Thoughtful Thursday: Looking for Meaning

I am getting ready for the Music for Kiddos Symposium which will be happening eight days from now. I signed up as soon as I could to save a bit of money, and this will be most of my professional development for this year. I have never attended one of these before, so I am interested to see who is presenting and what they are presenting about. A friend of mine is also attending - I don't know if she will be able to do the live presentation or not, but we will be watching the same things eventually. That's kinda cool.

I am experiencing lots of "lasts" these days. I am getting ready to retire from my job as the staff music therapist after almost 30 years of working in a job that I thought I would have for, at the most, 5 years. Surprise! As I am gearing up for my last Halloween parade, I am in a nostalgic mood - very much affected by the massive headache caused by skeletal misalignment. My spine is giving me fits again, so I am hurting up and down. That's neither here nor there. Back to the topic - retirement. I have seen many things in almost 30 years of working in the same place.

So many things.

As I am getting ready to go, I am trying to collect things that have given me meaning over the years. I have served thousands of clients, sung the same songs over and over, and had many ups and downs. I am thinking of putting together a memory book for myself to collect thoughts when they arrive and to stick in all of my photos from over the years.

It is mind-blowing to think that I have worked at one place for over half of my life. I never thought this would happen. I am paid well, and I am constantly challenged by the clients who I am privileged to serve as their therapist. It has been a great job, but it is time to do something less wearing on my body and my mind.

The symposium is a way for me to continue my music therapy journey from what I am doing right now to whatever waits for me in eight months. Only eight months to pivot from full-time, school-based music therapist to what I will become. I feel a bit like a caterpillar. I know that a big change is coming, but I am not sure what I will become.

So, I am looking for meaning for myself and for the things that I do and will do. Will I find it in a symposium? Probably not, but I am hoping that these presentations will spark some ideas in my brain. (Plus, I get a professional day to stay at home and watch the presentations in my pjs!) I will have my thinking book to take notes in and to help me flit from thought to thought within my existing framework that I have already established for my planning. I might be hoping for lots here, but that's who I am.

I tried ChatGPT to try to focus my thinking about what comes next - it was somewhat helpful, so I will work on using it a bit more to see if it will help me. Who knows??

I hope I will always be searching for meaning in my life and my vocation. It keeps me going.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Going on a Squeegee Hunt

One of the songs that I sang over and over and over again as a song leader in Girl Scouts was "Going on a Squeegee Hunt ." Now, you may be wondering what a "squeegee" is - good question! It is an imaginary creature that was probably invented by some obscure girl scout in Southern California many, MANY years ago! Anyway, similar to the traditional children's song of " Going on a Lion/Bear/Tiger Hunt ," the song takes you through a sequential process over, under, around, and through various obstacles towards a goal. Today, as I am sitting here writing, I am thinking about the poor squeegee being hunted. It is just in its cave, trying to do its squeegee things without interruption, when suddenly, BOOM! Some Girl Scout arrives to poke it! The poor squeegee does what it can - it jumps up and chases the Girl Scout all the way home!! This has not been a good work week. It is amazing how people will make mountains out of molehills. Here is the deal. I se...
Read more

Songwriting Sunday: Client Goals First and Foremost

Image
When I am writing music, I tend to do one of two things. I either start with a specific client in mind and write for that client's goals and objectives, or I start with an idea and let the idea grow regardless of the clients that I am serving at the time. I spend time with lots of hypothetical clients - thinking about the vast number of clients and their unique goals as I develop songs and therapeutic music experiences (TMEs). Today, though, I would like to start with the first focus - that of a specific client and his or her or their goals. Currently, I am sharing a wall with a class of students who are experiencing lots of life and school changes. Two students have transferred from residential care to home care and are now day students. One student is brand new to the classroom. Another student recently left the class. All of these changes have shifted the dynamics in the classroom group, and old behaviors of concern have reemerged as well as finding new behaviors to contribute. ...
Read more

Dear AMTA

Dear American Music Therapy Association: I am debating long and hard about remaining in this relationship. I have been in this relationship since college, and this is not a decision that I am taking lightly or without great cost.  I am not happy with what you are bringing to this relationship. Now, I have been a selfish partner over the past several years - mainly because I am not feeling like we share a common mission anymore. It is easy for me to place the blame on you, but I know that this is not all on me. I have tried to be invested in communication and support and understanding, but everyone comes to a time where enough is enough. I am trying very hard to decide if the benefits that you provide to me are worth the feelings that I have about where I think you and I are going. I am not sure that our destination is the same anymore, and this makes me sad. To be completely honest, I am only in this relationship these days for the music therapy interns. I don't think that is a hea...
Read more