Conference Angst Continues for Me...How About You?

Okay. Here's the deal.

It seems that there are significant problems happening within our national organization. I am not a person in the know. I am not someone who has been keeping up with whatever is happening on Music Therapists Unite because I decided a LONG TIME AGO that Facebook is not the place where we can unite on ANYTHING! I withdrew my participation in that group MANY years ago due to the constant bickering and nasty comments about other music therapists that I saw over and over again. All I know about situations is what is being filtered out by various parties about various circumstances. So, all of the following blog nonsense is based on my current status of not really knowing lots about the situations that are being debated and are causing so much concern!

Keep the above paragraph in mind, please, as you read the rest of my opinions about stuff - I am a bit ignorant of all the details, and I am seeking to know more without overwhelming my entire life with any one situation that is going on in music therapy right now...because, y'all, IT IS JUST TOO MUCH RIGHT NOW!

All I know about what is going on is that members of AMTA are not happy with the Board of Directors or how the organization is being run, especially when viewed through a lens of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. I know that there is another issue out there of plagiarism that is somehow tied into the other dissatisfactions, but I am not sure how it is linked for sure. 

I have a problem with people who are demanding change but are not willing to be part of the organization that they want to change. The whole, "well, I WOULD be a member, but AMTA has to do what I tell it to" attitude seems problematic to me. There has to be change from inside the organization for the organization to truly change. Outside pressures are not very effective. Professional organizations like ours have to serve the needs of the members of the organization. Other voices are important to listen to, but, ultimately, the people who pay their membership fees are the ones who have to be served the most. It's not a good situation, but it is an important distinction when you are looking at how to change an organization of any kind.

I attended a forum last evening where we were talking about the relationship between internship directors and academicians. I have been a part of these types of forums for many years. The topics of conversation were the same things that have been part of these forums since I started my journey as an internship director in 1999. We continually want more and more from each other, and communication with all parties is difficult and inconsistent. That seems to be the way things go. (Now, I am not saying that this is right, but it is interesting to note that we STILL want the same things we wanted when I started this journey 22 YEARS AGO!) At the end of the forum, someone made a statement about how horrible it was that we had not discussed the needs of the students and their needs for equity and inclusivity during the conversation. I was curious about a) why they didn't talk about that topic during the forum and b) just waited to criticize rather than to bring up the discussion for our consideration. I also wanted to know a bit more about how the person felt that we had ignored this topic. It was a forum for internship directors and academic faculty members to discuss internships and educational programming in relationship to one another.

I always leave these types of discussions feeling confused, distraught, and shamed. I feel ignorant when it comes to the experiences of others, not because I doubt what they have experienced, but because I do not know what their experiences actually are. People seem reluctant to share what has happened to them through our national organization that has caused harm. I know that even the asking can cause additional harm, but things cannot change until we know what is harmful. When I have heard any sort of information, things seem to be focused more on what happens in university programs or what happens with individuals rather than with the organization. So, I am left wondering what someone like me is meant to do about this. 

I cannot control everything that my national organization does - I am just one clinician out there, doing my job every day - but, because of my membership, I do have a voice. My voice wants to know what the fork is going on! I don't want to be relying on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, or Instagram to find out what is happening with my organization! I don't trust that anyone has the full story about what is going on, and that's the thing that scares me the most about all of this conversation.

I did not go to the Assembly meeting last evening and that is where more conversation, debate, disgust seemed to happen. After the ID/AD forum, I was tired and cranky about being a music therapist, so I opted not to attend. I do not know what happened because I was not there, so I am not able to talk about the discussion.

Conference hasn't even started yet, and I am already over it!

Anyone else?? Am I alone in how I am feeling about all of this? Anyone else feeling confused? In the dark? Unable to move forward because of uncertainty about what people want out of things? Questioning whether they want to be part of the entire thing?

As I am writing this, I am wondering if there is a clear way towards satisfying all of the voices that are demanding change out there. I am wondering if it is time for AMTA to stop pandering to each and every voice that makes a demand and to focus on members rather than on outside forces. What do the members want from the organization? No one has asked me that question yet, and I pay my dues every single year as an internship director who has to do so. 

I have made membership in my professional organization a priority for my life, so I have had years where I have had to forego eating meat some months to afford membership. I get that it is a financial burden on many of us, but if you make it a priority, then there are ways to get the money. I will continue to be a member of AMTA until it is no more because I feel that I can do much more for AMTA inside its ranks than on the outside. Do I like everything that AMTA purports to do for me? Nope. Do I feel that membership in AMTA has enriched my professional experience significantly? I used to, but I don't really feel that at the moment. Do I want things to evolve and be better? Of course. Do I know how to get to that new and improved AMTA? Nope. No clue, but I am willing to be a part of the changes that need to happen, and I feel that I have to be a member in order to do that!

 So, AMTA, this member's opinion is that we need to talk about this more openly. We need to have a unified voice that is willing to talk about what is going on. We need a committee or commission that is not bound by secrecy and that can work quickly to change situations that are part of our organization's responsibility. We cannot continue the way we have always continued because that is CLEARLY NOT WORKING ANYMORE! We need to make members aware of the regulatory requirements of not-for-profit organizations that control some of the conversation and opportunities. We need to make members identify what is wrong so we can investigate how we will change and evolve into a better system. We need to be engaging in conversation rather than making half-ashed apologies. We need to be asking members rather than just flipping from one demand to the next from non-members! 

Members, we need to remember several things as well. First, our organization is regulated by laws and legislation that have nothing to do with being a therapeutic group of people. There are things that cannot happen because to do them would put our tax status at significant risk and would set precedents that would mean that anyone could push their own agendas and use organization monies to do so. (That seems to be what happened during 2019 with the closed sessions that were cancelled. If you let specific groups use association monies to have restricted participation, then you have to let every group use association monies to have restricted participation - dangerous precedent.) Second, our organization is run by a professional staff who have jobs that are separate from that of being therapists. They are not supposed to be doing therapy with us. Their jobs are to run the office in the ways that are dictated by regulatory bodies. The members do things that are separate from what the organization is allowed to do. Some things that we want from our organization have nothing at all to do with the front office staff or our CEO. Third, the Board of Directors do not get paid to be on the Board. They volunteer time and energy and passion for music therapy to do this job, and it is not an easy one (spoken as someone who was a chair for AMTA and who volunteered and had to take lots of complaints that had nothing to do with my role in AMTA at the time). They also have to abide by the regulations of not-for-profit organizations, but they are also the ones that have to navigate member complaints and issues. Fourth, we, as mere members, do not see even 40% of what our AMTA volunteers do for the organization. We have to trust that conversations are happening, that strategies are being built, and that there will be change. Fifth, change does not happen in the blink of an eye, ESPECIALLY when there are regulatory bodies involved!!

I could go on and on, but I have a 12 hour workday in front of me, and I still have to go buy cheese for our potluck this evening, so off I go!

I am already over conference!