'Tis the Season To Be

It's been 8 days since my surgery, and I am currently in a bit of a restless state. My brain is craving things that I don't have at home. My legs hurt from all of the positioning that I've had to do, and I don't have the ability to drive anywhere, so I'm pretty much stuck. My major interaction with the world is through the internet, and there are just some strange things going on out there. Bella alternates between wanting to be on top of me and not wanting anything to do with me. (There's nothing like a cold shoulder from a cat. I walk into a room, she stalks out. Gotta love that feline personality.) On the up side, I've weaned myself off most of the pain medication and am walking with support on my new ligament, so things are progressing (I think - the doctor will tell me tomorrow if I'm doing well). I have little to complain about. It's time to just be.

My life has been simplified by the fact that I am homebound. Usually during this month, I am moving from performance to performance, coordinating holiday events, trying to get everything finished before going to California for a trip home. This year, I had to get all of my holiday things finished while I could still drive, so I am finished except for the gifts for folks at church for the 24th. I have no performance obligations. I have no parties to attend, and I don't have anything to do except to recuperate. This is a strange December.

I am trying to do some dreaming. Dreaming about music therapy. Dreaming about my role in this profession. Dreaming about what I love to do and how to make those dreams reality. I am making time for creating. I am making time to be bored. I am making time to just be.

I like rules and structure, so here are my rules for "just being."
  • Naps are fine
  • Take time to read
  • Do the things that "have" to be done
  • Create
  • Dream
  • Ponder
  • Limit the feelings of guilt about taking time for self
Today, I have to take a shower, figure out my transportation to the doctor's office, and change the sheets. That's it. That's all I "have" to do today. The rest of the time will be spent brainstorming, reading, watching movies, and breathing with the cat (if she decides to be around me today). Whatever happens, happens. It's time to just be.

My hope for you, fellow therapist, is that you have moments where you can be away from the hullabaloo of the season and can just be. Enjoy. Have fun in the moment. Be.

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