decrease the amount of dreaming that I am doing right now. Last night's dream was about a tragedy of some sort that happened to all of us. I was one of several people moving through the world after a big event that affected all sorts of things. I woke up after discovering a bunch of car keys and starting a plan to use different cars that we could find in the parking lot to go to the next destination. I can completely see why this is my current frame of mind when sleeping. There is so much horrible stuff happening in the world, and I have been watching a K-drama that has to do with a nuclear incident. So, I totally know why this is on my mind, but I do not like that it is leaking into my dreams right now. I do not remember most of my dreams. I assume...

I woke up this morning feeling like it really needs to be an inclement weather day but being disappointed seeing that NO ONE has called off school! I hope that this means that the roads are nice and smooth without any ice on their surfaces. I really hope that this is true because I have been in accidents on days where it should have been an inclement weather day and wasn't. I'm a bit anxious about driving this morning, so I may wait a bit before leaving - icy streets are a bit easier to take when I can see things more clearly. Being able to see any obstacles might make things a bit less anxiety-causing for me today, it might not. We are going to be talking about Ireland this week in my music therapy sessions. I have my penny whistle to play for my clients. They often want to play instruments as well, but the penny whistle is not one that can be played. I do have recorders and flutaphones, but I hate using them with my clients. They are such a hassle of cleaning and germ mitigat...

I am in a season of introspection and finding myself to be severely lacking. This happens to me every so often, usually around conference time, and it is a ridiculous situation that always throws me for a loop and sends my self-confidence into the basement. This is an example of my emotional brain taking over and running roughshod over my rational brain, and it is something that I just have to work through. Most of the time, this crisis in confidence comes after I hear of the wonderful things that other music therapists are doing out in the world while I feel like my own contributions are nothing. This usually goes on until I get to the point where I realize that I may not be adding to the research side of things (I've tried, but that is an entirely different story!!), but I am doing the job that others just study. Most of my feelings are that of jealousy, but I really do not want to be in the same sort of position of those who I am jealous of. Darn you, emotional brain! I woke up ...