Saturday: Too Tired To Write

I haven't posted anything since Tuesday - mainly because I haven't been waking up early and when I do wake up early, I can't think of anything to write. I haven't done anything - no art cards, no cleaning, nothing but sleeping and trying to get my body to work without pain. I am not in any sort of crucial or critical situation, but I had behavior management testing this week and a double ear infection as well as music therapy things to do. At the end of each day, I am just wiped out - physically, mentally, emotionally. I got home yesterday to find a floral delivery notice on my door. I had forgotten that my parents' anniversary is today - 56 years since Mom married Dad, and even though he is not physically with us now, we still celebrate the start of our family.

I am going to get my taxes started today. I am hoping that I have some money coming back this year for the first time in a long time. We will see later. This is the first tax year that I have had my own house - I hear that makes a difference. It didn't last year...at all.

I am still very tired, and I am hoping that I can do some sleeping later today. Happy Spring!!

This was a disordered week on many levels. I missed Monday due to the aforementioned ear infections. Tuesday, I had behavior management testing so my afternoon sessions were canceled. Wednesday was a regular day - of course. Thursday was the Job Olympics, so half the school was on a field trip - one of my groups was canceled and all my individual sessions were canceled as well. Friday was another regular day. 

I am a person who enjoys structure and who finds changes in that structure to be exhausting. I do best when things happen the way I expect them to happen - at least, when it comes to the structure of time. Having that consistent structure helps me be more spontaneous when it comes to what happens in sessions. It is strange, but it goes with my favorite Corita Kent quotation...

"Structures are restraints - a form of limiting. What you can build within restraints and structures is almost limitless."

I have always liked this quotation. It is something that supports my need for structure but also allows for my need for improvisation and flexibility within the safety of my boundaries.

I think this is part of being a therapist - an opportunity to find your structure and then experiment with those boundaries? This is something I want my clients to discover as well. I want them to learn the rules of life and then explore what those rules mean to them.

I am tired. I am tired physically. I am tired emotionally. I am tired mentally. I am tired of kids screaming at me for asking them to sit in a chair so we can do things. I am tired of not knowing what my future holds in terms of a specific job opportunity that was supposed to start three months ago but that no one will actually communicate with me about my status - it's just "we'll let you know in about a week to a week and a half." - two different times now - it's been over the week and a half from the last notification that it would take "a week and a week and a half."  Blergh.

I think I am finished thinking for now. It is time for some crafting. I want to do my journal pages for my Nebraska trip last weekend and rest a bit before heading out into the windy world to get the taxes done...

Happy Saturday.