Honesty Time - I Am Dreading Wednesdays These Days...
One of my good Facebook friends was commenting that we music therapists don't often post about our difficulties or challenges on social media. I started to think about this and realized that, especially on Facebook, I am hesitant to be 100% completely honest about the things that challenge me as a music therapist and as a human being. One of the reasons that I tend to use Facebook music therapy groups as a place to share positive thoughts is that as soon as someone offers a question or comment that is in the slightest bit challenging, the audience comes down with a harsh demand that this (whatever it is) situation should be covered in professional supervision rather than on a social media forum. So, I keep my comments to my blog where people can choose to engage in a conversation with me either publicly or privately as they so desire.
It's time for some honesty right now.
During this summer session, I have been waking up every Wednesday morning with a sense of dread in my stomach. That just simply does not go away. Here's the situation - all names, identifying information, and other details masked in obscurity to protect the identities of those involved...
I have only two music therapy groups on Wednesdays, so it's a pretty easy day. It starts off with some office time (which is such a rarity that I often don't know what to do with myself) and has a bit of time in the middle of the day as well. Now, I prefer to be as busy as possible, but classroom schedules did not allow me to have more music therapy session times on Wednesdays. (I believe that this is problem #1 - too much down time). The groups that I have are very different from one another, and difficult to predict. (This may be problem #2.) The staff members in the groups do not often support music therapy in ways that need to happen. Often they take breaks, talk about things that are not music-related, and need correction from me to remain appropriate during the session. (I hate having to constantly babysit staff members - do your job, doggone it! Problem #3 - bigger than all the others!!)
The day always starts off with waking early and not being able to go back to sleep. This habit seems to be encoded in my DNA - both my parents do this as did my grandparents and the one grandmother who is still alive at 95 also wakens early. I awaken with a strange pit in my stomach that just steadily grows. I know it's not related to what I eat the night before because I have no eating pattern - it happens whether I eat well, poorly, or not at all. The feeling grows as I drive into work. I just get more and more queasy at the thought of going in. Once I'm in therapy sessions, I'm fine. In fact, I thrive, but getting to those sessions is often difficult for me.
So, there was the honesty part. Now, let's go into the processing portion of this post...
Oops, had to actually go to work, so let's just continue with the honesty portion of today's epic blog post.
Today was a problem from the beginning of the day. The computer server wasn't working, so there was no way to complete my documentation (for the second day in a row), there was no email, and there was no way to communicate with people from the other locations. Sigh. It's amazing how electronic documentation is wonderful until there are problems with the electronic parts. I never had a problem accessing my paper records. The administrators at my facility have made several HUGE changes to how our paraprofessionals will be hired and supervised. This has led to enormous numbers of resignations, sick leaves, and people who are "sick" everyday of our summer school session so far. There are lots of deals going on with who can use their accumulated sick time and who cannot. I foresee lots of problems with this in the near future. Not my job... The rest of us are stuck trying to cover the jobs of people who are taking advantage of their situations but leaving us in the lurch. Not one of our classrooms was fully staffed today. That meant that when I entered a room and both of the paras in the classroom left, I was stuck covering a classroom. When a young lady asked to use the bathroom, I couldn't let her go. There wasn't anyone to watch her or the other kids. I couldn't do both. I'm sure I'll be in trouble for that soon, but the situation was what it was.
So, then we started our music therapy session.
Five students, all in that tween age and all very bossy with their peers and with adults who allow it (I don't, and that's part of the problem) in the room. We enter to find one screaming on the floor, two playing inappropriate games on the computer, one sleeping, and another one egging on the peer who was on the floor.
Welcome to music therapy.
15 minutes of arguing, avoidance behaviors, and screaming, we FINALLY get started on what we need to do. Reinforcements weren't working, I don't yell to try to get attention, and their own behaviors were MUCH funnier than anything I wanted them to do, so we were stuck. They were just plain old snarky and rude.
Long story short (I'm sure you're thinking, "Yeah right, MJ, this is not SHORT AT ALL!), they didn't get their primary reinforcer today - free play on the instruments and choosing music from the iPod. I think we did manage to shift their moods from mean, nasty, and snarly to that of tolerating each other for short periods of time...
