Yesterday...

Was yesterday a strange day for anyone else? Everyone in my life seemed to be having a strange day - weird dreams, strange feelings, all that stuff. Hearing that coming from others made my strange day feel a bit better. At least I wasn't alone in all of my stuff. There is safety in numbers, my friends!

Today is starting off a little bit better. I had reflux last night and did not sleep well. I managed to get back to sleep around midnight until about 2am, but I did not allow myself to try to doze after that. I don't need more anxiety dreams happening - those are EXHAUSTING! So, I am heading into my job with less sleep than I would like, the remains of the reflux happening, and the effects of two nights of difficult sleep. 

At least this next weekend is a three-day one. Unfortunately, it is a Monday off which I do not like at all, but it is another day off. I hope that I will do some resting, but I doubt it. Monday was so promising this week - I wonder why Tuesday and today are so different.

I have to clean up my office this week because people are starting to be called for interviews, and I need to show them the place where they might be working. I do better with deadlines, so things are starting to be shoved into cabinets. I need to spend some time taking things to my car, but my body is not really cooperating with that right now. I don't want to take things that I use with clients yet, but I need to take things that I am not using to my place. That is about five boxes of die-cut visual aids and lots of file folder activities. I still haven't finished the library closet (but everything is out of it now), so I do not have the space that I need to store stuff right now, but I have some plans for all the die-cuts that I have. Stay tuned for some announcements about theme boxes for music therapists pretty soon. I am hoping that I can launch this in July, but we will see.

I think there might be some correlation between the upcoming interviews for MY job and my anxiety levels.

I am happy to be leaving this position for my next thing - I am stressed about leaving this position for something new - I am jealous that people want my job - I am thrilled that people want my job. I just have to get used to the idea that it is no longer MY job, after being the job that I've had for almost 30 years. The problem? It is still MY job until June 25th. I can't be leaving this position for the next four months and three weeks - that will be too much. I need to be able to focus on being the music therapist for that amount of time.

It is time to head out into the big world and do music therapy with five groups today. After today, I have only six groups left for the week. I am focused on cleaning and clearing out today, tomorrow, and Friday so things look better than usual for anyone who comes to visit. I also have to do everything that is part of my regular life - music therapy sessions, strategizing, cleaning instruments, completing documentation, and, my favorite, working with clients. A stomach thing seems to be going around with our day students, so there has been vomit in the music therapy room this week - that is the one bodily fluid that I cannot deal with - I am a sympathetic puker, so I was grateful for the behavioral health technician who cleaned things up. Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit as well - thanks, reflux! So, cleaning instruments is a pretty big deal right now.

First, I have to clean my body, get some envelopes ready to send out some mail, and head to the post office to send out that mail. I should be able to do that in 30 minutes, don't you think? Second, it will be time to drive the 50 miles to work in the darkness, looking for perdiddles sent by my Dad, and trying to figure out what to do about my anxiety at the moment. Meanwhile, I am craving Twix bars and have none. Poor me. Sniff, sniff. Fortunately, I can buy some without thinking about it too much - just have to go to a place where there are Twix bars. - Okay, chocolate order taken care of and other stuff is coming as well!

Fun!!

Anyway, it is time to head off into today - I am going to try not to dwell on yesterday, but you might know how the anxious brain operates so it may take some time to get over all of that stuff that happened yesterday. I will try my best!

Here we go. Off into Wednesday, tired but ready to move forward.

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