TME Tuesday: What To Do When Your Client Just Doesn't Seem Interested in What You Have To Offer...

Let's face it.

There are times when clients are not interested in what we have to offer to them. They are not interested in engaging in the lyric analysis and songwriting therapeutic music experience (TME) that we have carefully crafted and curated. They just don't want to participate, and we cannot force them to do so. 

So, what do you do in those moments?

Those moments are happening often in my music therapy room at the moment. To be fair to me, they are happening all over the facility - not just in music therapy - but it feels like I am failing at being a music therapist at the moment. At least, my emotional brain is going straight into "goblin mode" where my thoughts are primarily based in the "I should," "I could," and "If only I would" format. It was nice to hear the group that is struggling so much in music therapy having difficulties on a day where they do not come to music therapy. It reinforced the idea that their struggles have less to do with me and more to do with them.

So, what to do?

My main solution is to go back to the basics of music - rhythm and tempo. When my clients are just not having anything to do with my session strategies, I use my TME database to find other ideas that focus on tempo. I like things with a steady beat that encourage us to move in patterns and hit drums. (We are allowed to hit drums - we do NOT hit other people!) I have a playlist of Mickey Hart's World Music that lends itself very well to using hand drums or to throwing balls at the big drums (rule #1 - we have to aim for a drum, NOT other people! - do you sense a theme here??). We get very amped up until we are exhausted, and then the ISO-principle helps us to slow down.  We also have a play and pass game that uses the metronome on the keyboard where we set patterns for playing handheld instruments and then pass the same instruments around the circle. These are some simple TMEs, but they are very effective.

This week's focus in music therapy is watching our video about our country of the month. It is low-demand but it is amazing what types of things my clients are getting angry about during the sessions. "He's looking at me. STOP LOOKING AT ME!" Well, client, if you stopped screaming, no one would look at you at all!

Anyway, I am heading to work now. Five groups and two individuals are waiting, but I'm a bit cranky about one of the individuals who I had to warn several times that he was not earning his time - I will have to go tell the client that we will not be going since the client chose not to follow directions yesterday. 

Anyway - the moral of this post is to always go into a session with alternatives. I encourage others to have a "high energy," a "low energy," and a "optimal energy" strategy for each session. Knowing that you have other options available is a good thing for you and for your clients. You can adapt the energy of the TME through the elements of music, but you can also change up the TMEs presented as well... more about that later...