I wonder why I dread Wednesdays??
The best thing about this current state of affairs is that I won't have to do this too much longer. Summer session is over in 8 more work days, and the fall session will be arranged in a more therapeutic way - none of those particular students will be in the same session. We will see if Wednesdays get better for me.
Honesty.
Refreshing??
It's time for some honesty right now.
During this summer session, I have been waking up every Wednesday morning with a sense of dread in my stomach. That just simply does not go away. Here's the situation - all names, identifying information, and other details masked in obscurity to protect the identities of those involved...
I have only two music therapy groups on Wednesdays, so it's a pretty easy day. It starts off with some office time (which is such a rarity that I often don't know what to do with myself) and has a bit of time in the middle of the day as well. Now, I prefer to be as busy as possible, but classroom schedules did not allow me to have more music therapy session times on Wednesdays. (I believe that this is problem #1 - too much down time). The groups that I have are very different from one another, and difficult to predict. (This may be problem #2.) The staff members in the groups do not often support music therapy in ways that need to happen. Often they take breaks, talk about things that are not music-related, and need correction from me to remain appropriate during the session. (I hate having to constantly babysit staff members - do your job, doggone it! Problem #3 - bigger than all the others!!)
The day always starts off with waking early and not being able to go back to sleep. This habit seems to be encoded in my DNA - both my parents do this as did my grandparents and the one grandmother who is still alive at 95 also wakens early. I awaken with a strange pit in my stomach that just steadily grows. I know it's not related to what I eat the night before because I have no eating pattern - it happens whether I eat well, poorly, or not at all. The feeling grows as I drive into work. I just get more and more queasy at the thought of going in. Once I'm in therapy sessions, I'm fine. In fact, I thrive, but getting to those sessions is often difficult for me.
So, there was the honesty part. Now, let's go into the processing portion of this post...
Oops, had to actually go to work, so let's just continue with the honesty portion of today's epic blog post.
Today was a problem from the beginning of the day. The computer server wasn't working, so there was no way to complete my documentation (for the second day in a row), there was no email, and there was no way to communicate with people from the other locations. Sigh. It's amazing how electronic documentation is wonderful until there are problems with the electronic parts. I never had a problem accessing my paper records. The administrators at my facility have made several HUGE changes to how our paraprofessionals will be hired and supervised. This has led to enormous numbers of resignations, sick leaves, and people who are "sick" everyday of our summer school session so far. There are lots of deals going on with who can use their accumulated sick time and who cannot. I foresee lots of problems with this in the near future. Not my job... The rest of us are stuck trying to cover the jobs of people who are taking advantage of their situations but leaving us in the lurch. Not one of our classrooms was fully staffed today. That meant that when I entered a room and both of the paras in the classroom left, I was stuck covering a classroom. When a young lady asked to use the bathroom, I couldn't let her go. There wasn't anyone to watch her or the other kids. I couldn't do both. I'm sure I'll be in trouble for that soon, but the situation was what it was.
So, then we started our music therapy session.
Five students, all in that tween age and all very bossy with their peers and with adults who allow it (I don't, and that's part of the problem) in the room. We enter to find one screaming on the floor, two playing inappropriate games on the computer, one sleeping, and another one egging on the peer who was on the floor.
Welcome to music therapy.
15 minutes of arguing, avoidance behaviors, and screaming, we FINALLY get started on what we need to do. Reinforcements weren't working, I don't yell to try to get attention, and their own behaviors were MUCH funnier than anything I wanted them to do, so we were stuck. They were just plain old snarky and rude.
Long story short (I'm sure you're thinking, "Yeah right, MJ, this is not SHORT AT ALL!), they didn't get their primary reinforcer today - free play on the instruments and choosing music from the iPod. I think we did manage to shift their moods from mean, nasty, and snarly to that of tolerating each other for short periods of time...
I wonder why I dread Wednesdays??
The best thing about this current state of affairs is that I won't have to do this too much longer. Summer session is over in 8 more work days, and the fall session will be arranged in a more therapeutic way - none of those particular students will be in the same session. We will see if Wednesdays get better for me.
Honesty.
Refreshing??
Comments
Post a Comment