Make It Monday: After the Crop

It is Monday, and I am feeling my weekend.

You wouldn't think that 13 hours of sitting and making things with paper would wreak havoc on a body, but it does. Also, the change in medication regimen has something to do with this, I am sure. I crashed hard this morning and did not want to get up at all. I have also not been eating well, so there are lots of things happening, but this weekend just coalesced everything into one big energy reset.

Boy, I am just one big complaint this morning. Time to reset.

I enjoyed my time making things with paper this weekend. I worked on my themed journals on Friday evening, and I putzed around with brainstorming as well as some other paper projects and Zentangling on Saturday. I made lots of plans on Saturday, and I have started to work through those projects. 

I am working on passion projects right now. These are things that do not provide me with much financial benefit but that really make me feel satisfied. If I can get some financial support through my work, then great! That is icing on the cake, as far as I am concerned.

The problem?

I need to find some money, and it has to happen at some point in the near future. Before that, though, I want to head back home for a visit. I need to think about moving, and I need to see my family. I have to figure out what my next steps will be. I don't like feeling like I am in limbo, but that is where I am at the moment.

In between.

Anyway, let me get to what I have made this weekend.

Turtles in progress

I worked on a turtle-themed journal. Every page has a pocket or a belly band or some sort of decoration. I need to make it more turtle-y before it is finished, but those are final touches rather than construction choices. I worked on the Christmas journal as well. I purchased some ephemera to go into that journal and to decorate things a bit more, but there are many different things in that journal now as well. I basically did not touch my winter themed journal at all. I Zentangled a mandala. I Zentangled two sea turtles. I made an ephemera holder out of a bunch of old H&R Block envelopes and a Wheat Thins box. 

I sat with my notebook and wrote and wrote. I put together a chant and a couple of songs in that noisy space.  It was a good demonstration (to me) of what I can do when I am out of my home and around other people. I might need to do more heading out of my home to brainstorm and work than I have been doing lately. Something else to think about - put it on the list of things that I have to figure out.

We played BINGO, and I remembered that BINGO cards are something I can generate. Yesterday, on Sunday, I spent some time putting together a template for BINGO cards. I will be working on new sets of cards for myself and for other music therapists to use during sessions. I figure that this will be something that I can work on in more quiet moments.

I also have some ideas for other bundles of materials to offer. Now, I just have to find the motivation to make those ideas a reality rather than something written on paper. My problem is that I am really good at coming up with the ideas, but I am lousy with the follow-through. As I am building this new life and routine, my quests are shifting a bit. I want to become better at following through with my ideas and making them reality rather than ideas on paper in my book. It is possible that I need to have some sort of place to go to work rather than just sitting in my house, but I cannot afford that right now. So, I will look for other options. The library, for one, is a place where I could sit, be around other people, and hear people noises. That has been such a large part of my life until now that I might need that stimulation. Who knows?

For now, I started my morning really late (for me, at least), have two library books that have to be turned in on Wednesday, have to call about jury duty again tomorrow evening, and am going to another musical movie this afternoon. My local theater is back to winter hours, so I have to go to afternoon movies rather than morning movies now. This will give me some more structure to my work times, which is important for me as well. Routines, structures, appointments, and meetings are things that help me thrive.

I no longer have those things in my day-to-day routine, and I am getting ready to add it back into my life in some way. I seek routine. It is almost time.

So, what do I do next? Do I start packing up and getting ready to move? Do I wait to establish a private practice until I move? Do I work on building a practice here while I am still in a place that I do not intend on being for more than a year? What do I do? I have so many ideas and so many things that have to be sorted out and through that just overwhelms me - so I avoid all of those decisions. Every one of them. That's not healthy, though, so I need to figure out something.

First thing, though, is to work.

Time to go. Thanks for reading, even the weird stuff. I appreciate you, Dear Void, more than you will ever know.