The Reason I Don't Take Many Vacations


I am the type of person who tends to stick pretty close to home when I have time off from my job, and I have been forcefully reminded of why this happens this way this week.
I am exhausted!
I took the last two weeks for a trip to see my parents in Southern California and then a week in Kauai with my Mom and my sister and then a day back in California (just in time for the first big earthquake) and then had to drive back to my midwestern state just in time for a heat advisory. I arrived home early evening on Saturday and had Sunday to rest and get ready for returning to work on Monday.

I am still not recovered from my recent experience, and it reminds me why most of my vacations turn into "staycations" rather than extravagant trips. Being in the company of others for that long wears me out. I need time to myself, and that is getting to be more and more important to me as I'm getting older.

Don't get me wrong, the trips were lovely, but I spent more time with my family than I have in 25 years, and I was reminded that we have a better relationship when we are able to be in our own spaces than not. Anyway, enough about that.

The thing that is the most important to my music therapy life about all of this is that I need time in between vacation and working. One day is not enough for me to recover from my vacation.

Here's how my vacation has affected my work presence - 
I am exhausted!
This really is most relevant in times like this one when I am trying really hard to keep my eyes open long enough to get to work. This is day four after my travels, and I think my exhaustion is getting worse. I am able to be awake during sessions without any sort of issue, but sitting with my intern in the afternoons when she is documenting and I have nothing to do is difficult. I go into "post-work exhaustion + post-vacation exhaustion" mode - specifically, my brain stops working.

Now this brain stoppage is pretty typical for me in the afternoon, but the desperate need to keep going is based on my post-vacation issue. 

I have engaged in my usual tricks - writing songs, coming up with "NTM" TMEs, doing pretty much everything except vacuuming - which desperately needs to be done, but I'm very tired, so that's going by the wayside this week. It's not working. I'm still having to keep myself busy, almost frantically. When I get home, I end up lying in bed for hours, unable to sleep. This is not helping all of my exhaustion because my evening routine is not happening the way I want it to so I am completely rested. I am up WAY PAST my regular bedtime. I'm actually staying up as late as most grown ups, and I'm not liking it at all! This is because I am still waking up very early, so my sleep bank is overdrawn. 

I am counting the days (10 work, 16 with non-work days put in) until I can spend some quiet, restful time by myself at home. I am hoping that this weekend will give me a chance to sleep a bit, get more used to this time zone, and try my best to get back on track. We will see. The weather here is hot and humid, and that tends to affect me in all sorts of difficult ways. I think some enforced rest may help with everything - getting back in sync with the sunshine available here and feeling like I am rested. That's the plan for Friday-Sunday. Naps, a visit with a friend, more napping, printing out some of my pictures, grocery shopping, and more naps.
I am recovering from my vacation, and I'm documenting how I feel so I remember why I don't usually do this quick type of turnaround. Got to get myself going so I can get to work and stay awake long enough to do the music therapy things I need to do today and then get back here to try to sleep enough to start to feel rested.

See you tomorrow.

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