Thoughtful Thursday: I Don't Wanna...

I am at the place where I do not want to work for anyone. I want to work for myself but I do not have a dependable income coming in and significant health issues so I have to have some sort of money to pay for my insurance. I don't want to leave my house to work, but I also don't want to be at home all the time.

I put in a job application last week. I have not heard back from HR yet about the position. I am a bit concerned about that fact, but I also have to remember that I have not been in the job market for many, many years and things have changed a bit. I am watching job announcements and am trying to figure out whether I want to apply for other jobs.

This is a strange place to be in - having to find something to do that will generate consistent income and not wanting to stay in this place for very long.

Okay, after a talk with my sister, I have submitted two more applications to some jobs outside of the music therapy realm but that I could do...I think. The imposter syndrome that is showing up here is more than real for me right now. I am not all that excited about having to reenter the job market, but I am also struggling with being at home all the time. What a mess!

Anyway, not wanting to work and needing to work are my current feelings at the moment. I am going to take a shower and then head to the library for some work outside of my house. I am almost finished with sing about the movies - just remembered that I did not take pictures of the file folder activities that I assembled yesterday - EEERGH! I always forget to take pictures. I will have to make another one just for the pictures alone. I will work on the sing about edition and monitor my email for job announcement updates. I just received a reminder that I have the crop tomorrow evening and Saturday all day. I still do not have my bags packed for that event. I need to figure out something to do while I am sitting in the company of others. Lots to do - I just wish these things made me some money, but I guess this is a good incentive to head out into the world.

Wow.

This is definitely not what I thought I would be writing about this morning when I started this post.

Time to start thinking about what I want from my current life - focus on the positive.

I want to do something where I feel that my work is meaningful. I want to do something that will be nicer to my body than working with children, adolescents, and young adults with I/DD and psychiatric diagnoses. I want to earn enough money to pay for my current health insurance and to build up my savings again. That's what I want. I also want to be able to pursue my own business dreams. That's what I want...

Tonight is the second meeting of my intern webinar series. If you are an intern or a music therapist who works with interns, please encourage them to sign-up for this free series. Here's the link:

 https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfbk_88on4J6W_9IN77nzPM3pZ-r-AazRDnyv4QK34aUkChGQ/viewform?usp=dialog

We meet on Thursdays to talk about being interns and how to navigate this important time transitioning between student and professional. Tonight's topic is organization which you know is something I think about quite often.

Okay, time to head out into the world to try to get some things accomplished...

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