Tossing Out Memories

SOME of my mess!!

I've been spending some of this morning throwing things away.

This is something that I struggle with on a regular basis. You see an envelope, I see pages for my junk journal. You see a very old notebook, and I see all the time I spent in class with classmates learning about music therapy. I have WAY too much stuff that I've justified as having to keep because it sparked memories in me when that's all that it has done - sparked memories. I mean, who needs journal references from 30 years ago? NO ONE!!

So, I tossed out my papers from my freshman year of observation - the year when a client fell very loudly in love with me (and ignored EVERYONE else in the room!!). I found some of my first therapeutic music experiences and put them back in the card box where they belonged (I still use many of those TMEs to this day). I'm thinking about what I cherish more - the memories (which I have) or the old notebooks?

So, I've taken one load of old papers out to the recycling dumpster with only a twinge of nostalgia. It is time to move towards less stuff around me.

I have resisted the entire Marie Kondo thing as something that would send me into a shame spiral. I am a packrat. I am not (yet) a hoarder, but I could easily slip into that sort of label if I don't do something about all this right now. As a result of the current situation and my lack of things to keep me occupied, I am making it my primary goal to go through all the stuff that I already have and get rid of the things that I do not need anymore.

The little bit that I know about Marie Kondo's way of organizing stuff is that you acknowledge all things, think about them (I am REALLY resisting the entire idea of "joy" for some odd reason), and then either give them away or keep them. I wonder why the thought of "joy" bothers me so - maybe I should do some more research into the Kondo method... Eh, I have better things to do.

I cannot bring myself to throw away books yet.

I did cut up a book for pictures for a future TME - it was a worn-out copy of a Grover book that my sister gave me. I pulled out all the pages, looked at the pictures, and then cut out the pictures that I wanted to keep. I threw the hard covers away even though my journal making soul was screaming on the inside that I could make such a cute junk journal with those covers. I hope that this feeling is progress. I also hope that my blatant disregard for that feeling of wanting to keep those covers is progress as well.

I have come to a place where I need to figure out how I am going to organize things - are there places for cool containers? Would that just encourage more and more stashing of stuff on my part? Possibly.

First things first - I still have LOTS and LOTS to go through. I have all sorts of half-finished visual aids that I need to finish and then either use with clients or give to other people to use with clients. I am making space for these things by getting rid of the notes from all of my classes, but that doesn't change the fact that I have more things unfinished than finished (and I have LOTS of stuff finished up!). It is time to keep moving forward on this goal. I feel like I am finally to a place in my life where I can do this. 

If anyone wants to find those hardback covers, they are in the recycling dumpster across the parking lot. I hope you make a joy-filled junk journal! Enjoy it for me, okay??