Thoughtful Thursday: Thunderstorms and Not Feeling Guilty About Leaving

It is thundering this morning, and I am glad. I like storms as long as they don't come along with tornadoes, and this one seems to be just a regular storm. I am guessing that my mowers won't be coming today, but I will put their check on the door as usual, just in case. 

I am experiencing some issues surrounding the fact that I am not at work while all my co-workers are working right now, but I am also enjoying my time alone. This changes from moment to moment.

My life has changed significantly in the past two weeks. I no longer sing for adolescents. I sit at a computer and try to make things for music therapists to use and sing with their adolescents. I miss the human interaction, but not enough to consider going back.

I felt a creative itch last night. I wanted to make something, but I had some decision fatigue and avoidance coming on, so I asked my mom and sister for some themes. I ended up being challenged to make a winter themed journal and a turtle themed journal. I put the signatures (papers) together, but I have not started with the covers yet. I would like to make a turtle shell for the turtle journal, but I haven't figured out how to do that ... yet.

Playing with paper is something that I enjoy, and I hope that I can figure out what I want to do with the paper that I coordinated last evening. I now have five signature sets ready for covers and no covers... yet. It is time to move forward on those books. I may even get to the point where I can post them on Etsy for sale. I just need to get them made and then sent out into the world where people can use them for their intended purpose - writing in. 

Meanwhile, I sit with my planners and do my own thing.

I feel a bit guilty about being here and not on my way to work. It is strange to be in a place where I don't have session strategies moving through my head. On the other hand, I have found some TME ideas and different ways of doing old things as I have been sorting through things very slowly. I have ordered more storage in my favorite size - 13X13X4 inches, so I can firm up my theme boxes and get out my labels and do what I feel like I need to do right now. I have so many ideas and so much stuff to go with those ideas that I need a better way to organize and take advantage of all of my collected stuff.

So, boxes coming soon. Plastic, zippered bags coming soon. Things are filling up right now, but I like that a bit. I have my monthly boxes upstairs, and some of them need second boxes (like December when I have lots of bulky visuals like stories and PECS books to use). With my current order, I will have enough containers to can make second boxes for those months that need it.

My monthly boxes have been very helpful over the years. I keep as much as I can in those boxes so I can use them for session strategizing. I try to cram as much as I can into the space including sing about songs editions, games, visual aids, and books. I am going to be using these boxes as I get my subscription box service going (dream #3 of mine for retirement).

I make decisions about what goes into each box based on several things. I always look at the holidays that happen in each month and start there. After that, I had some monthly social-emotional themes that came from me, the art therapist I used to work with (up until 14 days ago), and other social-emotional themes that I developed. I also had some music education themes that I included each month, and the culture/country of the month I set up. So, every box up there has lots of things included in it to inspire session strategizing and thematic programming. These will act as my starting place for those subscription boxes as I include a sing about song edition, several visual aids, and some surprises for those who purchase the boxes from me. I just have to start making those boxes.

Lots to think about during this thunder filled morning. I have so much that I want to do and so little motivation to actually accomplish anything at all! That's when the guilt shows up - when I am trying my best to find some motivation to complete things around here...

Sigh.

Time to head into this day with a positive attitude and the motivation that I can scrape up. I am also trying really hard not to slip into a shame circle. Really hard. I can do this. Let's find that positivity and get going!!

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