Thoughtful Thursday: Head Swirling Happening Here, But It Will Pass

It is 6:10 am, and I am sitting in my office area, listening to Ms. Marvel on the television, and writing something on this blog. It is a bit later than I usually leave, mainly because I am not able to take my medication at 5 pm on Wednesdays because of my choir job. As a result, I have some side effects for a bit longer on Thursday mornings that make it difficult to drive. I go into work an hour later on Thursdays. This is the last day of the work week, so tonight's late dose (after my job as worship leader for Maundy Thursday) will not affect my Friday arrival. I have to go to the dentist tomorrow to get the second half of my teeth scraped and treated, so there's that.

One of the things that happens with my medication is that my brain takes some time to wake up. I can feel when I am starting to come out of it. There is just a shift in my consciousness - almost a click - that happens when I am ready to wake up. This morning, my eyes opened (initially) at 5 am. My brain click happened at 5:30 am. Usually, these things occur a bit earlier, but I am learning to just embrace that I can be late to work sometimes. It is not easy for me to do - even now, while my eyes take extra effort to focus long-distance, I am struggling with the fact that it is past 6 am, and I am still sitting here...


There is a beautiful full moon happening at the moment. I tend to be a bit more self-critical and jumpy when the full moon happens. I always have and always will.

This time around, the full moon is coinciding with lots of Bradford Pear trees in full bloom which means that I cannot breathe. I have asthma, and it is exacerbated by these particular trees. Some people have difficulty when ragweed starts up - not me. For me, it's those stupid, manufactured, and non-indigenous trees that are EVERYWHERE I look out here! This means additional medication coming into my body so I can breathe and sing. Of course, additional medication means additional side effects.

I need to change my tone to something else. My sister sent me some gourmet cookies yesterday. They were hanging on my door along with a flyer for the church across the street - I almost threw them out because who eats cookies from a random church - but then I looked at them more closely and noticed the note from my sister inside. Of course, because my brain is a bit swirly, I then wondered how the church managed to get my name and the name of my sister. It took longer than it should have to realize that the two things were not related, they were just happening at the same time. (That was BEFORE my medication, by the way...) Anyway, cookies.

Today is going to be a bit different for us. We have a live-streamed assembly happening during two of my group times. My swirly brain is thinking of all the things that can go wrong, but it will probably be wonderful for my students to experience. I am glad that we are starting to do more all-school events again. I am getting ready to announce that our Talent Show will return in May. That is always a fun time. Anyway, we are going to be watching a live-stream of Mr. Stinky Feet - the IT department is setting up a big screen and (my brain is hoping) some really good speakers so we can hear the music. We haven't had really good speakers before, so I am not sure that we will be able to hear extremely well, but there is a time where you have to trust that people will figure things out without your assistance, expertise, or interference...

I have been thinking about character traits lately. I am interested in Jungian archetypes, Myers-Briggs types, Enneagram types, learning styles, and all that stuff with a dash of semi-serious interest in astrology. All of these things strive to explain why we do what we do. If you are also interested, I am a INT/FJ, all over the Enneagram - I've been a 1, a 4, a 5 at different times, a visual learner, and a Taurus/Gemini. My way of traveling through the world seems to be scattered to begin with, and that is just what I do.

It is time to head out.

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