Too Much

The past week has been rough, all. Not just the immense issues with our current leadership in this country, but also on a personal level. I had the flu last week - three days of high temperature and a nasty cough that is lingering. It was not the best time, but I am hoping that is over. Turns out, many people at work had the flu last week. It wasn't just me who was out. Last week was a lost week.

I am exhausted right now. I am not really looking forward to going to work, but I will. I am still coughing quite a bit, which frustrates me because it makes it difficult to sing and make music. I am not entirely sure what I am going to do with my students this week. Last week's strategies will not work because we had a day off this week (darn Monday holidays). At the same time, having a week of country of the month videos would be good for my breathing and cough situation. I will probably just do the country of the month videos so I can rest a bit more.

I finished the presentations for my first ever symposium that will be happening on Saturday morning. I need to do some practicing during commutes to see if my breathing will work. People have signed up, which makes me feel good and terrified at the same time. I can do this, and I am looking forward to it!

The events happening in the world are scaring me. I am afraid that we are heading towards a World War where we are considered the instigators. This is not what I want for my country. It is a scary situation to be even contemplating at this point. Let's hope we find some cool heads to assert the balance of power that is part of our Constitution.

As things outside become more and more concerning, things inside are also pretty challenging. I had a plumber come to unblock my dishwasher drain. He jiggled the hose (which I have also done), and everything was perfectly fine. Ugh. $119.00 for some hose jiggling! I am going to be doing dishes today with the machine rather than by hand. I just wish things had moved when it was my jiggles rather than having to pay someone else. Oh well.

I have a CT scan scheduled for the 30th where my tumor team (that makes me queasy to say - tumor team) will be looking at some things on my liver and my kidney. The last time I had a CT scan, I fell in the lobby. I got dizzy after the test and had to be observed. I have to go to the main hospital this time instead of the more convenient satellite site, and I am wondering if the fall is why. No one really talks to me about what is going on, and I am not asking questions, either. So, that's happening on the 30th with a follow-up with my oncologist on the 2nd. Things are going through whether I want them to or not.

I need an attitude adjustment. Let me think about something that has gone right this week...

My living room is pretty put together right now - due to having the plumber in my house. The bedrooms, on the other hand, are more messy because that's where I put things from the living room. It is time to get things under control, so that will be one of my focus points for the next several weeks. The dishes have to get done first of all.

So, the living room is looking good. The dishwasher is working. I am starting to feel better after a week of illness and down thoughts. I put in my retirement notification last Thursday, so it is going to happen in less than six months. That is thrilling and chilling simultaneously. There is a long stretch of work before Spring Break happens, and we may have some snow days in there. I feel like I need to go to snow days this year so I can have the time off later, but we will see what the weather situations actually are before I make that decision completely.

I am safe. I am getting healthier. I am financially stable at the moment - two major tests will be happening this year, though, so I need to be able to get better with my finances. I have paid off my car, so I have to start a maintenance account, just in case. My budget will change when I am no longer commuting 100 miles per day for work. These are positive things that will happen in my near future.

For current me, there are also plenty of positive things going on. I have enough stuff to do most of what I want to do. My furnace is working. I have heat and fans and medications and more than enough food and hot water to do what I need to do. I have library books to read and people who read my nattering here on this blog. There are people out in the world who want to hear me talk about music therapy with adolescents...

Life is good, even when nastiness is outside the door. Be safe out there, folks.

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