Babystepping
One of the things that has stuck is the terminology of the therapist who recommends that the client focus on the smallest of steps to get through what appears to be unsurmountable issues. The term is "babystepping," as in "Don't focus on what you have to do to go to a meeting. Focus on the smallest step. Stand up. Walk to the closet. Select clothing." Each one of those steps is a babystep, and this is a concept that helps me navigate my world as well as helping me interact with my clients in music therapy sessions.
My clients and I share a need for techniques that we can employ when we feel overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed by situations and information and the things I feel I need to do. When this happens to me, I tend to shut down completely rather than power through. When my clients are overwhelmed, they tend to become aggressive or engage in tantrums in ways that disturb or harm others. When one of my clients is in crisis, we are reminded that their brain is incapable of rational decision making and that they are all emotional. The situation warrants short, succinct, and one-step directions - a babystep, if you would.
When I find myself overwhelmed, I strive to remember that I want to move from one small thing at a time. I have also heard this called "eating the frog" which apparently is a book by Brian Tracy called Eat That Frog!" I have not read that book, but it seems to be something that would be helpful to me in my non-overwhelmed moments - does that mean in my whelmed moments?? It does not seem to be a book that I would be able to handle during my moments of crisis, frustration, and shut-down.
So, babystepping as a concept is something that resonates for me. It has been very helpful in my work as a trauma-informed music therapist with the clients that I have chosen to be with during my professional life. It is not something that is overly known, though.
In real life situations, this comes to play when I am trying to figure out how to support my clients in their crises. Babystep #1 - provide support for the emotions displayed through music or through physical management, if needed. Babystep #2 - remain calm through singing or repetitive chanting to provide that musical foundation supporting the emotions and using the Iso Principle to shift the emotion. Babystep #3 - continue to provide the foundation of the music to engage the client in active musicking. Babystep #4 - provide support in post-crisis depression period through listening and engaging as needed.
There are times when I cannot do this. Last week was such a time. I ended up in crisis right along with the several clients who struggled in music therapy sessions last week. I am better this week - I have less happening in my own body and am able to focus more of myself on others. It's amazing how feeling well can help and how feeling bad can significantly impair my therapeutic interactions. That is a case for using your sick time, by the way! When I am swept away into someone else's crisis, I have to claw my way out because it is really not good to have everyone in crisis. The first thing I have to do is to control my breathing and my way of presenting myself to others. Singing is the way I do that - it controls my breath and allows me to rein in my emotion because I am singing. Thank you, Sheryl Kelly, internship director extraordinaire, for this tip!
Breaking down patterns and projects into babysteps is something that I will continue to do - I guess this is one of my systems as well as a therapy technique that helps me navigate the world of others' emotions.
Well, it is time to head out into my Tuesday schedule. Five groups today. Here we go! See you soon.
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