Why Is This So Difficult??

Do you ever have times in the year where you find yourself affected by many different things simultaneously?

I am two days post-vacation and am missing my family members who are now safely tucked away in their own homes. I still work in a warm room, but my room is a bit cooler than it has been for sometime now. I have an itchy neck area - I think I have a rash there that I will need to treat with my old ointment. It is not currently very hot here, but the heat will be building through the weekend. I am not feeling very effective in my personal life at the moment. I do not know why I am feeling this way, but it probably has something to do with my summer SAD.

I do not enjoy summer much in this area of the world, but it is what it is. I has also taken me lots of time to acknowledge that I do not like how I feel and act during the summer months. I am not doing much to counteract this as far as medication goes, but I am doing things to help me keep going through the heat and the humidity that affects my physical and mental states of being.

So, here I am, sitting in the midst of my depressive state, trying my best to figure out what I want to do next. I have a basket full of things to laminate for my communication wall at work. I may just get those things out to do this afternoon when I get home from work. It is mindless work, so it would be a good thing to start after working. I will come home, fix my dinner, and then laminate while watching television and talking to my family. I can get the laminating finished and then start the finishing touches. That's a pretty good plan. I will set things up this morning so I can be ready to go as soon as I come downstairs after work.

One of the ways that my depression manifests is a lack of interest in any and all things that I usually find inspiring. Since I am currently without a creative problem to solve and am just spinning around in my thoughts and feelings, I do not really have a good target to work towards right now. I am feeling like I need a project.

Two weeks ago, my project was getting my house ready for guests. That worked out pretty well - there were some trouble spots, but my family knows me well, so that did not surprise them at all! Now, I do not have a focus for my after work hours. That's not good for me during these months of yucky weather.

I have to manufacture some sort of project, and I would like it to be something that is functional for my clients in their music therapy sessions. This thought leads me towards increasing my communication options. My problem with any sort of system is making it accessible without making it easy to destroy since many of my clients do not have property awareness. Having communication books is limiting. Having cards on the cabinets leads itself to property destruction. Taping sheets to the cabinets encourages tape peelers to peel the tape. There really isn't a fool-proof way to present options to my students, so I have to figure out the most function for the least amount of angst and replacement costs.

I will start with my communication binders that I designed either last summer or the summer before that when I took a course through Berklee. Those books worked really well until a couple of clients shredded them. So, back to the design process to figure out ways to make the books more durable. I will go back into that file (which is in my TPT store) and reprint, relaminate, and format a bit differently. I can add different options to the books during this time. More laminating to do!!

I feel a bit happier now that I have a project to work on. Off to work where I will see four groups and one individual today before bus duty and returning to my cool home for laminating!! Moving forward through my emotional down is a good thing! See you tomorrow??