Better...Sometimes You Have to Just Get Through

I had a better yesterday than the day before, even though I broke a laptop display and then the same computer sat in a puddle of urine for an undetermined amount of time... Ah, the life of a music therapist that people rarely write about.

Welcome to MY blog!

Even with the destruction of my clinic computer (the one I use to play recorded music for my clients), yesterday was a better day than Tuesday. That happens often in my world - ups and downs all the time.

My 2020 visual here needs to be updated a bit to include how 2021 has just taken me down a new track - 2020 is no longer a closed circuit but took a sharp turn into 2021 issues and events. I think this picture illustrates life pretty well - it is a series of loops and twists and turnabouts that just seem to happen without any sort of rhyme or reason. 2021 has continued the pattern here - there was a sharp fall after my father died with lots of bumps and twists in the (almost) three months since he passed away. Today is my parents' anniversary, so there are lots of feelings that are surfacing right now. The feelings are both happy and bittersweet as we celebrate the start of what became our family but also mourn that the life shared is now over. 

I talked to my mother yesterday and asked her if there was a protocol for how to talk about anniversaries after a spouse dies. She didn't know. My sister took a more direct approach...and asked Google. Google said that the word "happy" tends to be problematic when talking to others about anniversaries. My mother said that she didn't want to go out to dinner (I shared that with my sister who might have made Mom go out because that's what Dad always did). Mom and I laughed quite a bit during our conversation about it all. 

I am heading into a day of less clinical interaction than some of my other days. I have three groups and one individual to see today. I am going to arrange some professional development days for next week while my intern is in training away from the music therapy room. I have lots of sessions to go through for the CUE conference which is all about education and technology. I was not able to go through it all when the conference was live, but I should be able to get some time to review the presentations here at home while my intern is otherwise occupied. This was one of my big continuing education payments for this year - a new conference. There are things about telehealth and educational ideas for students with differing ability levels all over the conference, so I will get lots of ideas to transfer into the music therapy world.

In the midst of my three groups, I have lots of time to plan or clean or arrange for other things to happen. One of my "jobs" today is to plan my professional goals for the second quarter of this year. I have fallen off the book reading process - that is something that I really want to start again. I am going to make a specific time of each day where I read something in the sunshine of the hallway. I have plenty of time during each day to do this. My schedule is not all the way full at all. I often have several hours in the mornings, even when I have five groups and several individuals scheduled for the day. It's not the best use of my time or energy cycles to not have my mornings filled, but it is what came out of someone else doing my schedule. Yuck! Keep control of your schedule, all!!

The groups that I have today are not my most challenging - in fact, they tend to respond very well to what I offer, no matter what those offerings end up being. It's nice to have some easy days, especially after the Tuesday group configuration. Tomorrow's groups are a bit more challenging but still not as harrowing as Tuesday's groups tend to be every week. I have crossed over the halfway mark for group sessions. I have three individual sessions to lead this week as well as seven groups. That's it over two more days.

So, today is leading groups, getting my individual, reviewing my quarter 1 goals, establishing quarter 2 goals, finding some time to read my music therapy books (the pile has not shrunk AT ALL), and continuing my constant quest to become more organized and regulated. I also have to submit my professional time request to my supervisor - I think I will take Wednesday and Thursday next week. I will not take Tuesday, even though that would make my clinical week so much easier, because avoiding things that make us uncomfortable does not provide solutions. It just creates more problems. So, I think I will be gone next Wednesday and Thursday. That will allow me to get the links that I need and to find everything that I want to see. It also means that my intern will be occupied and I can get away a bit without people expecting her to take over my sessions.

Time to take my shower and get ready to go into my world of music therapy. 

 

P.S. I came home last night craving my song, What Do You Hear in These Sounds, by Dar Williams and listened to it and several of her other songs. That song always uplifts me after hard times. What songs do that for you? I'm curious.