Disgusted

I am struggling with the current state of my country, and it is something that just makes me sick to my stomach to think about. I am not doing well, and my like minded friends aren't helping the matter out with their constant calls for action. I am having to hide and block and wriggle away from relationships that once were affirming but now are causing me extreme amounts of stress in addition to the stress that I already have.

Anyone else?

I am a blue dot in a blue town in a blue county in a red state. My vote for president does not matter at all in our current electoral college format, and those who count on making my vote null and void will continue this antiquated system because they benefit from it. My senators are not blue, and my vote has been gerrymandered in all sorts of ways that are just hinky.

I also work with people who are compromised and very expensive to support. My job is funded through categorical aid from the federal government and is affected by changes in federal funding. Will my students continue to have the opportunities of education and psychiatric treatment? Will music therapy be part of that treatment? Will their rights be stripped just because?

I have one year and five months to go before I have a fully funded retirement opportunity. I am counting on that pension to be available so I can move from my current job to a different job, but who knows if anything will be available for me? I may not have my current job if funding dries up. Then what??

I am worried, and I am trying my best to keep things together, but this is my busiest week of the year - OCMT week. I am having to juggle registrations, and people who will be very angry that tickets will not be available anymore after 6pm my time today. Everyone thinks that rules do not apply to them, and they think that I should reopen things up just for them. Nope.

I despair for our society at large and for our profession as we continue to slide towards societal trends.

I am disgusted with "us" as a whole.

I am trying to figure out ways to function in my chosen roles of caregiver, humanistic, empathetic, and therapist in the world that we have right now. I am not sure how I can affect change in my life as things are breaking down around me.

All I can do is hold on.

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