Dear AMTA

Dear American Music Therapy Association:

I am debating long and hard about remaining in this relationship. I have been in this relationship since college, and this is not a decision that I am taking lightly or without great cost. 

I am not happy with what you are bringing to this relationship.

Now, I have been a selfish partner over the past several years - mainly because I am not feeling like we share a common mission anymore. It is easy for me to place the blame on you, but I know that this is not all on me. I have tried to be invested in communication and support and understanding, but everyone comes to a time where enough is enough.

I am trying very hard to decide if the benefits that you provide to me are worth the feelings that I have about where I think you and I are going. I am not sure that our destination is the same anymore, and this makes me sad.

To be completely honest, I am only in this relationship these days for the music therapy interns. I don't think that is a healthy place to be for me or for you and definitely not for the interns.

What are my concerns? It is interesting that you really haven't asked me about this at all.

I am concerned that we no longer know how we are going to work on our mission statement. We state on our website:

The American Music Therapy Association^® is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization whose mission is to advance public awareness of the benefits of music therapy and increase access to quality music therapy services in a rapidly changing world. You can help support this mission. (AMTA Website, 2024)

I feel like we have lost this mission. We seem to be spending more and more time fighting with each other than we do advancing public awareness of the benefits of music therapy to increase access to quality music therapy services. There are things that happen from within this relationship that I do not agree are part of this mission, and I am constantly wondering why we are talking about these things.

For example, I do not want to be told that being a part of this relationship means that I have to agree with political statements released from the Board. I have not been consulted about whether I support or reject specific political aspects, views, and opinions, and I do not see how public statements from the Board of Directors support our mission. There is nothing that increases access to quality music therapy services in a statement that is politically motivated.

I am a smart, independent, opinionated woman who is able to make my own decisions about things that are happening around the world. Whether I agree with these statements or not is completely irrelevant. YOU DO NOT GET TO SPEAK FOR ME! Especially when you haven't asked me about my opinion. When people find out that I am a music therapist, it is a quick search from that fact to political statements which are then assumed to be mine. Whether they are or not, it is not your job to represent me in any manner other than the benefits of music therapy and increasing access to quality music therapy services. Period.

The next thing making me think more deeply about leaving this relationship is our communication. Any public conversation with one another turns out to be a screaming match. This is not healthy for us, and it is really not healthy for me. I cannot engage in conversations with other members of this relationship because we are not able to speak to one another with any sort of civility or understanding of the rights of others to hold beliefs, practices, and opinions that are different from our own. 

To me, this means that important voices are being bullied out of making any sort of comment about where we are and what we are doing. I feel like I no longer have a voice in this relationship, and that is not what I want from a professional organization. I want to be heard in a way that respects that there are differences between us that are allowed to be. I will take responsibility for the words that I choose when I interact, but others need to do the same thing. Respect and the ability to see different perspectives from many voices appears to have left this relationship, and I mourn that professionalism.

Like I mentioned above, I am only in this relationship because I am someone who enjoys working with music therapy students and interns. I love being an internship director. Did you know that music therapy educators are not required to be professional members of AMTA? Their universities are required to be members, but not the individual professors. Only internship supervisors are required to be members of AMTA.

I do not get any financial benefit from being an internship director and supervisor. In fact, interns cost me money, they cost my facility money, they cost my clients in therapeutic benefit, and the only entities that get a financial benefit from this relationship is you - through my membership dollars - and the universities. That is it.

There is an emotional benefit from being an internship director and supervising music therapist. That benefit has sustained me through 26 years and 36 interns, but I am not sure that being forced into this relationship with you for the sole purpose of providing you and them with free training is enough. There is never a mention of a benefit through this relationship. Never. There is never anything more than the occasional email directing us to give more to the relationship. What about a discount for the required dues and membership? 

(Come to think of it, there was an offer to get some free resources earlier this year - so there was one benefit in my 34+ years of membership. I apologize. Of course, the resources offered were not relevant to my practice, so I did not engage.)

I am tired of justifying things that this organization does. I have moved away from things that I used to love about being a music therapist and a member of this community. I have tried to work from the inside, just to be embarrassed, shoved aside, and denied the opportunity to serve. I cannot devote more time and energy to this relationship, but I feel like giving up means letting all the negative voices out there win. It is sad, and this is something that I just struggle with so much.

From my perspective, most of the energy that comes from your side is dedicated to placating the bullies, the complainers, the ones that have already left this relationship. Rather than trying to make this work for those of us who are still here, we are choosing to look for the next person to bring into this relationship. It is exhausting to hear, over and over again, that we are doing something just to court someone who makes it very clear that they do not agree with our mission.

For me, it all comes down to what we say we want to do.

How are we increasing quality services for our music therapy clients when we spend most of our time sniping with each other and with people who have not wanted to be part of our group? How? I want to know, and I want to hear from other people.

As I end this letter, I want to know what other members of this relationship think. Are you satisfied with what our professional organization is doing for you? What are the good things that come with being a member of AMTA? What are the things you wish we would do differently? (All comments left on this blog are kept private unless you want me to publish them.) I welcome any and all criticism, discussion, and conversation about my opinions, but I do not tolerate bullying or nastiness, so read your comments through in both a Chandler Bing voice and a Jack Nicholson in the Shining voice to see if things translate into sarcasm or scary. Thank you.

AMTA, I am still deciding if I want to be part of this relationship. I will let you know pretty soon - either through the submission of my membership dues or through the closing of my internship - if you have anything to say, I am here.

Sincerely,

MJ

Used to be proud member of AMTA since 1989; Reconsidering membership in 2024